High Strangeness: 2011

Thursday, December 29, 2011

It's Just a Drone, People! -- Part II

I'm not sure if I can believe my eyes... I keep looking at the two pictures I just posted ("It's Just a Drone, People!" 12/29/2011), and I'm kind of freaked out.

Look at the pics again. The first was taken of the drone-hauling truck on December 12, as it passed through Cowley County, KS. The second was allegedly taken on December 20, as that same drone-hauling truck was approaching its drop-off point at Patuxent River Navy Air Station in Maryland.

At first, every thing looks exactly the same between the two pictures: same truck, same cargo. But if you take another look, you see that the "drone" in the second picture is about 4 feet shorter than the "drone" in the first pic...


In the top pic, the top of the "drone" is easily 4 feet higher then the roof of the truck, just about matching the height of the truck's vertical exhausts. When it arrives in Maryland, however, in the bottom pic, the top of the "drone" just barely comes up to the roof of the cab!

They switched cargoes on us! 

It's Just a Drone, People!

I wasn't going to write about this, because it seemed to have been overexposed last week, but there's something so goofy about it that I can't resist...

On December 12th, residents of Cowley County, Kansas, were surprised to see a large semi-truck hauling a 32-foot wide saucer down Route 77. For obvious reasons, the locals were quick to suspect that a real live UFO was being hauled right down their main drag...

Captured UFO being hauled through Cowley County, Kansas, on December 12, 2011.

Not to worry. Before widespread panic could take hold, the citizens of Cowley County were assured by a "PR man" that the mystery saucer was an "experimental drone" built by Northrup Grumman, and that it was being transported "to Maryland." Apparently, that settled things, and the good people of Cowley County went back about their business.

So just now I was looking at a Google Map of the route from Cowley County, KS, to Maryland, and it made me wonder why we haven't seen any news reports or YouTubes or photos of the strange drone-hauling truck as it passed through St. Louis or Indianapolis or Pittsburgh...

Somehow the truck and its cargo managed to slip through those fine cities without being noticed, for it turns out that the "X-47B," a killer drone designed to launch from the deck on an aircraft carrier, was reportedly safely delivered to the Patuxent River Naval Air Station in Maryland on December 21st, where it will undergo testing in the spring of 2012. At least that's what the "PR man" says.

The X-47B "Killer Drone" supposedly being delivered to Patuxent River Naval Air Station in Maryland on December 20, 2011. Who delivers killer drones in the middle of the night?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

E.T. Phones Me

I had a good Christmas this year, and was reminded once again what a wonderful family I have. I never expected it, but my wife and kids all took a decidedly otherworldly approach to their gift-giving this year, which I take as an indication that they have all decided to stop worrying about my blogging and join in the fun.

First of all, my three younger kids Cxxxx, Cxxxxx and Dxxxxx wrote, designed and printed new business cards for me to use in my UFO investigations:

I love the use of color, space and dimension, and the great little zingers sprinkled here and there in the copy. When I start passing these out at the scene of a UFO sighting, the local sheriff and Air Force officials will know who's in charge real fast.

Next up, my oldest, Nxxx, gave me a truly brilliant poster that shows a visual representation of the gravity wells of the Earth and every body in our solar system (not to mention our galaxy and local group). I never knew that one could escape the gravitational pull of the Martian moon Deimos by riding ones bike off a ramp, but I know now, thanks to a brilliant website called http://xkcd.com/ (look for comic #681). This poster will be invaluable as I try to determine the launching points of the UFOs I investigate.

Last but not least, my wife Mxxxxx gave me a spectacular 8" Orion Dobsonian reflector telescope that is almost as big as me. This is something I have been wanting for years, but on which I could never convince myself to take the plunge... Thank you, thank you, Mxxxxx, for taking the plunge for me!

We set the scope up on the backyard patio Christmas night and spent an hour out in the cold observing Jupiter and five of its moons, Orion's nebula, and Sirius the Dog Star, the most brilliant objects in the sky at that hour. There was something comically magical about the kids running outside over and over again into the 30 degree night in pajamas and bare feet to look through the telescope at each new object Mxxxxx and I found. It was a beautiful way to end the day, and, as a completely unexpected bonus, I learned that my son Nxxx's girlfriend Sxxxxxx is an astronomy buff, and has always wanted a telescope as well!

There will be lots of late nights in the backyard with this baby...

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year, everyone!

Friday, December 23, 2011


There was an interesting bit of news out of NASA recently to which, I confess, I did not pay close enough attention. On December 5th, the Agency announced the startling discovery of "Kepler-22b," the first extra-solar superearth-type planet orbiting in the habitable zone around a sun-like star.

What does this mean to you? Aliens. Aliens who look just like us. Aliens who look just like us and are perhaps bent on galactic conquest.

It is a well-known fact in science-fiction that when aliens who live on an earth-like planet deplete, pollute, outgrow or ransack their own world, they head straight out into space looking for an earth-like-like planet to colonize. If there are only two such planets in all the universe and ours is the one that hasn't been destroyed, that puts us on the short list.

But, what, you may ask, is a "superearth?" It's a planet that is earth-like, but has much greater mass than our own earth. In the case of Kepler-22b, as much as 35 times the mass of our planet. As you can see in this handy chart, Kepler-22b is indeed a plus-size planet, and so its inhabitants will most likely be up to 35 times larger than us. I don't have any sound science to back this up, but it's a funny idea.

Kepler 22b. It's awfully big.
What's that you say? Wouldn't Kepler-22b's gravity be 35 times greater than our own, and wouldn't that make its inhabitants 35 times smaller than us? Well, okay, maybe you're right and I'm wrong, but it's my blog.

Anyway, should we be worried? In a word, no. First of all, we have no way of knowing if the Keplerites or Kepleronionas or 22beings are aware of the existence of our planet. Second, even if they are, we have no way of knowing whether they are capable of interstellar travel. They are, after all, about 600 light years away from us.

It seems to me that the prudent approach to this news is to begin our own colonization of Kepler-22b. It's got lots of room, but I think that that would be counteracted in time, as future generations of earth colonists would undoubtedly grown to 35 times our current size. Again, no actual science here, but as I said, it's my blog.

But you know exactly what would happen: our fleet of space arks would meet up with their fleet of space arks halfway between earth and Kepler-22b, and we'd all look pretty silly then.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Jung at Heart

I've always been interested in the work of Carl Jung (1875-1961), in part because Jung was strangely interested in UFOs. It was part of his work with archetypes and the collective unconscious. He even wrote a book called "Flying Saucers: A Modern Myth of Things Seen In The Skies."

Jung saw the classic circular "flying saucer" as a modern manifestation of the mandala, the sacred circle of Hinduism and Buddhism, and a representation of wholeness and unity. When someone had an encounter with a UFO, Jung thought, he or she was really having an encounter with his or her own desire to be "whole."

I can buy that. I like thinking that UFOs are spaceships from distant galaxies, but it makes just as much sense to me that UFOs may be psychic representations of our most basic hopes and needs.

But here's what's bothering me: more and more I'm reading reports from people who have seen triangular UFOs... It's practically an epidemic.

Triangular UFO. What would Jung think?

If circular flying saucers represent wholeness and oneness, what do triangular UFOs represent? Any guesses?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Aliens and Bears

I have written here before about my Uncle Bxx and his experiences at Area 51 ("Area 51 Decoded," 9/18/2011). Well, my Dad recently sent Uncle Bxx a copy of my UFO article in the January issue of "Milwaukee Magazine," and my Uncle was so moved by the article that he emailed me again to add one more interesting twist to his story.

