High Strangeness: July 2012

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

People Are Strange

I think I've been punk'd. And I hate that word, "punk'd," so that fact that I've probably been punk'd is doubly obnoxious. I recently investigated a UFO sighting reported by a guy in northern Wisconsin who had seen a triangle of lights zoom across the night sky. The sighting didn't amount to much; according to the witness' testimony, the object was only visible for three to five seconds, and he felt it was more likely to be a secret military aircraft than any kind of alien craft. Still, I wrote up a serious report and listed the object as "Unknown - Other."

As I reported here earlier, I got a voice mail message the next day from the witness' wife, asking me when I wanted to set up a time to talk to her husband. It seemed weird -- suspicious, even -- why didn't this woman know that I had just interviewed her husband the night before? But in the end I decided the two of them had gotten their wires crossed, as I have heard some married couples sometimes do, and I left it at that.

Well, yesterday I got a voicemail message from her again, asking again when I wanted to talk to her husband, and this time she sounded seriously pissed that I hadn't returned her earlier message. I wasn't going to let that stand, so I immediately called her back to set her straight.

She answered right away and I introduced myself and explained to her that I hadn't returned her first call because I had, in fact, already interviewed her husband. Then she wanted to know what I had talked to him about...

That's when I started having doubts. Had he not told her about the UFO sighting, for fear that she would ridicule him? Did I want to be the one to break the news to her?

Yes, actually, I did. I explained as politely as possible that I had interviewed him about his recent UFO sighting. I further explained that I had made the assumption that Hubby had neglected to tell Wifey that I had already interviewed him, and decided not to return her first call for that reason.

She took the UFO news really well, I thought. She gave an exasperated sigh and said, "Hang on, I'll put him on."

Seriously, she had just called me not 30 seconds earlier, talking about him as though he wasn't there, and he was actually right there the whole time. So she handed the phone to Hubby and he said, "Uh... hi?"

"Yeah, hi," I said, "This is Mark O'Connell from MUFON. We just talked last week about your UFO sighting."

Hubby: "Uh... yeah?"

Me: "Well, I was returning your wife's call asking about setting up our interview.... I wanted to let her know that we had actually already talked about your sighting last week."

Hubby: "Uh... ok."

That was it. I said goodbye and hung up. I honestly don't even know if this was the same guy I interviewed the week before, but I couldn't wait to end that call.

Who was that guy on the phone?

Monday, July 30, 2012

Ghost In The Machine

I was feeling pretty good about submitting my first two UFO sighting care reports, until I got an email from my State Director asking me to change my case disposition on of the cases!

Damn. I can't even file a simple report without my leader asking me to change stuff! I'm not sure if this qualifies as a blatant attempt to get me to falsify information, but on my case report concerning the mother and son who watched the two glowing white orbs from their balcony, she wants me to change my "Unknown - Other" disposition to "Unknown - UAV."

It may seem simple, even inconsequential to you, but you didn't spend half of the past year studying the most confusing field manual in human history to become a Certified UFO Field Investigator, did you? Well, I did, and I don't want to think that I put in all that hard work just so my boss could lean on me to change my findings when they don't suit her obviously political partisan personal agenda.

Let's look at the two classifications, shall we?

"Unknown - Other" is supposed to mean "various anomalous objects or effects, such as a 'luminescent, maneuvering, shape-changing' object," according to a secret MUFON Powerpoint presentation I found online. Considering the woman and her son had seen two luminescent maneuvering objects that changed from round to oval, I think "Unknown - Other" is a pretty damn good fit. But my Director says "My understanding is that the Other - Unknown is more for ghost-like events, etc." I could almost see her point if the witnesses had seen ghosts, but they hadn't. More to the point, I am not a ghost investigator. I am a UFO investigator. Ergo, the objects the witnesses saw in the sky were UFOs, not ghosts.

