High Strangeness: Remain Calm

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Remain Calm

Now that I am expecting to encounter more and more UFOs, it occurred to me that I should revisit MUFON's website and read the article entitled "Ten Things You Should Do If You Encounter a UFO." The article bears a 1994 copyright date, so I am immediately suspicious. Is the list really that good that it has not merited an update in 17 years? I would have thought that in that amount of time there would have been huge advancements made in both strategy and technology...

I had originally thought that I could write one full blog post for each of the ten tips, thinking that each one would be a wondrous gem of UFOlogical wisdom and insight that I could unwrap slowly and meaningfully for my readers' enjoyment and enlightenment. In reality, the list is shockingly brief and basic, and so obvious that my wife, daughter and I followed nearly all of the tips when we had our encounter with the unknown without even knowing of their existence.

The Number One thing you should do when you encounter a UFO is to REMAIN CALM! (We did)
Number 2: Be objective (We were)
Number 3: Record the event with a camera or camcorder (Fail)
Number 4: Verbally record your experience as it happens into a nearby tape recorder (Fail)
#5: Ask other witnesses to record their experiences, separately (Above and beyond)
#6: Secure and preserve the UFO landing site as though it were a crime scene (I wish)
#7: Compare the size of the object to a common item, such as a coin or an aspirin tablet (1994, remember?)
#8: Estimate the object's distance from you, its altitude and velocity (Gave it our best shot)
#9: If you encounter an extraterrestrial being, hide (They have to tell people this?)
#10: Immediately report your sighting to a reputable UFO investigator (Me)

Does this document really need to exist? I'm not altogether sure, but since it does exist, why not make it relevant to a 2011 UFO sightee? And who better to tackle that task than an untainted, up-and-coming eager beaver UFO Field Investigator-to-be? I agree. In the coming days and weeks I'll be working on an updated list, and when it's ready I'm going to submit it to the powers that be at MUFON.

Will I throw out everything? Probably not. I am partial to Tip #1. I can't think of a single time in all my years when remaining calm has ever failed me. Besides, as the author of this article points out, you will want to remember every detail of your encounter with a UFO, "and you can't do that if you are hysterical."

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