In his email to me, Uncle Bxx said, "(I) have driven near, and flown over a number of times the area where the Roswell incident took place, other than the fact there is a sign in the shape of a bear, along the highway, where the historical  'Smokey Bear' was found during a forest fire, there is not much else to see.  But of course the bullet holes in 'Smokey' might be the result of an alien attack."

I know snark when I read it, I just didn't know my Uncle was so good at it. 

I found two pictures of Smokey's birthplace, and I include them both here. When I took a look at the actual signs I realized that he may be on to something... The signs are both wrecks! Bullet holes? Try death ray burns.

The official story is that Smokey was found badly burned after a massive forest fire in the hills near Roswell, alive but apparently orphaned. This took place in 1950, just three years after the Rowell UFO crash, but the sign seems to have been written by the same crack PR team that was put in charge of the UFO crash cover-up: "It was hot and dry when somebody traveling along Capitan Gap Road flipped a lighted cigarette or burning match into the forest, and, aided by strong winds, the fire roared out of control!" 
Aside from the fact that this sounds as though it was written for "The Big Book of Forest Fires," it offers an explanation that is just a little too dumb for me. Who was this "someone?" Was it a match or a cigarette? Where did these "strong winds" come from? 
I can explain that forest fire in three-and-a-half words: "Alien Clean-up Crew." Then I would add five more words: "arriving three years too late."

Dashing Through the Martian Snow

Last night my wife and I were pretty worn out from two intense days of Christmas shopping, but as we were getting dinner ready, I got a tweet from AsteroidWatch that brought a welcome dose of holiday wonder to us both...

Now, normally AsteroidWatch is not a beacon of jolly holiday news. The account is dedicated to the serious business of monitoring asteroids out in space and sending out timely tweets to its 820,343 faithful followers when one of those asteroids is on a collision course with earth. We fortunate 820,343 earthlings, forewarned of the end of the world, would then have x number of days to pack up our space ark and escape the planet. That's right, the ark is already built, sitting in a secret underground base and waiting for us to load up the pigs and chickens when the alert goes out...

But I've already said too much; I promise to notify you when you can apply for your seat on the ark.

Anyway, it came as a bit of a surprise when the Debbie Downers at Asteroid Watch sent out a link to this lovely Christmas video posted by NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, entitled "Sleigh Ride Over Mars."  Just watch it; you won't be disappointed.

Of course, this isn't the first time Christmas and Mars have crossed paths. The first time it happened, it wasn't pretty...

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Strange Goings On In The Gulf of Guinea

When one studies unexplained phenomenon, one develops a heightened awareness of patterns that suddenly occur within otherwise random data.

Take this weekend, for example. The MUFON "UFO Stalker" Twitter alert has been hyperactive for the past couple days, sending out multiple tweets every hour or so all day. That's not so odd in and of itself, but none of the tweets contain any text. Seemed kind of weird to me, so tonight I decided to click the links on the tweets to see what all these sighting reports were about... Turns out every last one of these dozens and dozens of tweets I've been receiving links to the same spot on the UFO Stalker map, and it's in the middle of the Gulf of Guinea off the west coast of Africa.

Each tweet shows up with a different MUFON case file number, but with absolutely no description of what was supposed to have been reported. So far no message from MUFON about any problems with their twitter feed, so either they are unaware or they are hoping no one would notice.

What is going on in the Gulf of Guinea? Here's a clue: I have found a reference to a strange sighting made from the steamship Fort Salisbury as it was sailing across the Gulf of Guinea in October, 1902. The lookout and the second officer saw a dark object that was at least 500 feet long, with lights at both ends, make a commotion in the calm sea and then submerge. Technically, this makes it an unidentified sinking object, but two out of three ain't bad.

The Fort Salisbury: does this ancient steamship hold the key to this weekend's MUFON twitter mystery?

Until MUFON can provide some explanation as to why the same thing keeps getting reported over and over and over, I will have to proceed with caution. Something is amiss, but who's messing with who?

Friday, December 16, 2011

Cindy Lou Who? Part Two

Yesterday when I drew a comparison between a recently reported UFO encounter with a moment from the animated Christmas classic "Dr. Suess' How The Grinch Stole Christmas," my good friend Jxxx wrote to say that I had drawn the wrong conclusion... Cindy Lou Who, he insisted, is the real alien, because she wears a jumpsuit and sports a pair of odd, never-explained antennae...

Cindy Lou Who, alien.

Jxxx pointed out that aliens can have alien encounters themselves, and I had to admit that I was stunned by his logic and that he was absolutely right.

As I was wrapping my head around that little paradigm shift, I got another email from Jxxx. He's been following along with my explorations of the many vintage UFO sightings from 20 to 50 years ago all coming to light at the same time, and he said in his email that he wants to jump on the bandwagon.

It turns out that Jxxx and his sister saw something in the early 1970s that they have never forgotten... With his permission, I am posting his account here. I should mention that Jxxx is a visual artist and has scary powers of observation -- he doesn't miss a thing.

"About 40 years ago my sister and I were playing in the yard on a clear summer day. I remember running and laughing and kicking a ball around. I was 9 or 10; she would have been 11 or 12. I remember sprinting the length of the yard to catch up with the ball before it went into the street. Walking back toward the yard I noticed something over the neighbors house. It didn't register as anything much at first but I got a chill when I realized that it wasn't a bird or a plane.

"Textbook as it sounds,  the thing was shaped like a cigar or a flattened saucer. It was grey/silver and it was just sort of hanging there at a funny angle. I pointed it out to my sister and we both watched it. Because we were always joking around, the most memorable aspect of this event was how serious we were, and how pant-pissing scared we were. We repeatedly looked at one another for confirmation, saying 'you're seeing this, right?' and 'oh my god, UFOs are real.' I can still remember the feeling in my body of the realization that it was REAL. I felt panicky. I strained to see wings, a tail, a contrail, something that would explain it.

"It's hard to estimate how long we stood there watching it--I'd say 60 seconds--when the object began to move very slowly and change, first becoming lighter in color, then looking like a plane. We agreed that it was a plane taking off. This strikes me as odd, but we stopped watching it. We were both relieved to have an explanation and laid down in the grass (collapsed, really.) We stayed there for quite a while, talking about it and laughing at how scared we were.

"We've talked about our sighting over the years, and the only part of the incident that we now question is our conclusion that it was a plane. It just doesn't stand up:

"- The only airport in the vicinity was a tiny municipal strip. If what we saw was a plane, only a commercial passenger jet or a big cargo plane would conform to the size and shape. The airstrip only serviced small prop engine planes.

"- The object we saw was at roughly a 45 degree angle to the ground. If it was a plane, it would have to be taking off from an airstrip directly beneath it. An impossibly steep takeoff... nevermind that the local airstrip was three miles away, to our backs as we faced the object.
"- We lived at the same address for 16 years and played in the yard almost daily. If that was a plane taking off, it only happened once."

Thank you, Jxxx, for sharing your amazing story. Daytime sightings like this always impress, and this story is a stunner. I'm particularly taken by the way the object took on the appearance of a plane only after Jxxx and his sister watched it for 60 seconds... What changed at that moment: the object itself, or the perceptions of the witnesses?

