High Strangeness: UFO Dilemma

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

UFO Dilemma

I haven't even started to take the MUFON Field Investigator's Examination, and I'm already having fun. I had to fill out a form that asked for my "physical address," so I put down my full street address and then added "Earth," just to be sure. I expected them to ask for my non-physical address next, but they didn't, so I didn't tell them.

But now, on to the Examination. Questions 1, 2 and 3: done, done and done. Easy peasy.

Question 4: damn, I have to actually dig for this answer. What am I, made of time? They want to know who the person is who's in charge of the initial review of all case reports. I thought it was done by some ultra-massive megacomputer buried deep inside a mountain in Colorado, but apparently not.

Okay, done with questions 5, 6, 7 and 8 and I'm through the first 37 pages of the MUFON Field Investigator's Manual. Even though Question 6 is about MUFON's ultra-secret paramilitary STAR Team, I'm already getting bored. Because, as with most if not all questions, it concerns itself merely with the rational, functional aspects of the subject, not with any deeper meanings or philosophical underpinnings.

The STAR Team will report back to MUFON headquarters with an estimate of "the situation" (see below).

But wait, what's this? Question 9 has two correct answers! Is it a trick or is it a mistake? Has my UFO Field Investigator career ended before it's even begun? Damn you, MUFON.

They're asking about the Vallee Classification System, and whether it is a set of definitions that builds upon Close Encounters categories, OR includes classification according to the apparent behavior of the object. Both answers are true, and every time I move my hand to circle one answer my mind rebels and I find myself paralyzed by my dilemma.

My solution? I'm feeling a little Captain Kirk today, so I'm circling both answers.

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