High Strangeness: Ozzy and the UFOs

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Ozzy and the UFOs

Lately I've been beginning to turn my attention to my upcoming "Roswell Debate" with Donald Schmitt ("The Children of Roswell"), to be held this October 15 at the Milwaukee Paranormal Conference.

I probably shouldn't say this, but I've been contacted over the past few months by people who want to give me "ammunition" to use against Schmitt in the debate, and while I appreciate the gestures of support, I honestly don't think I'll need the help. I actually don't even want the help; this debate is between me and Schmitty, and I don't want to be seen as being anyone's mouthpiece. And, really, how hard is it to find ammunition for a Roswell debate with Don Schmitt?

Case in point: the host of the Paranormal Conference, who, I must say, is a marketing and PR demon, just sent out a link to a recent TV show in which Don Schmitt put in an appearance and talked up the so-called July, 1947 "Roswell Incident," and boy is this show full of ammunition. The series, "Ozzy and Jack's World Detour," is on the so-called "History Channel" and features heavy metal monster, family man and "history nerd" Ozzy Osbourne and his son Jack visiting historical sites. In this particular episode, the father & son team travel to New Mexico in an RV to see the "Roswell Crash Site," and it's a hoot!
Where will those Osbournes turn up next?

I had never seen any of the Osbourne's TV shows, and I'm not a fan of Ozzy's music, so I was prepared to dislike the hosts, but they won me over pretty quickly. Ozzy and Jack have a great relationship, and they are naturally charming and funny on camera. Which is good, because about 80% of the show consists of them being goofy and screwing around and apparently forgetting what the show is supposed to be about.

Because of all the goofing off, they don't actually get around to talking about Roswell until the final 10 minutes or so of the hour-long show. When they do, Jack reveals himself to be a true if somewhat tentative believer in the Roswell saucer crash mythology, while Ozzy is a die-hard skeptic. At one point Jack says, with a straight face, that there are "over 400 witnesses" to the Roswell Incident, but, of course, offers nothing to back up that claim. 

"It's all bollocks, if you ask me," Ozzy says.

When Ozzy and Jack meet up with Don Schmitt and Roswell science teacher Frank Kimber to drive to the top-secret "crash site," both Jack and Ozzy have hilarious reactions: Jack comments on how weird it was to pull up beside Schmitt's and Kimber's truck, "and they were like, eyes forward, 'Follow us,'"; Ozzy at first dismisses Schmitt and Kimber as "f**king aliens," then later worries that the two UFO guys could be serial murderers who plan to lure him and Jack into the desert and kill them. Honestly, that was my favorite moment of the show.

Ozzy predicts that the top secret "debris field" to which Schmitt and Kimber are leading them will be just an empty field, and he is, of course, right. It could be any field, anywhere in the world. "This is history," Jack insists. "This is stupid," says Ozzy, for once not needing his mumblings to be subtitled.

But son Jack persists, and soon Schmitt is pointing out the physical features of the "debris field" and speechifying about how Bill Clinton still agonizes over the fact that he was not able to get to the bottom of the Roswell mystery while he was president. Next up, Kimber shows Jack and Ozzy some artifacts that he keeps in a super-special top-secret case. He describes the tiny fragments as being somehow unearthly, but Ozzy isn't having any of it:
"This is phenolic epoxy resin," Kimber says of one fingernail-sized fragment. "It shouldn't be here. They didn't have it in '47." 

"How do you know it's not recent?" Ozzy asks. Kimber's excited smile vanishes and he physically shrinks to about two inches high, right on camera! "This, I don't," he admits with a shaky voice. "It hasn't been tested."
So, there you have it. On national TV, a Roswell "expert" in league with Don Schmitt presents an artifact as being evidence of a flying saucer crash, then, when asked one simple question, immediately admits that he's completely full of shit. Where have we seen this before?

Ozzy sums it all up by telling Jack, "They haven't proven anything."

So, yeah, I think I'll have plenty of ammunition for the big Roswell Debate this October. I think I'm at least as sharp as Ozzy Osbourne, and he didn't even break into a sweat knocking down the Roswell myth.

There is one thing I worry about, though... Is anyone contacting Schmitt to offer him ammunition to use against me?

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