I'm going to look into this some more with Jxxx, but for the time being I can only classify this case as: UNSOLVED.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Bong Bong Bong

How's this for a tale of inept government bureaucrats wasting taxpayers' dollars?

The U.S. Air Force decides to build a massive base to house two fighter-interceptor squadrons in the upper Midwest, pours millions of dollars into the construction of that base, and then, just when the base is finished, decides it's redundant and walks away. This is the sad tale of Richard Bong Air Force Base, and it really happened that way back in 1960, right here in southern Wisconsin. The U.S. Air Force actually closed a base before it opened, and basically invited the Russkies to nuke Milwaukee first.

This B-47 Stratojet might have flown missions out of Richard Bong Air Force Base; maybe it does and we don't know it.
I bring this up because of my talk last night with the Super-Terrific Wisconsin State MUFON Director and her equally Super-Terrific husband ("Straight To The Top," 12/14/2011). At one point in the conversation, Vxxxx asked if the two UFOs witnessed on the night of October 29th during the Haunted Woods Tour had come from the direction of the Bong Recreation Area. Now, I should explain that since that dark day in 1960 when the Air Force Base was unceremoniously scrapped, the site has been turned into a State Recreation Area. You may question the wisdom of the State DNR dubbing an isolated 4,500-acre stretch of nowhere "Bong Recreation Area," but I question the wisdom of parents who would name their child "Richard Bong" in the first place. In any case, you do remember the name.

But back to Vxxxx's question. At the time she asked me, I couldn't say whether the two UFOs had come from Bong, but it certainly made sense that they might have come from Bong. Well, today I checked Google Maps looking for Bong and found that, sure enough, the UFOs actually did come from roughly the direction of Bong, and that Bong is only ten miles from the site of the Burlington Vortex, where we sighted the UFOs. Did you follow that? I was just trying to see how many times I could use the word "Bong" before it stopped being funny. I don't think I'm there yet.

Back to Vxxxx's question yet again. I didn't know what she was getting at at first, but eventually it became clear. What if the Air Force only wanted us to think that they had closed the base back in 1960? What better way to build a secret base than to build it out in the open, decide you don't need it, then keep operating it under the radar once everyone thinks you've abandoned it? What if the UFOs we saw that night were actually experimental aircraft, or captured UFOs, operating secretly out of Bong? I have to admit, I like the way Vxxxx thinks.

While I was trying to wrap my brain around Vxxxx's ingenious line of inquiry, her husband Cxxxx hit me with another mind-bender. I recounted yesterday how Cxxxx kept asking me if anyone who sighted the UFO's that night had any infrared, ultraviolet or night-vision cameras on their persons. His reason for asking turned out to be just as ingenious as Vxxxx's secret base idea: What if, Cxxxx speculated, the objects we saw were giving out light in the visible spectrum, but then switched over to a part of the spectrum invisible to the human eye just as they flew over us? That would explain why both UFOs seemed to just blink out of existence overhead. They weren't falling into a wormhole; they were shifting to UV or IR!

See why I love these two? That is some radical stuff coming out of the mouths of a couple of snowbirds piloting their RV down the Pacific Coast Highway. I am in awe.

And, oh yeah: Bong.

Cindy Lou Who?

Don't know why, but I have become fascinated by these vintage UFO sighting reports that have been flooding into MUFON central the past few months. I am not any closer to figuring out why so many hundreds of people would spontaneously decide to report having seeing UFOs as far back as 50 years ago, but I think there's something interesting going on there...

Today I came across this report of a sighting entitled "Sighting when I was a kid," that took place in Maryland on June 1, 1980:

"Not real sure if it was a dream or it was real but it sure felt real and I have lived with it all my life. We owned a farm in Bxxxxxxxx County Md. on Rxxxxxx Rd. It was about 18 acres or so. The incident took place late at night not sure of the exact time but everyone was asleep in the house. All that I can remember is that it was a very clear night,with a few white puffy clouds.I was standing outside of the back of the house looking up dont remember even going outside of the house the memory starts with me looking up at i guess what some would call a cigar shaped craft."  

Nice setup... Lots of detail... Seems real, but dreamlike... I'm hooked, and anticipating what comes next:

"The craft was tipped to its side and a person was standing toward the front of the craft waving .I remember that person looking just like we do as far as human features and wearing a jump suit kind of clothing. The whole incident didn't last long at all and as he was waving the craft leveled up and just casually drifted away and as that craft left I looked up and seen high up in the sky several crafts going all kinds of speeds none were super fast they were all cruising different moderate speeds."

Another authentic touch: this took place back in the day when UFO occupants wore jumpsuits! They didn't show up naked and ready to party back in 1980 ("Alien Evolution," 11/27/2011), and I doubt very much that this person would have been aware of that.

Of course I like the fact that the waving alien seems to have known that this person would be standing outside the back of his or her house at just that moment, looking up... It all seems very benign, with perhaps just a hint of creepiness.

But what are we to make of the fact that this friendly, waving, human-like, jumpsuit-wearing alien is revealed to be part of an armada of huge ships passing by in the night sky? It's a jarring detail that makes me wonder what those aliens are really up to.

Little Cindy Lou Who, lulled into a false sense of security by an evil alien.
Perhaps because this is the Christmas season, this detail calls to mind the scene in the animated holiday special "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" when little Cindy Lou Who wakes up and catches the Grinch stuffing her family's Christmas tree up the chimney. She sweetly asks "Santa" what he's doing... the Grinch, caught in the act, tells Cindy Lou a nice little lie and sends her back to bed with a glass of water. She falls back asleep, thinking that everything is just right in Whoville. Strangely enough, that's exactly how things end for our UFO contactee:

"After that I just went in and went back to sleep. Its a dream that has stayed with me since I was child. I dont know how I got outside I wasn't scared or nothing like that .It actually was a very peaceful feeling .I think it happened in the summer because it was a very warm night out. I do remember going inside and just going to bed like nothing happened. It was a weird experience but a peaceful one." 

Uh-huh. That's exactly what Cindy Lou Who would have said. And we know how right she was.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Straight To the Top

Tonight I had the rare pleasure of having my latest UFO sighting investigated by the Wisconsin State MUFON Director herself. I don't know what I did to get my case kicked so far upstairs, but the air up there tastes just fine! MUFON didn't send any rookies or trainees to handle this case, no sir. And I can guess why. I'm pretty certain that the State Director sussed out what a juicy case this was going to be, and she wanted it to herself. Trust me: I've been in this UFO game long enough to know that that's how State Directors get to be National Directors, and how National Directors get to be International Directors. I've got no problems with that at all. As long as she takes me with her...

Now, on to the interview. Vxxxx, the State Director and soon-to-be National Director, if I have anything to say about it, was calling from the road; that's how dedicated she is! She and her husband, Cxxxx, are at this very moment savoring the sights of sunny California from their RV. But, knowing how explosive this sighting was, Vxxxx interrupted her sightseeing to talk to me for a full half-hour as Cxxxx manned the wheel of the RV.

I was immediately impressed when Vxxx told me that she had already watched my video of the sighting; clearly, her investigation had begun long before we spoke this evening...

A camera flash illuminates a tree branch as a Burlington Vortex UFO shines brightly in the center of the photo.

 Slowly, haltingly, I gave Vxxxx the intel on the sighting, including as much factual detail as I could, and she started asking me the usual questions: Did any of the witnesses suffer any ill effects? Did the animals in the woods show any signs of disturbance? Did the UFOs leave behind any physical evidence? If Vxxxx was disappointed that my answer to pretty much all of her questions was "no," she didn't show it. She knew the truth was out there somewhere, and she wasn't going to let a few negative responses slow her down.

