No Motherships, Please

The big newspaper column about my Top Ten UFO Case appeared today, and it's a bit of a let-down. The columnist only quoted me once, used the quote out of context, and in the end wrote a really boring piece. I'm not even sure why he bothered reporting on the story, because he didn't go for laughs, he didn't go for pathos, he didn't go for anything at all. It's a prime example of lazy writing, and if you want to be lulled into a gentle sleep you can read it here.

As for my quote, I was commenting on something very specific that the two witness had told me last year when I was interviewing them about the sighting. They both said that they were scared that the object might take them away, and then they would never see their family again... The fact that in the excitement they had left a 4 year-old grandson crying in the car probably had a lot to do with that.

I thought this was a very genuine human response to a frightening situation. So, what I told the columnist was that this fear of being taken away lent the report some real credibility to me. The columnist used my quote to make it seem I was supporting the witness' comment about the object being a "mothership." That is something I would never do, because it's pure speculation. In fact, the term "mothership" never came up in my interview with the columnist...

The only other news item of note in today's Milwaukee paper was the Harley 110th Anniversary bash.

Fortunately, the lively comments almost make up for the dullness of the column itself. Here's a minor comic masterpiece:

"I noticed many unidentified objects over the past week move in and out of sight - they did make a specific sound however - 'Potato, Potato, Potato!'"

Haha, potato, good one! Then there's this thoughtful commentary:

"Congratulations to Jim for blowing the lid off this story. Three observations: first, it seems like more than a coincidence that Hartford and Cedarburg are in such close proximity, and that the UFO sighting and the abduction of the Italian sausage seem to have occurred in roughly the same time frame. Second, because it is a proven fact that aliens only abduct white people, it can also be no coincidence that they are concentrating their activities in Washington, Waukesha and Ozaukee counties. Finally, has the University of Lawsonomy Department of Astro-Alien Studies commented on this incident? While the Department is cloaked in secrecy and reports only to the Dean and the Racine County Republican Party, they may be able to shed some light on the matter. For example, everyone has assumed that the recent graffiti vandalism at the Republican Headquarters was the work of earthlings or Democratic mutants. Could it something far more sinister? Again, great work Jim. Keep digging on this one."

 Wow, hope you didn't waste too much time researching and writing that! And, finally, this gem:

 "It's Uranus."

 'Nuff said!