Ghost or UFO? Unfortunately, my UFO Field Investigator training has rendered me incapable of distinguishing between the two phenomenon.
"Unknown - UAV" refers to an "unidentified aerial vehicle," which is sort of a catch-all for any number of anomalous lights and objects. That same secret Powerpoint presentation explians that "UAV (Unknown Aerial Vehicle) means the UFO sort of, but doesn’t(!) resemble and behave like a conventional aircraft of some type." Which is really no help at all, upon reflection. Still, it was enough for me to dispose of my other case -- involving the two guys around the campfire who saw a triangle of lights zoom silently across the night sky -- as "Unknown - UAV." The witness even said he was pretty sure it was a secret military aircraft, for cripes' sake, so "Unknown - UAV" really hits the nail on the head, in my not-so-humble opinion.

So what do I do? I don't necessarily want to challenge my state director on this and start all sorts of stuff that could lead to power struggles and personal recriminations. But I do want to maintain some integrity here. So I've decided to write to the big guy, the International Director, to get some clarification. I trust this will settle thing, but if he comes back to me with some gobbledy-gook about "ghost-like events" I'll scream.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

UFO Nirvana

Not to be insufferable or anything, but this has been a great week for self-congratulations! I marked the one-year anniversary of this blog, filed my first complete UFO investigation, and got my MUFON Field Investigator Patch, and today I've hit an even higher high. I have just gotten permission to study the personal archives of the late Dr. J. Allen Hynek, UFO researcher extraordinaire.

I've written about Dr. Hynek here, here, here and here. And also there. And a couple other places, too, actually. You might say I write about him obsessively, and you might be right, but there's nothing wrong with a little hero worship. At the risk of being redundant, Dr. H., the creator of the famous Close Encounters UFO classification system, is a giant in the field of UFO research.

And now I have been granted access to his files and records by the Director of the Center for UFO Studies (CUFOS), the UFO research organization founded by Dr. Hynek. Access to these files is vital as I prepare a proposal for a book about Dr. Hynek's career. It's a tremendous honor, and a tremendous opportunity. I'm excited, and a little scared... What will I find there? What will it be like to page through documents that the great man himself wrote and touched?

I've scoured the CUFOS website, and these are the only images I can find of the sacred archives:

Image #1: I can only hope that this photo was taken before CUFOS transferred all its files to huge reels of magnetic tape.
Image #2: This is Frank, the librarian. I'll have to figure out when he takes his day off. Failing that, I'll have to find out what sweets he has a weakness for.
Clearly, CUFOS has a lot of information to look through. This is not going to be my typical afternoon research job...

I'd write more, but guess what? I have to run off to continue a UFO sighting investigation!

More to come...

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I Have a Patch

This is what it's all about, folks. This is what all the hard work, the months of suffering, the sleepless nights, the endless doubts -- this is what they're all about: The Patch.

I just received this patch in the mail today from Vxxxx, my Wisconsin State MUFON Director, to thank me for... something or other, I'm not really sure. Her letter started out "Guys--" so I know it wasn't just for me. Then she said something about "showing a little appreciation for what you're doing to help," and then... the Patch.

As you can see, it's fully embroidered, is made of a durable (earthly) material, is 4" by 4" by 4" and has the option of adhesive or sew-on attachment to your (my) MUFON FI shirt, jacket, duffel bag or "Go" bag.

Hmmm... That reminds me, I still have to put together my "Go" bag. Maybe this weekend.

Anyway, the question is, would I want this patch on my MUFON FI shirt, jacket, duffel bag or "Go" bag? Design-wise, it's a little busy. First you've got the three silver-headed, red-tailed sperm entering the silver egg (strange imagery, indeed, but maybe this is how human/alien hybrids are concieved). Then you've got the star map. And when I say the star map, I mean The Star Map, the interstellar travel guide given to UFO abductee Betty Hill by the captain of the spaceship that she and her husband Barney were abducted onto...
The Star Map. I know what you're thinking: "What kind of a crazy star map is that? The space is white and the stars are black!" To which I answer, "I haven't the foggiest. That's the way the image came up on Google." Just try to pretend that the space is really black and the stars are really white, and everything will be okay.
So there's a lot going on on the Patch. But that's not the worst of it. When I showed the Patch to my wife Mxxxxx, she hesitated for a moment and then said, very dryly, "From a style standpoint... it's a very big patch."