Then Vxxxx and Cxxxx pulled a switcheroo on me. Without warning, Cxxxx started to pepper me with questions:

Cxxxx: Did anyone in the group have an ultraviolet camera with them?
Me: Mmmm, no.

Cxxxx: Did anyone in the group have an infrared camera with them?
Me: Errr, no.

Cxxxx: Did anyone in the group have a night vision camera with them?
Me: You know, I never thought to ask.

Cxxxx seemed a bit let down, so I tried to explain to him that this was a group of 30 or so very silly people out in the woods late at night looking for spirits and ectoplasm, and that as far as I could tell no one on the Haunted Woods Tour that night was actually a part of any black ops team. I even had to admit shamefully that I hadn't even had my Flip video camera on a tripod... For some reason this seemed to be an important detail.

Yes, this cracker jack wife and husband team elevated the good UFO field investigator/bad UFO field investigator ploy to an art form. I never knew what hit me. Are you paying attention, MUFON Board of Directors?

The investigation wound down as the sun set was setting on Vxxxx's and Cxxxx's RV, and soon it was time for my interrogators to say goodbye. But this won't be the last time I meet up with them. I have a feeling that someday soon Vxxxx and Cxxxx are going to drive that RV of theirs up the steps of MUFON headquarters in Greeley, CO and show those folks a thing or two about how a UFO research organization ought to be run!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Married To An Alien!

No, I am not married to an alien (even though I have speculated here in the past that my wife could be a human-alien hybrid by virtue of her smashing good looks and flawless fashion sense). Nor am I promoting human-alien marriages, although if a human and alien could only truly be happy married to each other, why would I object to that? I mean, who wouldn't want to be invited to that wedding?

I only bring up the topic of human-alien marriage because it came up at the Burlington Vortex Conference two months ago, and I think it's something that people should know about.

As I have chronicled here at High Strangeness, I heard a great many wondrous and astounding stories at the Vortex Conference, and I have marveled at the fact that these astounding stories are bandied about at a UFO conference in such a casual, offhand manner that one soon accepts it as all quite normal.

But here's the thing: it's not. When you hear a guy stating in complete sincerity that his son's new wife fled to the US from Brazil because she discovered her first husband was an alien, and that aliens have been chasing her ever since to try to silence her, and when the people listening to that story nod knowingly as though every family had such problems, it's hard to accept that any of it is even remotely normal.

I would have loved to have heard more, but that would have meant engaging the guy in conversation, and I knew I wasn't ready for that. So I'm left with questions. How do you divorce an alien? Was the marriage even legal in the first place? Why would the aliens care what she might say to anyone? Couldn't they guess that the story would only be told at places like the Burlington Vortex Conference?

On a related note, I have finally secured the contact list for the people who were on the Haunted Woods Tour at the Conference, and who witnessed the two UFOs that flew towards us and disappeared into the night sky... It should be interesting to hear what people remember of that incident, and how they remember it. Stay tuned...

Friday, December 9, 2011

It's Never Enough

I was reminded today of an interesting phenomenon I observed at the Burlington Vortex Conference when I paid a return visit to the friendly Sci-Fi Cafe in Burlington. I stopped in to get a list of the people who had been on the Haunted Woods Tour with me and had seen the two UFOs that night, in the hopes that I could persuade them all to file sighting reports to MUFON.

Mxxx was as friendly as ever, and as she copied off the list she told me about an exciting discovery she had made in one of her photos of the UFOs we saw that night. The photo itself simply shows a brilliantly burning orange light in a field of black sky, but someone had noticed a light spot in the photo, so Mxxx had brightened up the image to see what was there...

Right about here in her story I was reminded of the phenomenon I had observed back in October. I have tried to describe in earlier posts the magical energy that filled the clearing as the entire group watched those two UFOs approach us and then disappear ("Thank You, Mr, UFO," 10/31/2011), but I have never described what came next.

For me, the sighting was the perfect capper to an extremely strange and surreal day. We had gone from the ridiculous to the sublime, and I was more than happy to hike out of the woods in silent reflection over what had just occurred. But for many in the group, the UFO sighting was just a warm-up. Moments after we all shared our few minutes of awe and mystery, a man in a blue hoodie sat down on some rocks in the heart of the Vortex and started vibrating strangely and mumbling gibberish. His wife shushed everyone in the group and explained that her husband was channeling spirits and that we all had to keep quiet... It seemed as though an American Indian spirit was trying to communicate through him, but alas, the message never quite got through.

The vibrating and mumbling stopped moments later when the Vortex kicked into action, and we were told that the dimensional shifts had started. Soon after that I was taken aside and given the disturbing apocalyptic warning of the coming cosmic war between good and evil ("The Bad Stuff," 11/2/2011), and eventually we all walked back out of the woods to constant shouts about ectoplasm sightings and satyr appearances. The UFOs had been all but forgotten, pushed out of our consciousnesses by an unending barrage of more and more comical strangeness. And I wondered why the UFO sighting wasn't enough for so many people in the group, as it was for me.

Back to today... Mxxx showed me her lightened photograph, and there, next to the UFO, was a formation of concentric circular lines floating in the night sky. Before I could guess what it was, Mxxx informed me that it was a wormhole! The first ever wormhole caught on camera, no less. And this explained why the two UFOs disappeared from the sky that night: they entered the wormhole, and were instantly transported across the galaxy, presumably to their home planet.

I admit, part of me thinks Mxxx is flipping brilliant for coming up with yet another spectacular twist to the night's adventures. But another part of me wonders why the two UFOs, on their own, still aren't enough...

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Like It Was In Trouble

Normally, I would be eating dinner right about now, but my daughter Cxxxx is in the kitchen with her friends Fxxxx and Axxxxxx making Christmas cookies, so dinner isn't going to happen for a while... Why not keep blogging, especially since I have all these new visitors from Flakphoto.com

Christmas cookies

I recently blogged about the curious fact that MUFON has been deluged with reports of UFO sightings from 1960 to 1990 ("Total Recall," 12/1/2011), and they can't explain why all these people are just now reporting sightings and encounters that took place so long ago. I think this is worth looking into. I had intended to go looking for some of these reports, to see what I could discover, and then one was Tweeted to me, and it was so poignant that I had to comment on it.

This event took place on September 22, 1986, in Jasper, Georgia, and it involves an 11 year-old kid. What's amazing, and even touching, is how this person, 25 years later, still relates the events on such an emotional level...

"I was 11 years old in the bed fixing to get up to go to school. My mom woke me up all upset saying she dreamed of a tornado. She woke up and looked outside and saw a UFO. She said it was low on the ground making a beeping noise like it was in trouble and changed colors. Suddenly it took off. I laughed at her and said, "yeah right". I got up and looked out the window. It was back! I saw it too! My body was in complete shock and couldn't move. I saw that it was about 3 feet hovering above the ground, and it looked like a triangular shape. It was a solid white color for a few seconds. It didn't make a noise when I saw it. It was next to our big tree and mail box about 3 feet above ground on our dirt/gravel road (back then it was very remote). Then it changed colors from white to red or red to white and took off and dissappeared within a second!"

I love it when people are "fixin'" to do things, instead of actually just doing them. It's such a luxury to have that indefinite intermediate step between deciding to so something and then doing something. It seems like you can put off doing something forever if you're always "fixin'" to do it, but apparently only people in the South get this extra step.

