High Strangeness: Where's My Space Ark? -- Part 2

Monday, November 10, 2014

Where's My Space Ark? -- Part 2

I've written here in the past about my desire to buy the UFO-shaped "Gobbler" Restaurant and turn it into an Intergalactic Center for UFO Research, and about how a local trucking magnate bought it out from under me and announced his plans for turning the saucer-shaped building into a live music venue.

The loss of that opportunity still burns, and I have been watching the site closely, driving by every few weeks to see the progress that's being made on converting my UFO Research Center into a cheap dive where cheap yokels go to see Cheap Trick perform in one of the only venues that will still book them. Oh, don't get bent out of shape; I have nothing against Cheap Trick, I was just on a roll.

The first change came about almost immediately, when a sign went up in front of the building announcing the coming "Gobbler Theater." And the the next change was... um, nothing. And then a few weeks later... nothing. Then today, the first time I've gotten up that way in over a month... still nothing.

It suddenly occurred to me today that it has been six months since the new owner took over the property, and absolutely nothing seems to have changed... Nothing!!

Come on, this is a Monday afternoon I'm talking about... Monday afternoon and there isn't a single worker or vehicle anywhere near the place!

There it sits... but for how long?
What gives?? I thought that place would be booming by now, but there it sits, a hollow saucer, a brutal reminder of what might have been.

I was pretty upset, let me tell you. Why is that gorgeous grounded flying saucer sitting there unused after all these months when it could be hosting gatherings of UFO dignitaries from around the world, all combining their massive intellects with the singular goal of solving the UFO mystery once and for all, but doing it in my Center so I'd get all the credit??

Then it hit me: What if the there is work being done on that building, but it's being done somewhere where the public can't see it? What if that building is being worked on... from below??

What if, instead of equipping it to host rock bands, the new owner was equipping it for interstellar flight? What if, instead of applying to the village board for a liquor license, he was applying to the Secret 1% World Government for a spaceflight permit? In other words...

What if the Gobbler is The Space Ark??

Surprisingly, when the thought hit me, my sadness and rage instantly disappeared, because I immediately realized that, one way or another, this could be a very, very good thing for me.

First, if I'm right and the trucking company guy is building a Space Ark to escape the imminent destruction of the world, I'm only, what? ten miles away from salvation when the end comes. As a noted writer, thinker and all-around sophisticate, the trucking company guy will undoubtedly make a seat available to me, knowing as he will that my skills will be invaluable on our new world. Maybe he's a reader of this blog, in which case he'll probably let me fly the thing.

Second, if I'm wrong and he's not building a Space Ark to escape the imminent destruction if the world AND he's given up plans to turn the building into a music venue, I might just have an opportunity to buy the building and turn it into my very own Space Ark. In which case I will definitely get to pilot it!

Oh, and I would still find a way to squeeze in an Intergalactic UFO Research Center and a music stage where we could book awesome bands like Cheap Trick. Because I'm not going to invite many people.

Yes, I'm going to have to start driving past that place a lot more often...


Double Nought Spy said...

Just don't buy any old Soviet moon rocket engines, no matter how great the deal looks on paper!

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