High Strangeness: If I Held a UFO Conference - Part 2

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

If I Held a UFO Conference - Part 2

Man, this is the last time I ask you people for suggestions.

I asked a simple question: what unique and interesting speakers would you invite to a hypothetical UFO conference? In response, you have bombarded me with names! Accounting for the several repeats that piled up, I'm looking at a list of 17 people who I now have to vet. Seventeen! As if that wasn't enough trouble, some of you aren't even sure if the people you suggested are alive! So guess who has to start sending out "Dear So-and-So, are you still alive?" emails. Do you realize how much work this is going to be??
This lady can attend my UFO conference free of charge.

On the plus side, the people you've suggested are, by and large, pretty interesting. There was only one name to which I reacted negatively: Nick Redfern. I'm sure he's a nice guy and all, but he's a little too Roswell-y for me and spends a bit too much time appearing on those cable channels I mentioned in my last post. Sorry, Nick, you're out.

Let's look at the rest of the list and see what each person has to offer, shall we?
  • Jack Brewer -- I like Jack's blog, The UFO Trail, a lot. He's in.
  • Peter Brooksmith -- Talking about UFOs with a British accent -- cool.
  • Thomas "Eddie" Bullard -- Anybody with a Ph.D. in folklore who lists the 1959 Father Gill incident as his top UFO case is "ok" with me.
  • Bill Chalker -- Has already contacted me with great comments for my Hynek book. He's a keeper.
  • Jerome Clark -- I would love to hear him recap his epic "UFO Encyclopedia" from A to Z.
  • Dr. Richard Haines -- Specializes in aerial encounters, a favorite topic of mine; he's in.
  • Micah Hanks -- I admit I'm iffy on this guy. Like Redfern, he seems a little too ready to lend his name to any old unexplained phenomenon that happens to materialize. I'll have to think about it.
  • Allan Hendry -- Getting the famous UFO recluse to break cover would be a major coup.
  • Paul Kimball -- I don't know much about this dude but he seems to be a bit under the radar so I'd give him a chance.
  • Ted Phillips -- Expert on CE2K physical traces; I bet he can give a spellbinding presentation! 
  • Kevin Randle -- How can I not like this guy? We've both been maligned by the same dark force in UFOlogy and lived to tell about it.
  • Jenny Randles -- She's like Kevin Randle in duplicate. She's in!
  • John Rimmer --Writes about 'How to take down a UFO organization.' Subversive enough to be the Grand High Guest Speaker of the whole damn conference!
  • Martin Shough -- Expert on radar cases, a Hynek favorite; I'd love to hear him speak.
  • Ronald Story -- May not be alive, but if he is, he's in, for no other reason than to celebrate the fact that he's still alive
  • Michael Swords -- He is so in.
Good list, I have to admit. And, despite my whining at the beginning of the post, I am actually really proud of you all for coming up with such intriguing, challenging suggestions.

I'm also proud of these additional suggestions for special guest appearances at the conference:
  • Dr. Steven Greer, encased in carbonite
  • Dr. Stanton Friedman, being interrogated about the Marjorie Fish star map
It goes without saying that if there is enough carbonite left over, Stanton Friedman will be encased when we're finished interrogating him.


Mark UFO'Connell said...

Oops, I left off some names!

Isaac Koi -- Don't know much about him, because his website is down...

Peter Sturrock -- A big yes! Risked his professional standing to push for more study of the UFO phenom.

Keith Thompson -- Can't not like someone who writes about C.G. Jung and Joseph Campbell.

Double Nought Spy said...

If you have to invite Kimball, then please keep him away from the other guests. You might have a revolt or even a fist fight on your hands. I think Kevin could take him with one punch, myself. Maybe have Kimball be the lawyer to harass Uncle Stan. Stan is apparently actually his uncle, anyway, and Kimball is a lawyer. Then encase them both. Carbonite might be cheaper in larger quantities, especially the Chinese stuff.

Sounds like a fun festival, er conference.

Double Nought Spy said...

I see you have fallen into the common assumption that Uncle Stan is Dr. Stan. He'll be the first to explain that he has a master's in physics. Well, he would be the first if he got here before I noticed. :)

Mark UFO'Connell said...

Festival, conference, what's the difference?

I really thought that because Stanton Friedman was a "nuclear physicist" he had a Ph.D. But he's really more like the star of the old Firesign Theater radio show "Ask Dr. Science" who would introduce himself by saying:

"I have a Master's Degree... in science!"

Saucerspud said...

I'd love to hear Martin Shough's analysis of the radar evidence from the Stephenville, TX sightings.