But I digress. The kid did get up, but not to go to school. What kind of a special day is it when your mom wakes you up to see a UFO in the yard? Especially a UFO that's beeping "like it was in trouble?" You get the feeling that the kid's about to tug on mom's sleeve and say, "It's hurt! Can we keep it, ma? Can we?"

Then the report continues, and you begin to fully appreciate this kid's mettle :

"I got the courage to go outside to try and find evidence. I couldn't find anything and went back in the house. I know it had to be something (either something from the government, a real UFO, time travelers, or who knows). I still think about it till this day. I'm 100% sure it wasn't an airplane, and I didn't see this in the air. Also this UFO was not that big and could almost fit in my dining room. I didn't hear a sound with it which doesn't make sense because it should have broken the sound barrier when it disappeared. Till this day, I have never seen a UFO since then, and I still think about it. Also why did it come back when mom said it left? I feel that it wanted me to see it. I really want answers."

What a great kid! Can you doubt this story for one second? Sure, there are inconsistencies -- Did it change from red to white or white to red? Did it beep or was it silent? After 25 years, I'm not so sure it matters. All I know is, I'm fixin' to eat some Christmas cookies and give this some more thought...

It's All About the Links

What a great day I had today. I was meeting my friend, Best Man and blogging mentor Axxx for lunch, but when I got to the restaurant I bumped into my old friend Lxxxxx. Lxxxxx and I used to work together for a rather dysfunctional employer, and she was one of those "sane friend in an insane workplace" friends who get you through so much. We hugged and the first thing she said to me was, "I've been reading your blog and laughing my ass off!" Which was pretty much the nicest thing she could have said to me.

Then I lunched with Axxx, and he was nice enough to give me a few suggestions for the blog, one of which was to share links with people to attract new readers. So, in that spirit, I'd like to share a link to Axxx's wonderful photo blog, FlakPhoto. Now he will feel obliged to link to this blog, and I will inherit some of his millions of readers and he will inherit some of my dozens of readers. I like the way this works.

But that's not enough. Lxxxxx's kind words about my blog made me feel bad that I have yet to see her band perform, even though she's been inviting me to their shows for a couple years now. So, going with the theme, here is the link to The Full Watts' myspace page. You should listen to their music and go see them.

Andy also told me that he is always most interested in reading my blog when I've posted a photo, which gave me an idea...

Axxx does not know that I swiped this photo from FlakPhoto.com

Monday, December 5, 2011

Small Aliens

Since I've started getting Tweets from ufo_stalker on my smart phone, I feel pretty on top of the UFO world. Not a day goes by that I don't get at least a handful of UFO sighting reports tweeted to me, and I have to say there is something kind of novel and engaging about having mind-bending, life-changing encounters with otherworldly entities related in 140 characters or less.

There's no room for detail or nuance; a witness just has to go for maximum impact. Take this tweet, for instance: "Witness husband does not believe his own eyes but small a small entity." In any other medium, that statement is the windup to the pitch, but as a tweet it's the whole ball game. Astonishing. I wonder what else I might have learned if the tweeter hadn't felt the need to mention that the husband "does not believe his own eyes." That's 30 precious characters wasted right there, 30 characters that could have been used to... oh, I don't know, describe the small entity maybe.

Anyway, as a good UFO Field Investigator, I decided to follow up on the tweet by looking up the full sighting report at MUFON.com. It turns out that this case may have been better left as a tweet, because in its full form it almost had too much detail... There, on the UFO locator map, I discovered that this encounter had taken place on November 23rd of this year in Liberty, North Carolina. The full report starts out by saying that "The witness is husband to a lady that has had sightings, missing time, and found herself standing naked in her living room at 2 AM recently." Now, there are many reasons why one might find ones self standing naked in one's living room at 2 AM, not all of them having to do with UFOs. But, I thought the witness was the husband... Why is the wife inserting herself into the narrative in a state of undress? Why does she have to make this about her?

But the husband quickly reclaims center stage in the next sentence: "The husband saw what he described as a being about 4 feet tall with long hair. It was in the hallway for 2 seconds looking at him. Then it disappeared into a mist."

Why was the husband in the hallway? Didn't he know that his naked wife was standing in the living room? And why in this version of the story does the husband apparently believe his own eyes? Because I wouldn't have believed mine. Not for a second. It's not the being's small size that jars me, nor is it the being's ability to disappear into a mist, nor is it even the very idea that there could be a mist in one's hallway. It's the long hair that jars me. "Greys" don't have hair. Reptoids certainly don't have hair. So where does this little long-haired 4-footer fit in?

Whoever MUFON assigns to this case, I hope he or she separates the husband and wife and questions them separately. And I hope the wife is wearing something.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Hell on Earth

It's always interesting to me to look over my most popular postings, so I know what you, my readers, are responding to. This helps me tailor my content to your interests, and it tells me how weird you all are. For instance, these days you seem to be most interested in the nine circles of hell hidden away inside a mesa in New Mexico ("Dulce, New Mexico," 11/17/2011), and I find that somewhat disturbing.

Why do you like this? Why do you enjoy reading about this supposed subterranean human-alien genetic research station, home to 18,000 alien "greys," Reptoids and walking lab accidents? My whole point in blogging about it was to show you how silly the whole idea is, but it seems as though my plan has backfired.

You really want to know more about Dulce? Okay, let's start with a believeable little item about President Dwight D. Eisenhower. By all accounts he was a decent guy and a pretty good chief executive, but if that's true then how do you explain the treaty he entered into with the extraterrestrials? You read that right: the "Greada Treaty" signed by Eisenhower in 1954 gave certain alien races the right to abduct the occasional herd of cattle or human being for "research,"on the condition that the humans be returned unharmed. No word on what was to be done with the cattle, but surely an advanced race capable of interstellar travel must have truly superior barbequing skills. Anyway, according to the treaty, the aliens would share technology with us in exchange for their human/cattle abduction rights, and beyond that we generally agreed to be cool with each other. And that, apparently, was the start of the secret subterranean genetic research station in Dulce, New Mexico.

(And that bit about returning abducted humans unharmed? After what I've learned recently about the mental capacity of alien "greys," I think Eisenhower should have stipulated that the aliens return their abductees unharmed and to the right address.)

Then there's the thing about the 1979 "Firefight." Accounts vary, but my favorite version states that an alien "grey" living in the Dulce base was giving a presentation to a group of scientists when it spotted a human security guard wearing a sidearm. This security guard was the first human to learn why guards were not allowed to have weapons anywhere near a "grey." The alien went berserk and killed the guard instantly, then went on to kill about 60 human scientists and security guards using an unknown force. If true, this is a tragic, horrific story, and yet... and yet I can't help but smile warmly at the thought of an alien giving a presentation to a group of human scientists. Did a 1979-era alien use an overhead projector, or did it use a laptop with Microsoft Powerpoint that was being beta tested before being dropped through the open nursery window of infant Bill Gates? Did it use a wooden pointer or a futuristic laser pointer? And could one or both of those pointers have become a lethal weapon in the hands of that alien? What did it talk to the scientists about: advanced technology, or advanced barbequing? Did it provide coffee and donuts, or do "greys" have their own unique alien office treats?

Alas, we will never know, and really, we shouldn't want to know... Because that's the last I want to write about Dulce, New Mexico.