I took that to mean that it would only work on a very big shirt, jacket, duffel bag or "Go" bag. Unless... I have a pair of old jeans with the knee torn out. Every time I see those jeans I think, "Dang, those old jeans would still be good if I could just find a patch big enough to sew over that tear." Problem solved.

And that's why I'm a Certified MUFON Field Investigator.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Good, the Bad, and the Uncertain

Two UFO sightings, in the same state, at the same hour of the night, only a month apart, involving lights moving through the night sky... You would think they would register about the same in MUFON's "Ballaster-Guasp Evaluation" that determines the likelihood that a UFO sighting actually happened, but you would be wrong.

One investigation involved a single mom and her son who sighted two glowing, pulsating ovals hovering in the night sky a mile from their apartment balcony before one shot off vertically and one shot straight up. The other investigation involved a man and his buddy standing around a campfire who sighted three star-like lights in an "arrowhead" formation zoom across the night sky. Both pretty interesting, both pretty compelling, but the mom and her son scored a 12.1% certainty rating while the two guys around the campfire only got a 4.2.

To make it clear, that means that in UFO-speak, the mom & son sighting has been officially deemed to be three times more likely to be authentic than the two guys around the fire sighting, and even though I investigated them both, I have no idea why.

The Vallee Category Chart: Campfire guy experienced an FB-1, while mom & son experienced an MA-1. You'd be surprised what a difference it makes to a trained UFOlogist!
To recap, the BGE looks at three factors determine the certainty of a UFO sighting: amount of information uncovered by the investigation (Information Quality Index); overall strangeness of the occurrence (Strangeness Index); and witness' personal data (Reliability Index). To give you an idea of how this tool hands out ratings, the mother scored high on the Reliability Index because she's going to college, while the campfire guy scored low because he's a laborer. Also, the fact that the mom and her son are related gave her a better Reliability Index than the campfire guy, because his friend was only a friend. Had they been brothers or cousins, they would have scored higher. But, had the mom and her son been co-workers, they would have scored higher still. Do you understand that? I sure don't.

Strange as that is, it's nothing compared to the Strangeness Index, which gives the mom & son sighting a huge score for involving "Anomalous movements," but gives the campfire guy sighting a low score for only involving "Anomalous appearance." Oh, sure, I could have checked off "Anomalous movements" for campfire guy's sighting, because it did streak across the night sky in only five seconds, but it moved horizontally only, never changed direction or speed, and really just behaved like a very fast airplane, and according to my MUFON training, that is not noteworthy behavior (see chart above). One of the objects sighted by the mom & son, however, shot off straight up into the night sky at a tremendous rate of speed. I call that "Anomalous."

My puzzling over this will have to wait, however, because I have received a strange voicemail message that has me just a little worried... I interviewed the campfire guy two nights ago, but last night I got a message from a woman claiming to be campfire guy's wife saying that, sure, we could set up the interview with her for next week Monday. What the...? I've listened to the message twice, and she doesn't sound like a robot or an alien, but agents of disinformation are known to be tricky rascals.

My gut tells me to not call her back, but the dogged truth-seeker in me is tempted to dial the number....

Monday, July 23, 2012

High Strangeness, Year One

Wow, it completely escaped my notice that High Strangeness has just marked its First Anniversary! It actually happened three days ago, and I had no clue... I remembered my second wedding anniversary just five days ago; you'd think the blog's anniversary would be every bit as prominent in my memory banks... Of course, nobody gets mad at me if I forget my blogaversary. Unless... are you mad, reader? There's no point in keeping it inside, so, please, let it all out.

Happy Anniversary to me! What better way to celebrate than to break out this picture I've been dying to use but haven't come up with even the flimsiest reason to? Now I don't need a reason, because... Godzilla Pants!