Anonymous said...

Regardless of his recent dust-ups with UFOlogy's old guard (including his Uncle Stan), I think Paul Kimball would make a fine addition to any panel. He takes nothing for granted and is not afraid to ask the tough questions. For those who don't know, Paul is a Canadian filmmaker who, along with other things, has turn out several UFO documentaries. Check out "Best Evidence" on youtube.

Mark UFO'Connell said...

What kind of "dust-up" are we talking about here?

Double Nought Spy said...

Investigating that will take you right into the middle of the Roswell business. Be sure you want to go there. I want to like Kimball because he has made some very good movies, but he doesn't make it easy.

If you want all the gory and annoying details, just google "Kimball dream team" or look in Kevin's blog. I often cite Kevin Randle as an example of what UFO investigators and authors should be like, even though I disagree with some of his conclusions. He has been maligned my many dark forces in ufology over the years, for some reason. I suspect they misinterpret his willingness to correct mistakes as some kind of weakness, which of course only makes them look like fools in the end.

Jack Brewer said...

I don't think these kinds of posts about hypothetical conferences tend to serve much of a - hey, wait a minute! WHO did you say is in?!!

Great post! Thanks!

Isaac Koi - New Uploads said...

Hi Mark OC - I learnt that my (draft) website was down from your post above, so I thought I'd mention that I've fixed it. (I tend to post more material on forums such as AboveTopSecret.com and a few email discussion Lists than on my own website. I simply find it easier to post on websites where maintenance etc is dealt with by other people). All the best, Isaac Koi

Mark UFO'Connell said...

Thanks, Isaac, it's nice to hear from you! I'll take another look at our website when I have time this weekend. I'm looking forward to it!


Mark UFO'Connell said...

Hahaha, nice response, Mr. Brewer! I'll let you know just as soon as the conference is scheduled :)

El Doctore said...

Yeah, I'll second double nought spy's sentiments:

You really don't want Kimball at even your hypothetical conference, let alone a real one.

He's undergone a "conversion" of sorts, "eschewing" ufology.

Search on "Roswell Dream Team" and "slides" -- pretty gory.

Mark UFO'Connell said...

Oh man, I got two paragraphs into reading about the "Roswell Dream Team" and my eyes started to glaze over... A hundred years from now, people will still be coming up with "startling new evidence" concerning Roswell, and it will still prove nothing. And Dream Teamers will still be throwing hissy fits about it and telling each other to go to hell. These people need to find new hobbies. I suggest needlepoint.

Anonymous said...

It would be wicked awesome if this dream conference/Hynek book signing, could be held at the Gobbler(aka new NICAP HQ).

Mark UFO'Connell said...

On paper that seems perfect, but I expect millions of people to come to this event, and the Gobgler is pretty small...

The bird is the word... said...

"Millions," eh? At least. ;-)

And after the conference, a Hynek bio book signing, carbonite for all, ET lands just for the par-tay, and a subtle probe-a-thon (volunteer only!), and then a presentation of "Roswell - The Musical," followed by the start of the million-man mutato march on Area 51 from the august faux-marble entry hall of the Ghobghler, with 24 convenient, Segway-accessible underground levels and co-HQ of NICAP, MUFON, CUFOS, FUFOR, etc., with separate monorail tunnels to Dulce, and then, and then... roast turkey sandwiches on rye for everyone!!! YAY! (Oh, the humanity!)

I may have had too much Kahlua this evening.

Harumph! Or, maybe... not enough!

Jeez, Mark, with all these planned activities (as least hypothetically), particularly the ET landing (with enough pre-publicity...), you'd have tens of millions show up.

Enough to tilt Michigan into the Great Lakes, I would hazard.

Well, one can team dream, can't I/We-wei?

And, you also have your own consulting company, a wife (and kids), writing a book, a business to run, MUFON sightings to investigate... and probably so much more.

Do you ever get the chance to just... smell the roses? I mean, I'm just exhausted writing this comment! Sheesh! Or does not your role in Bostrum's simulation allow for that?

Just some simple contemplation, a still meditation om the weirdness of it all... since, as we've been told, when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. (thank you, HST)

Just kidding, man. Sounds like an interesting, full life to me. Keep it up. No, not there! You know what I mean! ...I hope. Cheers.

"It's just this little chromium switch ... follow the yellow rubber line." -- Firesign (Hey! Humor goes both ways, ya'know? We now return to our irregularly scheduled program.)

Mark UFO'Connell said...

hahaha, yes I guess I do have a busy life. It keeps me and all my simulacra on our toes, I'll tell you that!