Send In the Reptoids

I have been avoiding writing about this for weeks, because, really, where can you go with it? Where can you go with reports of tall reptilian aliens called "Reptoids" that mean to do us harm? I try to ignore the reports, but they keep coming up everywhere I look; there's even a Wikipedia entry, for cripe's sake.

Apparently the Reptoids are demonic, blood-drinking, shape-shifting, underground-base-dwelling, human-race-enslaving monstrosities that conveniently combine just about every primal fear known to man in one neat, scaly package while simultaneously calling to mind a very silly 1970s tv series called "V" about evil reptilian aliens invading earth and enslaving the human race.

Wikipedia Reptoid (adult)

"V" Reptoid (infant)

Now it's true that in the entire history of human-alien encounters, there have been many different shapes and sizes of aliens reported, and it's true that some of those aliens have been described as "reptilian." It's also true that a lizard-like alien called the Gorn was one of Captain Kirk's most terrifying foes in "Star Trek."

"Star Trek" Reptoid (scary)
But to suggest -- insist, even, as some do -- that there is an actual known taxonomy of alien beings, an alien pyramid at the top of which rests a supremely intelligent, supremely evil race of reptilian-human hybrids, is an alien too far for me. You'll note that while I can easily find convincing photographic evidence of TV Reptoids from "V" and "Star Trek," I can only dig up a rather unconvincing "artist's representation" of a "real" Reptoid. What does that tell you?

One other thing: I'm pretty sure that if the Bible said that Satan appeared as a bunny rabbit to Adam and Eve, we would now be talking about "Rabbitoids" from space.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Hello Ukraine

It used to be that I could count on two things: the most pageviews of this blog would come from the United States, my homeland, and the second highest number of pageviews would come from Germany, where my daughter, Dxxxxx, lives. But suddenly Germany has been bumped down to #3, and I can't understand why.

Ukraine is now #2 more days than not, but I don't know a soul in Ukraine, and from what my Googling shows me, Ukraine is not exactly a hotbed of UFO activity. But this is the odd thing: my same daughter who now lives in Germany spent two weeks in Ukraine her junior year in high school (that's how I know that the country is called "Ukraine" and not "The Ukraine"). That makes her the only link between the U.S., Germany and Ukraine. Dxxxxx, if you're reading this (and I know you are, because of all my children you are the one who reads this blog most regularly {although I did appreciate my son Cxxxxx commenting the other day that I should grow a goatee like J. Allen Hynek's}), keep watching your back. I don't know what's up, but I'm afraid my blog may be dragging you into a web -- perhaps even a Vortex -- of high strangeness. We should Skype soon.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Total Recall

I have been poring over the last three issues of the MUFON e-Journal, partially to see what I have missed and partially to see if they are hiding something from me (why else would they stop sending it to me, a dues-paying member?).

I don't know if there's a connection, but in his November column, International Director Clifford Clift drops a bomb that should set the UFO research world on its ear but probably won't. In his column, Mr. Clift mentions that the number of UFO sighting reports his organization gets has skyrocketed in recent months, and he wonders whether increased media coverage of UFO phenomenon has led to the increase in reports. It's an interesting question to consider, and I have commented on it before ("The August Flap," 10/16/11). But that's not what interests me about the comments in the November column. What interests me is this comment by Mr. Clift: "It is perhaps significant that 75 percent of the August and September sighting reports above the 500 per-month average are old sightings from the 1960s to the 1990s. This raises the question of why people are just now reporting the events."

That means that in August and September of this year, MUFON received approximately 500 reports of UFO sightings and encounters that took place between 11 and 51 years ago. Now, there are two reasons I can think of for someone to wait that long to report a UFO sighting: they chose not to tell anyone, or they forgot it happened (and you regular readers will know that by "forgot it happened," I mean "were made to forget it happened"). But what reasons could there be for 500 people to suddenly remember their experience and/or get up the gumption to talk about it all at pretty much the same time? Why is it suddenly safe to talk?

Did they all get a signal? A signal from deep space perhaps, or from deep within a hollowed-out mesa in New Mexico? Had they all been talking amongst themselves for the past 11 to 51 years and all decided now was the time? Had they all gone to see "Super 8" over the 4th of July weekend? Had they all started reading this blog? Should I mention that I was born in 1960, the year this mass memory block first appeared?

I also wonder about this: now that they've remembered, what are they going to do about it?

Two new tasks lie before me. First, I need to look through these reports to see if the numbers have continued to increase through October and November (my prediction: they have, and if they haven't I will disregard them), and second, I need to see if any of the reports detail why the report is just now coming to light, and look for patterns. Frankly, I wish MUFON would do this for me, but I am not yet at a point where I can get them to my bidding.

I should mention that my wife Mxxxxx is away for the weekend, otherwise I would be planning Christmas or something.

Monday, November 28, 2011


Somehow the greater UFO community seems to have missed this: the U.S. Government has acknowledged the reality of UFOs. The State of New Hampshire recently erected the most carefully-worded historical marker in the country, marking the site of the famous "Betty and Barney Hill Incident."

I'm glad we can finally give that a rest...

Alien Evolution -- Part 2

I've been thinking more about yesterday's blog post about "Alien Evolution," and came to conclusion that the aliens might not be changing at all.

So, sure, this alien abduction researcher can point to evidence showing that aliens used to abduct humans in  isolated outdoor areas back in the '60s and now they abduct people right from their bedrooms, and the aliens used to wear snappy uniforms and visor caps in the '60s and now they treat our planet like it's one big nudist colony... but what if the only thing that's changed is our perception of the phenomenon, not the phenomenon itself?

Is it too Freudian to wonder why people in 2011 experience naked beings invading their bedrooms and kidnapping them? And, oh yes, probing them? Maybe that's oversimplification, but it's true that what makes humans insecure changes over time. We had different nightmares in the 1960s than we do in 2011. Why wouldn't our perceptions of a threatening alien encounter change over the course of five decades? The end result is the same: the abductee feels completely powerless.

Kind of makes you wonder what an alien abduction in 2050 might look like...

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Alien Evolution

So it turns out that aliens evolve, and rather quickly at that. I learned this at the Burlington Vortex Conference last month, and, unlike the bit about the dimwit alien "greys" dropping their human abductees off at the wrong addresses, this claim actually seems to have some evidence behind it.

It was related by someone who knows a thing or two about aliens, Kathleen Marden, whose aunt and uncle Betty and Barney Hill are two of the most famous UFO abductees of all time. Marden was 13 when her aunt and uncle were abducted by a aliens in a UFO on a deserted highway in New Hampshire in 1961 ("The Interrupted Journey," 7/27/11), and the abduction has shaped Marden's life since then. She has spent most of her adult life studying alien abduction cases and trying to understand why they happen and what they mean, and her presentation of her research is pretty fascinating.

One of the most intriguing aspects to me was the evolution angle, although evolution may not be the right word for what Marden was describing. It may be more accurate to say that aliens have changed their style over the years. Back in 1962, when Barney & Betty had their experience, for instance, aliens showed a strong preference for abducting humans outdoors in isolated locations: deserted highways, derelict shipyards, abandoned forests and the like. This suggests that the aliens like fresh air. I'm sure it suggests a lot of other things, too, but that's the first thing that comes to mind. But, Marden says, the aliens have changed their approach since then... These days they are more likely to abduct humans in their bedrooms. The humans' bedrooms, not the aliens'. I don't think aliens have bedrooms, or pajamas, and I'm not even sure if they sleep.