What a complete revolution around the sun it's been! I've seen three UFOs, attended a UFO conference, started laying the groundwork for writing the definitive biography of one of the most famous UFOlogists of all time, been published and interviewed on public radio, and most importantly, I've become a Certified UFO Field Investigator. This morning I submitted my first completed investigation report, and I feel pretty good about it.

To be honest, Case #XXXXX turned out to be not particularly exciting or noteworthy. Two guys drinking beer around a campfire late at night saw three white lights in an "arrowhead" formation zip silently across the night sky...

I know what you're thinking, but I ask you not to judge. Many of the most important discoveries of our time were made by guys drinking beer around a campfire. But alas, this is not one of them... The whole sighting was over in five seconds, and the witness told me thinks he and his buddy saw a secret military aircraft, not anything "alien." Believe me, I tried to get him to change his mind, but he was set on his version of the story, so what could I do? I had no choice but to label the case "Unknown - Other."

My State Director is already looking for a new case to assign to me. She thought she had a good one today, but it was just a spammer who submitted the same sighting report a few hundred times with the classic "555-1212" gag phone number in his contact information. She assumed it was the work of a human prankster, but I'm not so sure. By now word must have gotten out to the aliens that MUFON is starting to send their toughest non-Bigfoot cases my way, and you can bet they're shaking in their moon boots.

Friday, July 20, 2012

The Craft Of Unknown Origin

There's a very cool Wisconsin MUFON meeting coming up next month that I would like to go to, because -- holy crap! -- the guest speaker is one of the eyewitnesses to The Rendlesham Forest Incident, otherwise known as "The British Roswell!" Why it's called this I don't know, because Rendlesham doesn't involve any crashed spaceships or alien corpses or government coverups, but I guess every country wants its own Roswell, and our British friends need something to feel good about these days, so I'll let them have this one.

I first heard of The Rendlesham Forest Incident (can we just call it RFI from here on out? thank you) a few years back when I saw it re-enacted on some Discovery Channel UFO show which seemed to be repeated about 15 times a day every flipping day for several months. Because of this endless repetition, I quickly grew tired of the whole thing and forgot about it. But now Rendlesham's back, and this time I'm paying attention.

It's a pretty cool story, actually.... For three nights running in December, 1980, a whole bunch of US military men stationed at RAF Bentwater and RAF Woodbridge, two NATO air bases in the UK, were run ragged chasing a cone-shaped object that prowled around the bases and landed in the nearby Forest -- Rendlesham Forest, in fact. The object, which came to be known as "The Craft Of Unknown Origin," or COUO, was seen by 80 witnesses, and left behind "ground traces" and "radioactive anomalies." At one point, strange entities were seen outside the COUO, apparently attempting repairs. Also, a dog died.

Did this strange object kill a dog? If so, what else might it kill?
So the guy who will be speaking at the Wisconsin MUFON meeting next month is one Sgt. James Penniston, USAF Retired. This is the man who was in charge of security at RAF Woodbridge the night the COUO first appeared, which means he was in charge of the team that was sent out to investigate what was at first thought to be a crashed airplane, which means he was one of the first to lay eyes on the strange object, which means he discovered the strange black markings on the side of he cone that may or may not have been alien symbols... No matter how you slice it, that's pretty cool.

Ultimately the COUO took off straight up into the sky at a speed that Penniston described in his log book as "IMPOSSIBLE!"

I'll tell you what else is impossible: Penniston will be showing off -- for the first time anywhere -- an actual model of the COUO! It took them 32 years to build a model of a cone? IMPOSSIBLE! Will there be models of the strange entities? Of the dead dog? Those are models I'd really like to see, and I think these chaps have had more than enough time to make them.

You can learn more about the RFI here... If you dare.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Case One!

You can't read anybody's name on these forms, right? Please tell me you can't.

This is what it looks like. Case Number One, my first completed Certified MUFON Field Investigation Form.

