High Strangeness: UFO DNA Invasion!

Thursday, September 21, 2017

UFO DNA Invasion!

I think the aliens are invading, and I think it's our own damn fault.

The realization came to me a few nights ago when I was watching TV and an ad came on for this company called "23 and Me." The ad depicts a young woman traveling the globe to get in touch with her roots, which prove to be remarkably diverse. In the end, we're told that we, too, can probably trace our ancestry to many different races and ethnicities, then go trot the globe looking for long-lost relatives. All we have to do is send a genetic sample to "23 and Me," along with $99 (for the basic service; other services cost more). In return, the company will send you a pretty pie chart showing you a breakdown of your genetic heritage. Ancestry.com is also offering a similar service for the low-low price of $79, but then their pie charts don't look as nice.

Huh.

My immediate reaction to the commercial was, "Why the hell would I give my genetic information to an anonymous company, and -- worse yet -- pay them to take it off my hands (literally)??" I've seen Law & Order. People go to jail rather than surrender their genetic information to the cops, for Christ's sake. But these companies want you to give it up voluntarily, and at a price!

Would you give this to a stranger?
I had some troubling questions as I thought it over that night: Who owns the DNA sample? What's done with it after the service analyzes it? Do they send it back to you so you can reintegrate it into your genetic matrix (I assume the technology exists to do so, but I probably watch too many science fiction movies)? Is there a secondary market for these DNA samples? Am I going to be cloned (not necessarily a bad thing)? What if the sample gets lost in the mail? Is the innocent family tree enthusiast cautioned about of any of this before they pop their gene sample in the mail?

I couldn't answer any of those questions, of course, but as I stewed over the situation a terrible realization came over me: What if these companies are owned and operated by aliens, intent on taking control of the Earth? How would they begin the invasion? Isn't it possible that they would begin by compiling a library of human genetic information, to be used to develop terrible and exotic weapons that target our DNA? Or, worse yet, the information could be used to contaminate and mutate our genetic structures... Science fiction films, TV shows and literature are chock-full of aliens and mad scientists trying to alter our genetic structure and turn us into snake people or swamp things, and it's never pretty.

Somewhere in my files I have a very detailed family tree put together by my paternal grandmother over 30 years ago. She used newspaper articles and public records to trace the O'Connell ancestry to northeast Iowa and then back to the Emerald Isle, and nobody had to swab their mouths for it.

You want my advice? Don't be a chump: Never ever send your precious DNA anywhere in the mail. Trust me, if aliens are advanced enough to get to Earth, they can figure out how to rent a Post Office Box and film a commercial or two.




10 comments:

dubious f said...

I had similar concerns and questions when my sons were born. There is a service that offered to take a sample of their blood from the umbilical cord that was collected after our baby's birth and donated to a Public Cord Blood Bank to help someone with a life-threatening disease. That organism provides stem cells on a local, national and international basis. Services include the coordination of all of the steps involved in the request for stem cells, from the initial search through to donation.
I asked myself if I was ok to give freely away their DNA (also part of mine obviously) to a public bank. The dilemma was this: On one hand, if one day they or someone compatible needed the cell to treat a disease, the procedure would be ethically justifiable. On the other hand, could it be used in a mischievous matter of some sort.
After a brief reflexion, I agreed. My reasoning was this: if it was to be used to clone or control or use DNA to conduct some sort of biological weapon by an evil cabal or alien society and needed OUR DNA, they would get it one way or the other, from their baseball cap to a visit to the dentist. If it was to be used for good, like cure MS or cancer. I then would certainly approve by then. There's a phrase that kept popping in my mind, as Mr Spock stated: "Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few"....

dubious f said...

Mind you this was a non-profit organization. I do think sending your sample in the mail with a check is a different matter, would you even post your social insurance number ...

Mark OC said...

Yeah, a friend replied to this on Facebook, pointing out that we're shedding and spreading our DNA constantly, so why worry?

I do think there's a qualitative difference in handing over your genetic material to a corporation. I think you handled it well in your case, as you seem to have been dealing with a reputable medical organization, and were performing a public service.

purrlgurrl said...

I read an article recently about a pitfall of sending DNA for analysis. Some people are ordering full panels, that is, not just origins DNA but medical profiles as well. This has led to some people receiving devastating news when they get their results. The article suggested that companies also offering medical DNA profiling should be making referrals to or strongly advising customers to see a medical professional and/or a counselor when they're sent results.

It's a brave new DNA world and many of us aren't ready for it.

As for giving up our DNA, every time we shed a hair we give it up. There's nothing we can do not to leave it all around our environments except live in bubble suits.

Mark OC said...

Wow, that's even more disturbing than what I was imagining...

Bill Pilgrim said...

Going out on a limb here, but I'm in the small subgroup who think that the notion of entities from other worlds (who are perhaps hundreds of thousands of years ahead of us intellectually and technologically) collecting or "harvesting" or studying physical components from our bodies is unlikely... because they would already KNOW.
One of the few quotes from Sagan I enjoy: "Why should beings so advanced in physics and engineering...be so backward when it comes to biology?"

Bill Pilgrim said...

To buttress the plausibility of my comment above:

Microscopic UFO seen by chemical-imaging camera
A chemical-imaging camera that assists scientists in analysing objects
and their chemical composition was recently unveiled in one of India’s
top research and development laboratories. The camera is capable of
picking up a microscopic chemical pattern and, within seconds,
generating a three-dimensional data cube of spectral, spatial and intensity
information.
While analysing data from the camera, the scientists came across a set
of photographs of a tiny Unidentified Flying Object (UFO), invisible to
the naked eye. Because an infrared camera that had also been in use
during the same time had not picked up any data, the scientists postulated
that the UFO was a remote controlled, non-heat producing craft without
any life forms inside it. The scientists also observed that when the
chemical-imaging camera captured the details of the UFO, the UFO’s
manoeuvers suggested that it detected the presence of the chemicalimaging
camera in the vicinity.
(Source: www.indiadaily.com)

Anonymous said...

I read that Ancestry.com is owned by the Mormons. The Mormons are intent on baptizing everyone who has ever lived (you no longer need to be alive for them to baptize you) and that raises some concerns about one's immortal soul - if you believe in that sort of thing.

Mark OC said...

That's creepy as hell.

Liviu Gabreanu said...

See Prof. Corrado Malanga,Pisa.