But back to the story. The fact that aliens in 2011 prefer to abduct their victims directly from the victims' bedrooms suggests that fresh air is no longer a big thing to the aliens. Also, who would you rather abduct: someone who is awake and screaming hysterically, or someone who is sleeping like a baby and maybe drooling a little out of the corner of his or her mouth?

How else have the aliens changed things up over the years? Well, when Betty & Barney were abducted back in 1962, their alien captors wore uniforms that covered their entire bodies, and wore hats with visors, similar to baseball caps. This suggests that the aliens had just come from a ball game or were on their way to a ball game when they abducted the Hills, although there is no evidence to back this up.

In 2001, the aliens sport a much different look. Gone are the full-body uniforms and the baseball caps. These days, you're most likely to be abducted by an alien grey who is grey all over, so to speak. That's right. Nekkid aliens. I'm not sure if that constitutes a change in style so much as an abandonment of style, but it does help explain why the aliens don't abduct people out in the woods anymore...

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Peace N Love

I knew when I got into this UFO Field Investigator racket that it wasn't going to be all rainbows and ice cream. It's a tough, thankless job, with long hours, no pay, no health, no dental, no paid vacation, no expense account, and no 401k. And, strangely enough, no awards. You'd think that after 60-some years the UFO research community would get its act together and put together an awards ceremony. You know, get everybody together for dinner and cocktails and give out an etched crystal award for Outstanding UFO Investigator of the Year?

That's probably never going to happen, but tonight I feel as though I just won an award. It's not etched crystal, and I didn't have to dress up to get it, but I feel as though I just had an Oscar handed to me by someone who hands out Oscars.

After a few negative comments on YouTube directed at my Burlington Vortex UFOs video, I was beginning to wonder if posting the video had been a mistake. But then tonight I noticed that there was a new comment from someone going by the name Nxxxxxxx, and I decided to take a look. To my surprise, the comment was positive:

'~) Great Capture, so pleased for you all.
Peace N Love.

It was so nice not to be accused of being a Satanist that I wrote back to thank Nxxxxxxx and invite him/her to follow my postings. A few minutes later I got this reply:

Greetings & Thanks For The Invite ..
Am Pleased To Accept.
Peace for All

This is why I got into the UFO Field Investigator game: for all that peace N love. Thanks for the award, Nxxxxxxx.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Left Out

Last summer I paid $35 to become a member of MUFON, the Mutual UFO Network. For that money, I was supposed to get a full membership and the monthly e-Journal. Millionaires can pay $50 and get hard copies of the Journal. Billionaires can fork over $55 to get the Journal in both hard copy and electronic formats. But I am neither a millionaire or a billionaire, so I got the cheap membership and saved a few trees.

I got the July e-Journal and then the August e-Journal. They were pretty interesting, but how could they not be when the August issue had a picture of bigfoot on the cover? I read them both from e-cover to e-cover, and found enough interesting material to blog about a few items. I was pleased, and looked forward to the next issue.

Which never came. September came and went. October came and went. November came and is going fast. No new e-Journal. What could have caused them to suspend publication for three months? Surely my $35 dollars must be good for a few months of e-publishing.

Today, in my quest to discover the truth, I went to the MUFON website and found evidence of the ultimate betrayal. They did NOT suspend publication of the e-Journal. They just suspended publication of the e-Journal for ME.

I don't know how to feel about this. MUFON has been moving on without me. They have amassed three months' worth of sighting reports, have held three monthly meetings, have possible solved the riddle of UFOs in its entirety, without letting me know.

There may be a good explanation for this. In the November issue, MUFON Director Cliff Clift mentions that the organization recently transferred all their data to a new Case Management System. Maybe I just slipped through the cracks. Maybe nobody is getting their e-Journal. Maybe just the millionaires and billionaires are getting theirs.

Time to write a letter.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Investigation -- Part I

Because I have not heard back yet from anyone regarding the mass double UFO sighting that took place on October 29, 2011 at the site of the Burlington Vortex, so once again I'm going to undertake my own damned investigation.

The first time I filed a sighting report, back in August, the friendly folks at MUFON asked me to download this nifty free planetarium program called "Stellarium." Using Stellarium, I was to recreate the night sky at the moment of my UFO sighting to see if there were any objects up there that I might have mistaken for an alien space ship. I played with the software a bit and didn't find any planets, stars, galaxies or nebulae in the sky that my wife, daughter and I could have mistaken for the object we saw. We were already pretty sure that the glowing orange object we saw floating a couple hundred feet off the ground wasn't a planet, star, galaxy or nebula, but it was nice to be certain, I guess.

I realize that I need to more thorough and exacting with The Big One, however. So I've gone back to give Stellarium another try. I punched in the coordinates for Burlington, WI, on October 29, 2011 at about 10:30 pm, looking east, and here's what the program gave me:

The night sky looking east from the Vortex on October 29, 2011

Now, the first thing that looks wrong to me is the huge red letter "E" on the horizon. That was not there. The second thing that looks wrong is all those little orange starbursts with labels like "NGC 2281" and "M 35." Those are distant galaxies that were not actually visible to the naked eye that night. They appear on this map because I was trying out all sorts of buttons on the Stellarium control panel and kind of lost track of what I had turned on and what I had turned off. I left them there because they look cool and because I forgot which button would turn them off.

But now, down to business. What does it all mean? Well, I have to say that I find it most interesting that the constellation of Gemini had just risen, because, you see, I am a Gemini! I also find it most interesting that the two brightest stars due east at 10:30 pm were the red giant star Aldebaran ("The Follower") and the red "supergiant" Betelgeuse ("The Armpit of Orion"). I'm not sure what to make of it all, but I will never look at Orion the same again.

The two UFOs seen that night appeared in the sky somewhere in the vicinity of Aldebaran and floated quickly and quietly towards us, through the constellation of Taurus, until they were almost directly overhead. This is the overhead view:

The night sky directly above the Vortex on October 29, 2011
The UFOs both passed close to Jupiter and then flickered out in the vicinity of the constellation of Triangulum, which is, as constellations go, shockingly unimaginative. Which just goes to show you that even Ptolemy could have an off day.

But I digress. Has my little astronomical experiment shed any light on the Burlington Vortex UFO sighting? It could, in time, once I've gone through the MUFON sighting archive to see how many other flaming orange objects have ever appeared near Aldebaran, passed Jupiter and then disappeared near Triangulum. I will share my theory with you: perhaps Triangulum was named Triangulum precisely so that no one would ever pay attention to it....

Monday, November 21, 2011

Become a MUFON Field Investigator... Maybe

It wasn't that long ago that MUFON Director Clifford Clift was telling me that his UFO research organization needs people like me. At the time I believed him, but now I'm not so sure.

Just three weeks ago I filed a UFO sighting report with MUFON central. In it, I detailed the sighting that took place during the "Haunted Woods Tour" that I took while attending the Burlington Vortex Conference. It was a pretty amazing sighting, involving two different UFOs captured on video by both me and one other person here, and witnessed by the entire group of 30 or so people out on the Tour that night.

I thought my MUFON friends would be all over this one, but I have yet to hear from anyone at HQ about an investigation. Why would they ignore a case that is so obviously "The Big One?" What are they afraid of?