Last night I interviewed a woman who had had a pretty interesting UFO encounter last March. She had been watching TV close to midnight when her son came into the room in an agitated state and told her to look outside the window. When she did, she saw a glowing oval that pulsated with white, red and blue lights as it hovered in the sky a mile from her second story balcony. It was a clear, quiet night, and the object made no sound at all. After a few minutes a second object appeared, smaller than the first but identical in every other regard. The two objects moved closer together, perhaps touching, and grew brighter as they did so. Then the second object shot straight up and disappeared, and a few moments later the first object shot off to the northwest and vanished as well.

There are a few details that make this interesting to me. There were multiple witnesses, for one thing. They observed the objects moving about in unexpected ways, for another. The witness was clearly shaken by what she saw, even after four months, for a third. But what struck me more than anything else was the fact that the witness lives within a few miles of a pretty large regional airport -- she and her kids know exactly what airplanes and helicopters look like and sound like, and these objects were nothing like any aircraft they have ever seen.

Want more? How about this: since that sighting in March, she and her kids have seen similar objects three more times. The latest incident happened two weeks ago, when they were out driving one night and were afraid that the glowing object was following them...

Because of this, and because her kids were not at home last night, I will be continuing this investigation for the next week or two before I file my report. All I can tell you right now is that I believe the witness saw something unusual and disturbing, but I have no idea what she saw. I think I'd better get used to that.

Filling out the Certified MUFON Field Investigation Form was fun and easy, too! But it really got cool when I went to fill out the all-important Ballaster-Guasp Evaluation Form... This is the "self-evaluation tool" that gives us an instant evaluation of a sighting's "certainty," thus relieving me of any responsibility to think. Based on the amount of time I have spent investigating the case (thus far), the overall weirdness of the case, and the credibility of the witness, the BGE has given me a Certainty Percentage of 12.1%, which, as I understand it, is a pretty decent number. Anyway, it's my personal best!

But, as I said, I still have some investigatin' to do, so we could see that number creep up over the next week or two...

Friday, July 13, 2012

Entities and Bigfoots

So I now have two UFO sightings to investigate, Cases #XXXXX and #XXXXX, and with any luck I will be able to begin both investigations within the next few days. I have been in contact with one of the witnesses, and hope to interview her in person next week. I have not made contact with the second witness yet, but if he checks his voice mail regularly he'll know I want to talk to him, and soon.

As exciting as that is, I still can't help wondering about the ones that got away... namely, the Close Encounter of the Fourth Kind involving creatures who "toyed with" a deer hunter in his hunting stand in Waushara County late last year, and the more recent and more local case that involves that loveable old hairy biped himself, Bigfoot, who apparently lives right here in my home county!

Luckily, now that I have complete access to MUFON's Case Management System (CMS), I can read up on those other investigations to see what my fellow MUFON Certified Field Investigators have uncovered...

The deer hunter case, as fun as it sounds, seems to lead up a blind alley. On the primary data form, the witness only gives his first name, Cxxxx, and the only narrative testimony consists of the simple statement: "They were life forms that trapped me in my deer hunting stand and toyed with me." The only other information on the form indicates that an object was sighted, and that it reflected light, made a noise and affected the witness physically.

Pretty slim pickings... But wait! Surely there's more information on Form 7, the "Entity Form." I click on Form 7 and find... nothing. No description of any sort. Cxxxx did not bother to fill in the check marks indicating the number of eyes, noses, mouths and ears the life forms possessed, nor did he indicate whether the eyes glowed.

God, I love MUFON Investigation Forms. How many forms do you get to fill out in life that seriously ask you to indicate how many eyes, ears, mouths and noses your new friend has? Not to mention whether the eyes glowed?

Anyway, an email was sent to Cxxxx, and it seems to have gone unanswered. Lastly, the case was assigned to MUFON's S.T.A.R. Team, which could be a thrilling development, except for the fact that the hotshots have decided to sit this one out.


But what about Bigfoot? Surely he has generated a juicier case report than the toying life forms of Waushara County. Let's find out...

