High Strangeness: St. Elmo's Fire

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

St. Elmo's Fire

I am finished!

Well, not really finished, completely, but close enough. I have completed my first pass at the MUFON Field Investigator's Examination, and I have answered 86 out of 100 questions.

Why, you may ask, did I leave 14 questions unanswered? Maybe because I do not at this moment feel like looking up what year the "famous Kelly-Hopkinsville encounter" took place. Maybe I don't think this is essential information.

Also, maybe I don't want to think about what "ball lightning is often erroneously referred to." Maybe it's often erroneously referred to as the Aurora Borealis, or St. Elmo's Fire, or even Kellogg's Pop Tarts, but tonight I do not give a fat, flying damn if it is.

I definitely don't give a rat's ass what kind of aircraft Captain Thomas Mantell was flying "when a UFO allegedly brought him down over Louisville, Kentucky." It happened in 1948, for God's sake!

Why do I have such a bad attitude? Maybe because after slogging through one of the silliest and most confounding examinations I have ever taken, I still don't feel any more prepared to run out and investigate a UFO sighting than I did before I started reading the MUFON Field Investigator's Manual and studying for the test.

Don't be fooled. This is not ball lightning.

Don't get me wrong. Part of me is tickled to death that MUFON wants me to know so much about so many ridiculous things. That shows that they have great faith in me, and I like that. It also shows that they don't mind wasting my time, and I don't like that so much.

It also shows that maybe MUFON doesn't really know what a Field Investigator needs to know, so they're throwing in everything but the kitchen sink, and that really worries me.

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