In a related matter, I have not heard word one from MUFON HQ about the revised UFO Field Investigator Handbook and Exam, despite repeated requests. I fully expected to be a fully-trained and Certified MUFON UFO Field Investigator by now, roaring through the night in my UFO chase vehicle and bagging aliens by the dozen, but here I sit, waiting and wondering; wondering if the Exam is really being held somewhere but I'm not being told. How long do I wait to be allowed into a UFO research organization before I officially become the world's most pathetic person?

Once again, it's up to me to go Lone Wolf and solve the mystery of the Burlington Vortex UFOs myself!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Truckers Know

The woman at the Vortex Conference who told me, somewhat erroneously it turns out, that the Nine Circles of Hell had been relocated by the U.S. Government to the inside of a hollowed-out mountain in Dulce, New Mexico, was there with her husband. They were awfully nice folks, and I hope to God they have kids someday, because the stories they had to tell really deserve to be passed on from generation to generation, they were so wonderfully wigged-out.

There was the Hell in New Mexico thing, of course, and you'd think that story would be pretty hard to beat, but the husband gave it one heck of a try. He's a trucker, hauling mail on overnight runs between the Twin Cities and towns in northern Wisconsin, and he told me that truckers who drive all night see things that no one else sees... which makes sense, because the rest of us are all sleeping.

A lot of truckers, he told me, have experienced a temporal anomaly on a stretch of I-94 in western Wisconsin between Menomonie and Knapp. That puts it smack-dab in the middle of my trucker friend's mail run to and from the Twin Cities, and sure enough, he has experienced the anomaly himself on more than one occasion. He explained that truckers who pass through this anomaly often find themselves 15 minutes ahead of schedule when they get back into real time-space. Strangely, it also works in reverse, causing some truckers to fall 15 minutes behind. Which explains why you never know when your mail will be delivered in northern Wisconsin.

I was intrigued. I had just driven that route several weeks earlier, moving my son to his new apartment at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities, and decided that when it was time to go pick him up again I would make the trip at night in an 18-wheeler. But I didn't have to, because shortly after I talked to the trucker I had a flashback to that recent trip... and it suddenly seemed to me that I had blanked out along that same stretch of interstate, and that I had completely missed an exit that I had thought about taking to look for some dinner. Had I actually lost 15 minutes passing through the strange anomaly? Or had I just spaced out along a boring stretch of highway? My wife and kids have one theory; I have a different one.

See what I mean about hoping this couple has kids?

Later, at the book signing, I ran into the trucker again, and we got into a conversation with the Roswell guy. The trucker revealed that he used to be a cop in Arizona, and that his partner's dad had once worked a security detail at Area 51... Do you sense a story coming on? So did I, and so it did.

I'll keep it brief. The partner's dad once told his son about a memorable day at Area 51 when the base Commanding Officer had ordered that LSD be slipped into all the lunches served at the Commissary. I know what you're thinking: Employee Appreciation Day. Wrong. It turns out that some alien corpses recovered from a crashed UFO were due to arrive at the base that day, and the C.O. was taking precautions against a possible leak. You see, the government classifies any person who has ever, ever taken a hallucinogen as a psychotic. Therefore, after the LSD experience, everyone who worked on base was officially psychotic. Therefore, if any base employee ever leaked any news about the government capturing alien corpses, the government could simply dismiss the reports as the ravings of a psychotic.

I know, it sounds too silly, and too complicated. And yet...and yet, it follows a certain perverse logic. And I was so thoroughly entertained by the trucker's endless stories and the excited certainty with which he recounted them that I had to buy in.

My son is coming home from college this weekend. I told him to pay attention to the flow of time between the exits for Knapp and Menomonie, just in case.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Dulce, New Mexico

I know where hell is. I don't want to know -- who would? But I know just the same.

I learned where hell is while I was at the Burlington Vortex Conference last month, from a financial planner from Minnesota. I had heard her refer to a secret mountain base at a remote place in New Mexico called Dulce, and I had to ask her more about it. She told me that there is a mountain outside of Dulce that's been hollowed out to house the Nine Circles of Hell. No matter what your personal feelings about Hell, that's big news. I took it in stride, but it's been haunting me ever since.

Now the Nine Circles of Hell come from Dante's Inferno, written in the 14th century. This Dante fellow described a vision of Hell where specific levels offered specific torments for those judged guilty of specific crimes, although, to be accurate, rings 7 through 9, inclusive, each have their own variety of levels, so you could really say there are 20 circles of hell. I think Dante missed an opportunity for a couple of sequels there. Anyway, the point is, apparently only 9 of the circles made their way to Dulce. 

I wish now that I had asked my financial planner friend a few more probing questions. She suggested that the U.S. Government was involved, and I would have really liked to know what they hoped to accomplish by hollowing out a mountain and locating Hell inside it. At first glance, it doesn't make sense that our government would be in the Hell business. Upon reflection, however, it still doesn't make sense.

So, I decided to probe the collective unconscious of the human race, Google. It turns out (and I'm a little ashamed I didn't know this) that the Dulce Base is actually not inside a mountain; it is, rather, inside the Archuleta Mesa, and is home to the world's largest population of alien beings. Well over 18,000 of them live inside the Mesa, by some accounts. It's all a huge biogenetics lab jointly operated by the U.S. & the aliens, and, sure enough, the aliens really are segregated onto different levels. I'm not going to go into detail because, frankly, you wouldn't believe it, but there are greys and reptoids and human clones and octo-humans and... Well, let's just hope that Mesa holds.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Photographic Evidence

I am happy to say that, after a week and a half, Mxxx, the hostess of the Burlington Vortex Conference, has come through with a photo CD from the Haunted Woods Tour. You may recall that on that tour, 30 or so brave souls made their way into the heart of the Vortex itself, saw some stuff, and went home.

I didn't know it at the time, but I spent the entire tour shifting in and out of other dimensions and being touched by strange light energy entities. The photos prove it.

This first shot shows me undergoing a "dimension shift." I'm the guy a little to the right in the black jacket and glasses; the one looking like he has no idea he's shifting dimensions...

Here's a shot of me -- black jacket, glasses, a little to the right of center -- getting a little crazy and trying to shift into several dimensions all at once...

Now this one is cool, because I honestly have no idea what the orange Fairie-looking thing is up in the tree above my head...

Explain this if you can: A light energy entity emerges from the LEDs of the digital recorder I'm holding in my hand. It's almost as though the light energy entity wanted us to think that it was caused by an overexposure of the LEDs, so as to appear "fake"...

Again, no explanation. I am walking through a massive tree trunk, even though I have no conscious memory of having walked through a massive tree trunk...

In this shot, my flashlight magically becomes a ray gun. I wish...

Because walking through one tree is never enough for me, here I do it again. Actually, there's so much weird energy going on in this shot it's a wonder I wasn't fried to a crisp right there on the trail. I'm passing through a tree, that naughty energy entity is looking like the LEDs on my recorder again, and it actually seems as though a group of energy entities is attacking me about the neck and shoulders, while a glowing orb sneaks up behind me on the right edge of the photo. Whew...

After that, it's almost a relief to have the strange orange Fairie hovering over my head again...
I know what you're thinking: that is a lot of phenomena to encounter in one short hike, especially with a double UFO sighting thrown into the middle of it. Well, you're right, it is a lot. But some of us just don't know when to quit. That's why, before the whole thing was over, I somehow managed to work up a dimension-shift while floating in a cloud of ectoplasm... You probably don't know this, but that's like pulling off a quadruple Axel in the Haunted Woods Olympics. Behold...

My God, I am exhausted...