High Strangeness: Aliens: Good, Bad, or Badder?

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Aliens: Good, Bad, or Badder?

Like most good Certified UFO Field Investigators, I like to feel useful. I like to feel that I am contributing in some small way to unraveling the UFO mystery once and for all. More than that, I like to feel that my work here will make me famous.

So, after my last post in which I bemoaned the fact that I only have one pending UFO investigation for MUFON right now, one that doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I decided I should be a good guy and offer to take some cases from my colleagues here in Wisconsin. There are now 14 open cases in our state, and only three of us investigating... Clearly, it's time for me, as Chief Investigator, to show some leadership and take on some extra cases.

Unfortunately, the available cases are all pretty lackluster:
  • 4 Different Reddish Orange balls of light moving east to west
  • Two very bright orbs of light
  • 3 silent orange lights travelling north, followed within a minute or two by a 4th
  • 12+ silent craft moving very fast and another that was different from the others
  • Flash of bright white coming from stationary object
  • 3 orange orbs sighted around 9:45pm going in a straight line, one after another traveling NW, my friend and I stared at it for a few minutes in disbelief. no explanation. we tried to rule every explanation out, but we are left perplexed.
  • Looked like it was Black. only seen in pic. No one playing paintball had seen it.
You get the idea. Orbs, orbs and more orbs, and not a single entity or abduction in the bunch. Although, to be honest, the paintball incident showed some promise...

But before I could jump on the paintball case, I noticed that I had been given a dramatic new assignment:
Possible Portal filmed while performing a session with a spirit box.
Holy shit! Nobody investigates portals as well as I do, nobody. Hell, one of my first paranormal experiences involved shifting in and out of a portal on a late-nite "haunted woods tour" with about 30 other completely unhinged people. That was just before one of the guys in the group shouted out that he saw a satyr on the trail ahead of us, but that's a whole 'nother story. The point is, I investigate the hell out of portals.

But what the hell is a "spirit box?" Aching to know more, I opened the file and read the witness' account:
"In September 2014 on a late Sunday afternoon, I had gone less then a mile from my home to a small rural park, to use a paranormal device (Spirit Box) I traveled to the park with the device and camera to record my communication with the spirit box. I had pulled into the lot of the park and set up my camera on a mini tripod on the dash of my vehicle. I was alone and no one was in the park at the time. I had set the camera to video and pointed it across a softball field. I then turned on the spirit box and started a session. The session only lasted about four minutes. I then turned off the camera and spirit box and drove home."
 Okay, cool, but again, what the fuck is a "Spirit Box?"
"This time when I downloaded my recordings, I noticed something in the sky on the video. I at first thought it was dirt on the windshield of my vehicle. But as I continued to watch the video, I see the object fade as a cloud passes before it. What I was witnessing was a dark/light/gray/white blob begin to expand, shrink, shimmer, pulsate, and hover just below the clouds. This thing opens up in the sky as I start the session with the spirit box and hovers the entire time I am communicating with this spirit box. I did not see it at the time of recording. Only upon playback."
By now I'm realizing that this case is not going to help unravel the mystery of the UFO, and it's certainly not going to make me famous, at least not in the way I'd like.

But I'm committed now, in a manner of speaking, so I read on:
"In August of 2014 I started photographing orbs and other entities in and around my home. When I would put the orb pictures on a photo editing program I started seeing images or faces in the photographs. Some of these images/faces are not of human origin. They look Alien in nature. One day to my utter shock I photographed a being that is beyond imagination. This being is in clear focus, has wings and a human like body... I have hundreds of orb like images and hours of spirit communication. Spirits have spoke via the spirit box stating that the "Brown Aliens" are of a threat to the living. They have stated that there is no immediate fear of Aliens contacting us... All of this is real. These spirits speak to me all the time and can be trusted to speak truthfully."
Ok, whatever. What is a Spirit Box??? Fortunately, the witness had added links to a few of her videos on YouTube -- like this one -- and through the miracle of streaming video I was able to experience the wonder of the Spirit Box.... It's a little radio thingy that you can get at Amazon or Radio Shack, and when you turn it on and ask it things, it scans the radio spectrum and picks up random words and sounds from various broadcasts. If that doesn't sound very fun or useful to you, you're missing the point. The point is that your brain takes the random noises from the Spirit Box and tricks you into thinking some entity is talking to you... It's part Magic 8 Ball, part Siri, part Ouija Board, and it's utterly amazing. If you wait long enough and open your mind wide enough, the noises will sound like an answer to your question. Best of all, it's the answer you want to hear... every time!
Actual promotional material

Paranormal researchers call this "EVP," or "electronic voice phenomenon." Which is great if you're a ghost hunter. But I hunt UFOs and E.T.s, and I already have special UFO-hunting tools in my UFO toolkit. Is this something I need to know about?

To help me decide, I read some customer reviews on Amazon. I normally go straight to the "one star" reviews, because if something's crap I want to know right away. Sure enough, lots of the "one star" reviews say that the $159.90 P-SB7 Spirit Box works just great the first time you use it, but when you try to turn it on a second time, nothing happens. Of course, that could just be spirit mischief. If they tell you something once, why the hell should they come back again a second time?

What intrigues me most is that the spirits that talk through the P-SB7 seem to have a lot to say about aliens... They're "good." They're "bad." They're "badder." They're "brown."

This is significant because, to my knowledge, UFO entities do not spend much time talking about ghosts. So maybe this case could help unravel the UFO enigma once and for all, from an entirely unexpected direcion. The only thing I know for sure is that this case has come my way, for reasons I cannot yet comprehend, and I plan to investigate the hell out of it. Paintball can wait.

1 comment:

Some Guy on the Innernets said...

Well you learn something new every day. Who knew aliens are really demons? I didn't! It doesn't scare me though because I don't believe in demons. So I guess I don't need to worry about aliens anymore either. Cool.