Upon opening the file I am immediately confused because Vxxxx, my State Director, told me that she was investigating this one, but the CMS entry lists this case as "Completed," and classified as an "IFO -- Natural Phenomenon." Hmmm...

Still, I need to know more, and the primary data form tells a pretty detailed story. The witness and his/her friend have been seeing a glowing orb hovering over a woodsy, marshy, duck pond-y area pretty much every Saturday night from 8 to 10 pm. Sometimes they watch it from a pickup truck, sometimes they stand outside and watch, and the only time they have tried to approach it, it has vanished. So, ok, it's a "natural phenomenon," according to the boss, but it also happens to have appeared in an area where the two witnesses have been looking for Bigfoot.

Maybe I'm too much of a stickler, but is it wrong of me to wonder why these two people have been looking for Bigfoot in this particular woodsy, marshy, duck pond-y area in Jefferson County, Wisconsin? Has Bigfoot been sighted here in the recent past? What information are they privvy to?

This is where it gets good. It turns out that the person who submitted the UFO report is part of a "Bigfoot Team." A Bigfoot Team. Right here in my own county.

My son Nxxx just asked "How did you not know about this? How did you not start this?" I was nonplussed. How could I have not known? It's embarrassing.

One of the defining characteristics of Bigfoot is that he has large feet, as illustrated here.
Anyway, the BT (Bigfoot Team) consists of three people -- possibly neighbors of mine, possibly my kids' teachers, possibly the guy who delivers my mail or the gal who cuts my hair or the guy who works on my car -- who regularly patrol this woodsy, etc., area somewhere within a few miles of where I'm sitting now. And what do they do there, besides mistake natural phenomenon for UFOs for hours at a time? They do what any Bigfoot Team would do: they take plaster castings of huge humanoid footprints they find in the soil, they make note of unnatural manipulation of tree branches, they set up remote surveillance cameras that never work when they want them to, and they leave out bananas.

They are also very secretive about their identities and the location of their hunting grounds, and are described as being "very protective" of Bigfoot, which would be touching if it wasn't so damned irritating and selfish. Protective of Bigfoot? Why, if that hairy beast wandered into town it could cause a panic. It might even hurt or kill someone. Protective of Bigfoot? What about the children?

I need to get in touch with these people, and I have an idea for how to do it: I could print up nice little signs that say "Psst: I have information about Bigfoot. Call me at 555-555-5555" (that's not my real number, so don't bother to call -- I would use my real number on the real signs), then leave the signs in the banana section of all the produce aisles of all the supermarkets in the county.

'Cause you know who's buying up all the bananas around here.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Kate Upton's UFO Encounter

Did the headline of my blog post catch your attention? According to Google, it should have.

I have no idea whether Kate Upton has ever seen a UFO. Until 30 seconds ago I had never heard of Kate Upton. But I was just reading about how I can dramatically increase readership of my blog if I start to drop "Google Hot Searches" into my blog posts, and there I found her. It just so happens that "Kate Upton" is the Top Google Hot Search topic for today, so I'm conducting an experiment to see if using her name in the title of today's post -- and lying about her UFO encounter -- will dramatically increase my readership.

It took me a pretty long time to find a picture of Kate Upton wearing both a top and a bottom.
I also plan on mentioning the other Google Hot Search topics of the day, like the All Star Game 2012, DirecTV, Rashard Lewis, Frank Ocean, Hope Solo and Justin Verlander, all of whom may or may not have had recent UFO encounters. Although I am a day or two late in doing so, I would also like to say this: Ernest Borgnine.

If you were looking for insightful writing about any of the above topics or personalities (or racey photos of Ms. Upton), I sincerely apologize. I was simply trying to suck you in, and apparently it worked.

If, in the future, you see odd names and phrases appearing randomly and inexplicably in this blog, you'll understand why. You may see it as an act of desperation, but I prefer to think of it as savvy marketing.

Also: Kourtney Kardashian, Higgs Boson, Roger Federer, Bachelorette, Usher. And, of course, UFO.

