High Strangeness: Nice Try, NASA

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Nice Try, NASA


Well, that was quick! No sooner had hacktivist group Anonymous predicted that NASA is about to announce the discovery of extraterrestrial life than NASA threw a wet blanket over the exciting news:

"Contrary to some reports, there’s no pending announcement from NASA regarding extraterrestrial life," according to Dr. Thomas Zurbuchen, Associate Administrator, NASA Science Mission Directorate. "Are we alone in the universe? While we do not know yet, we have missions moving forward that may help answer that fundamental question."

Nice try, NASA. Any fool can see that you're messing with us once again. First you tried to cover up the faked moon landings, then you tried to cover up the real moon landings during which our Apollo astronauts had strange secret encounters with aliens, and more recently you tried to cover up the  suspicious way the live video feed from the International Space Station just happens to cut out every time an alien spaceship appears in the frame. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention your pathetic attempts to explain away the Face on Mars. How long do you think the public will keep swallowing your cover stories?

So. Now that we know that NASA has, in fact, discovered life on another planet (What do you bet it was Mars all along?), the speculation can begin. Have they discovered tiny little microscopic critters? Intelligent carbon crystals? Giant tentacled monsters? More likely, it will be alien greys, Reptoids or Mantises, or some combination of the three.

Or it could be something altogether different. Thinking about what strange forms of alien life NASA is afraid to reveal to us reminds me of one of my favorite science fiction films, the 1968 psychotronic Japanese alien invasion spectacular, Goke, Bodysnatcher From Hell. I only recently discovered this trippy gem a year or so ago and fell in love with it immediately. The film combines so many tropes from so many movie genres -- science fiction films, disaster films, horror films -- that it's hard sometimes to keep track of what exactly Goke is or is trying to be. Is Goke trying to destroy the human race through hallucination? Does it really come from Hell, and if so does that mean that Hell is another planet? And why does the bad guy wear dainty white gloves throughout the entire movie? All I know is that the film boasts some of the weirdest imagery I've even seen, and Goke itself appears inside the most amazing UFO ever imagined... 

It may not look like much from the outside, but wait until you see the inside...
So, Dr. Zurbuchen from NASA, what are you hiding? Have you discovered Goke? Have you discovered Hell? We kind of need to know.



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