High Strangeness: UFOs on the Air

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

UFOs on the Air

So, I just did my first ever talking head "guest expert" interview for a cable TV show today, and I think it went well. The producers have asked me to keep the identity of the show confidential, so I will heretofore refer to it only as "the show" (on a related note, you may think you recall me previously having mentioned the name of the show in another post, but you are wrong).

Now this show sometimes does segments about UFOs, and today we were talking about a particular UFO event that, again, you may think I've written about before but I haven't. Over nearly two-and-a-half hours of talking, we went over just about everything you could possibly want to cover in a 10-minute segment. Video is amazing!

I was worried at first, because the producers had sent me a memo telling me what I could and couldn't wear. My wife will tell you that I wear what I want to wear, and I don't cotton to people telling me what to wear and what not to wear. So when I got a letter spelling out NO ties/bow ties, NO sweater vests, NO white/cream or black shirts, NO headwear, NO patterns, and oh by the way, bring "an extra shirt or two," I was fit to be tied. I feel naked without a bow tie, sweater vest, white, cream and black patterned shirt and headwear; what was I going to do? Other UFO guys get to wear hats on their shows; why was I being persecuted?

In the end, I wore a blue "jewel-toned"  button-down shirt that was big enough to conceal the tie, vest and patterned shirt, and I held a cowboy hat in my lap, out of camera range.

The interview went well, which is good because I had spent the previous 48 hours cramming. When you're deep into the interview, I found, you realize that you have a story you're trying to tell, but the producer has a story she's trying to tell, so you have to work together to tell a story that makes you both happy. I think we did it.
Everybody else gets to wear a hat.

I tend to be verbose, and to use far more words than necessary, and repeat myself, and repeat myself, and go on and on and on and on and on about things, so whoever edits that tape is going to earn every cent of his or her pay. But hey, when you're asked to be a guest expert, you want to make sure you're explaining everything just right, so I did what I felt I had to do.

The best part came at the end, when I didn't have to talk anymore. They producer and videographer took me outside to a nearby pictureque setting to take some "hero shots." What is a hero shot, you ask? Well, it's when they make me stare coldly into the camera so they can pan back and forth over my stern countenance. These shots will be used for my intro. As I stare coldly into the camera, the narrator will say, "Mark O'Connell, UFO Investigator, believes that UFOs are a thing," or some such introduction, and then they'll cut to me saying something profound.

So I think it'll be good. And since the show won't air until the end of the year, you have no choice but to take my word for it.


Rococo Beamship said...

If you are lucky, they won't mash up your statements into something 180 degrees off from what you actually said. They will tell the story they want to, or more likely, the story they are being paid to tell. Here's hoping you are lucky.

Telling you what to wear? That does not inspire confidence. I'm afraid I would have had to show up looking like Mr. Furley.

Mark UFO'Connell said...

Dang, Mr. Furley's a good look for me, too!