The late Ernest Borgnine, deceased, R.I.P.

Monday, July 9, 2012

They Can't Shoot Us All, Right?

Did you ever notice how good news always comes in twos? Me neither, but it did over the weekend. Not only do I now have two UFO sightings to investigate, I have two people signed up (besides me) for the Million Intruder March!

Yes, my daughter Cxxxx and her boyfriend Dxxxxx will be joining me in Rachel, NV, at 6 am on the morning of September 19, 2012, to storm the gates of Area 51 and reveal to the world all the UFO secrets that the US government has been hiding from us. (My wife says she's going to be there, too, but so far she has avoided signing up on Facebook...)

A picture of Area 51 taken from so high you can't be shot down by conventional weapons. Which part of the base will I have my kids secure?
This raises an interesting and important question. If much of the Million Intruder March is made up of loved ones, how will I decide who will lead the charge past the (heavily) armed guards? How will I decide who should secure various areas of the base, some of which may be massively radioactive?

If a million go in and only three or four come out, who (besides me) will they be?

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Hovering Orbs

Just my luck, the UFO sighting case involving the deer hunter being toyed with by alien beings in his deer stand is officially in limbo. Vxxxx, my State MUFON Director, wrote back to me to say that: "I actually had talked at length with a witness in (case number XXXXX) some time ago...he was supposed to contact me afterwards and didn't after several attempts.. So just go ahead with (case number XXXXX)"

Notice she's not saying I can't have the deer hunter case... just that it's on hold and that I should go ahead and initiate an investigation of the second case I had requested. Nothing wrong with that. Vxxxx has promised to go over her notes on the deer hunter case, and I have requested that she share them with me, so we may still work somrthing out in the future. I am still puzzled by MUFON's lackadaisical response to a report of a Close Encounter of the Fourth Kind right here in our back yard, but I suspect that the case may have a bit of a crackpot feel to it, and MUFON may not want to be associated with that. I, of course, don't care.

Meanwhile, I have a case to investigate: an educator and her son were both out on the balcony of their apartment this past March and both witnessed two orbs with pulsating lights floating above some nearby trees. The objects were visible for several minutes, during which they both performed some interesting aeronautical acrobatics and then flew away at dizzying speeds.

Typical "Orbs." Is this what was seen over the skies in Janesville, WI?
 There is one small problem with the report as it stands. The report states that the sighting took place in the city of Janesville, which is in southern Wisconsin, but it also says that the sighting took place in Adams County, which is about 100 miles north. Is this simply a boo-boo made by the initial investigator, or does it represent some sort of reality shift or physical anomaly? Was Janesville actually in Adams County that night? I will not rest until I discover the truth.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Aliens in the Deer Stand

Holy crap, did I hit paydirt!

I've been getting impatient, waiting to be assigned another UFO sighting to investigate. So today, since I was on a letter-writing tear anyway, I wrote to my Wisconsin State Director to ask for another assignment. Maybe I begged a little, I don't know, but whatever I did, it worked. Vxxxx just wrote back to me with a truly amazing offer:

"Marc (sic) - you can go in and any one that is assigned to me other than the bigfoot one I have with Kxxx you can have - just let me know the number and I'll go in and transfer it.,  Thank you so much!"

I'm ecstatic! But I'm also pissed! I don't get the Bigfoot case???? It's right in my freaking County and I don't get the Bigfoot case????

Oh well. Hollering about isn't going to change anything. Let Vxxxx keep the Bigfoot case; he's in my county so there's no reason I can't go cruising for Bigfoot on my own time, anytime I want, without having to ask anyone's permission.

Apparently Bigfoot has been sighted in my County in Wisconsin, and nobody knows about it. Why has there been nothing in the local paper? Wake up, people!

In the meantime, a quick survey of the cases that Vxxxx has offered up to me reveals some tantalizing choices...

For starters, there's the recent sighting report from a city not far from here that begins, "My son and I observed two strange crafts hovering to the northwest, objects hovered and then one took a a path change with amazing speed..."

