High Strangeness: Nasty, Sniveling Whiners

Monday, June 17, 2013

Nasty, Sniveling Whiners

Well, even after my ill-fated investigation last week involving the death threat from the alien greys, I am still considering accepting my MUFON State Director's invitation to become Chief Investigator for the state of Wisconsin. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what duties the position entails, but in the meantime I'm trying to be a much more involved Certified UFO Field Investigator by catching up on the past few issues of the MUFON Journal.

It's a good thing I am, because big things are afoot, and if I'm going to become a high-ranking officer I need to have my finger on the pulse of the organization. First I read the June issue and it was full of all sorts of crap about the Citizen Hearing on Disclosure, which I did not read about, so I closed that up and opened the May issue.

There I found some interesting news from the editor of the MUFON Journal, a guy named Roger Marsh. He announced that he is now blogging on Huffington Post, which is cool, and that he recently appeared on a HuffPost radio show to talk about MUFON's work, which is also cool. But what happened on the radio show was not cool at all. Also appearing on the show was astronomer Seth Shostak, who works on the very cool Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) project. You would think that Mr. Shostak and Mr. Marsh would have a lot in common, and would have a very pleasant conversation about alien life, but you would be wrong.

Mr. Marsh states that at the end of the show, Mr. Shostak got "nasty," and said that MUFON's search for evidence of aliens visiting Earth has "never turned over a single clue--not a single case--that suggests alien visitation."

That is nasty. It's also true, so settle down there, Mr. Marsh. And maybe you set off Mr. Shostak with your claim that what MUFON is searching for is "real," thereby insinuating that what SETI is searching for is in some way not real. That might have done it, don't you think?

Shaking my head, I turned to the President's column on the facing page, thinking I would find relief. I did for a time: President Dave proudly stated that MUFON has achieved "a stature never before possessed in our history," and went on to say that "we are sought after, consulted with, recognized and respected like never before." That's all pretty nice, and I was starting to feel really good about taking on more of a leadership role with the organization.

Then President Dave's column took a sharp left into crazytown: "Now, that does not mean we don't have our detractors," he wrote. "There will always be a few sniveling whiners who have not gotten the memo. And if they have, they could not read it.

Do not snivel or whine in front of this guy or he will call you out on it.
"There will always be those who just will not accept that they have lost," he continued in a childlike rant. "They will continue their childlike ranting in the face of the truth and the truth is that they are wrong and that MUFON is at the top of our game."

Okay, straight off, I will confess that I'm one of the ones who got the memo and could not read it. It was pretty smudged, and had a huge coffee stain right in the middle of it. But who are the sniveling whiners, and why will they not accept that they've lost? And what exactly have they lost? And why won't they accept that MUFON (and I include myself here) is at the top of its game?

President Dave played it pretty cagily here, but his message isn't lost on me. There is obviously another UFO investigation organization out there that is made up in its entirety of sniveling whiners who can't read memos, and we at MUFON must crush them under the weight of our investigative might.

Despite myself, I feel compelled to join the fight. I am with you, President Dave! I will accept the post of Chief Investigator for the state of Wisconsin and I will strike a mighty blow for MUFON!


Terry the Censor said...

I subscribed to the MUFON Journal last year but it's so blah and lightweight, nothing like the old back issues I find online.

And Stan Friedman's column passes the Turing test: I can't tell if Stan is writing them himself or a computer is randomly assembling them from a database of his past talking points.

Mark UFO'Connell said...

Exactly why I started writing this blog! There's a desperate need for new voices to be heard!