That's tempting (multiple witnesses!), but then there's this: "They were life forms that trapped me in my deer hunting stand and toyed with me."

Hell-o! Life forms that trapped a deer hunter in his stand and toyed with him? How can I pass that up? How is it that this case hasn't received national headlines? It's a flipping CE4!!! A Close Encounter of the Fourth Kind! That's called an "Abduction," kids, and cases don't get any juicier than that. Not only that, but the irony of the hunter becoming the hunted... the toyer-with becoming the toyed-with... it's just too rich.

I must investigate this case.

I must investigate both of them, in fact. I've got a feeling about these cases. I've got a feeling...

Additional Training

When I was notified on May 7th that I had passed the MUFON Certified Field Investigator Exam, I was told that: "There will be additional training in ethics, investigation platforms, Mufon’s Case Management System (CMS), and other subjects to complete your very basic training in the field investigation.  Learning will continue to e (sic) a necessary component of your relationship with Mufon as long as you maintain your association with us."

It's been two months now and I still have not heard one word about my "additional training." This is disappointing, because I'm all about the learning. Also, I'm curious to know what the "other subjects" are...

Witness a typical MUFON training seminar, in which newly-minted UFO Field Investigators receive "additional training" in "other subjects."

So today I wrote back to Mxxxx, the MUFON Field Investigator Administrator, and politely asked him when and how this training would take place. Seems to me that if learning will continue to be a necessary component of my relationship with MUFON, then MUFON had better get on the stick and start sending some training my way. I don't have all day, folks! 

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Gettin Higgy With It

As excited as I am by the news that the Higgs Boson has been discovered at last, I'm going to wait until I can see one with my own two eyes.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Mark Your Calendar

I'm back from vacation and I am sorry to say that not one item on my UFO wishlist came through while I was gone. Oh, we saw some dead cattle along the highway in Wyoming that could have been mutilated by aliens, but who wants to get close enough to a decomposing steer to find out if its testicles have been removed? Ugh. And although my State MUFON Director has not assigned me a new case, she has invited me to "link up" to her at linkedin.com. Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Sadder still, not one of you has signed up for my Million Intruder March, in which a million of us will storm the gates at Area 51, overwhelm the guards and expose the massive government UFO coverup to the world. Not even Richard Dolan, the UFO writer and researcher whose words inspired the idea for the MIM, has shown any interest in the event.

Of course, this could have something to do with the fact that I have not set a time or date for the event. Maybe all million of you are hanging back and waiting for more details, to see if you can fit it into your busy schedules.Well, hang back no more. I have just scheduled the Million Intruder March for Wednesday, September 19, 2012, at 6:00 am Pacific Time at the Little A'Le'Inn at Rachel, NV, and you can sign up to take part here on Facebook. Just go to the page, log on to your account, click on the "Join" button and you're good to go.

What will we find at Area 51? Aliens? With ray guns? Click here to be a part of the Million Intruder March!
Why Wednesday, September 19th? I wanted to schedule it on the anniversary of the UFO crash in Roswell, NM, but that's next week, and getting a million volunteers for that seemed like a tall order. And actually, I've got stuff next week myself. September 19, however, is the anniversary of the Barney & Betty Hill UFO abduction, which is just as splendid an anniversary in UFO world. What better way to honor the memories of the first UFO abductees in history than to stage a massive assault on the very place where the government is storing its fleet of UFOs? Also, when has anyone ever had anything to do on September 19th?

Now you may be wondering what the Little A'Le'Inn is, and why I would choose it as our launch pad for the MIM, as it were. Well, if you read this blog faithfully you would know that the Inn is ground zero for Area 51 adventurers.

You may also be wondering how the owners of the Inn feel about me inviting one million people to their property, and the answer to that is that they don't know yet. But they will. That is right up at the top of my To Do list for the Million Intruder March, and I will get to it soon. Will they object? Gee, I don't know. Will they object to selling a million Cokes in one day? Will they object to being able to retire on September 20th?