High Strangeness: Ohhhh... NOW I get the Roswell Slides!

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Ohhhh... NOW I get the Roswell Slides!

I just listened to an absolutely mind-melting radio interview about the Roswell Slides, in which author Whitley Strieber has a long discussion with Linda Moulton Howe and Jamie Maussan about the slides. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting much from this, but I'll be damned if the three of them didn't explain everything...

If only they had had this talk on May 4th! Imagine all the trouble they could have saved the world!

Here's what I learned from this show...
  • The woman who allegedly took and owned the Roswell Slides, Hilda Ray, was BFFs with former first lady Mamie Eisenhower (ironically, and hysterically, pronounced "Mummy Eisenhower" by Maussan)
  • "Spy" has been added to Hilda Ray's resume sometime since May 5th
  • The U.S. Department of the Interior has trotted out the old "respect for the remains of native Americans" lie as a smokescreen for hiding the truth about the alien
  • Whitley Streiber once walked past a doctor who glanced at the Roswell Slides and said the figure is not human
  • The figure's shrunken, collapsed and dessicated face "is not the face of a human child!"
  • An anonymous German tourist once positively I.D.'d a "mummy" in a long-defunct museum in the southwest U.S. as an alien, and the German press investigated it
  • If a mummy is displayed with a placard that reads "Alien??" there is no doubt that it's an alien
  • All mummies in all museums everywhere are dead aliens
  • All museum placards are lies
  • Before the May 5th unveiling of the slides, no respectable scientist would look at them
  • Before the May 5th unveiling of the slides, they were nonetheless subjected to rigorous scientific analysis
  • Now that the slides have been unveiled, they can at last be subjected to rigorous scientific analysis
  • "Counterintelligence" is Linda Moulton Howe's favorite word
  • Our government utilizes the old "Hide in Plain Sight" ploy, putting dead aliens identified as "mummies" on public display at isolated, little-known tourist-trap museums to see how humans will react to an alien presence on earth
  • All the visual information on the left side of the Roswell Slides is genuine and we must all agree that it is authentic and accurate in its depiction of an alien being; all the visual information on the right side of the Roswell Slides is evil and false and misleading, and must be ignored
  • Adam Dew no longer exists
  • Whitley Strieber will believe anything
  • Linda Moulton Howe uses this to her advantage
  • We must all pay up to subscribe to Whitley Strieber's "Dreamland" podcast
  • Seriously, pay up now
  • We are all going to change our minds about the slides very soon
I am also pretty sure Jaimie Maussan can collect that $5,000 reward he himself has offered to anyone who can produce a historic photo that shows the Kodachrome slide body in a museum mummy display, because he has done just that. However, if he declines to accept the $5,000 reward from himself, I believe I'm in a pretty strong position to collect it myself, as you can see below:
Pay up, Jaimie!

10 comments:

purrlgurrl said...

The names Larry, Curly, and Moe come to mind.

Jack Brewer said...

When did Strieber start doing satire? Oh, wait...

Mark OC said...

His joyful, childlike, uncritical enthusiasm over every groundless, half-baked assertion made by Maussan and Howe was kind of endearing...

Alien said...

Why didn't they invite 'ambassador' Greer too?The tin foil hat brigade would be complete.
Never the less , a historical episode.We want more...

Terry the Censor said...

Funny summary. Your exasperation comes across clearly.

The Roswell slides scam has been a good test of the epistemic values of UFO personalities. Most acquitted themselves quite admirably, expressing appropriate amounts of doubt from the start, foregoing the usual partisan defensiveness.

Many ardent believers in alien visitation openly criticised the claims and machinations of the sliders before May 5. After the "big reveal," the complaints were nearly universal. After the placard was deblurred, several holdouts changed their opinion in light of this new fact. (All that is pretty darn amazing. It will be interesting to see if this clarity survives this episode.) We are now left with a small but distinct group of slide proponents who fall into the following subgroups:

1) morally indifferent money-grubbing hucksters (Schmitt, Maussan)
2) willfully ignorant opportunists (Dolan, who has accepted the mummy ID but is unwilling to accept any culpability for his shameful role)
3) delusional UFO conspiracy dogmatists (Carey, Strieber, LMH, Paola Harris, just about everybody leaving comments on Dolan's FB posts, nearly everyone responding to Maussan's tweets)

Unless these remaining slide proponents produce hard evidence, they can be ignored going forward. We are not obliged to offer them any courtesy or benefit of the doubt.

Steve Sawyer said...

Ah, yes, three of the most "prominent" UFO hucksters actually making money (to some degree, although Strieber's persistent online begging at his site is so very unbecoming) off the delusional exploitation of their misrepresentations about the UFO phenomenon.

Yeah, I had to tune out after about 10 - 15 minutes it was so nutty.

Strieber came across as some weirdly blasé mutation of Garrison Keillor's character from his mythical town of "Lake Wobegon" on the NPR "Prairie Home Companion" show.

I did then glance at LMH's "Earthfiles" site (all the "good" stuff you have pay a subscription for, naturally) and found it equally ludicrous.

And Linda Moulton Howe's "great finding" about the other child mummy at the "Million Dollar Museum"? Already uncovered a few weeks ago by Nick Redfern, et al, and well publicized. No credit given, though.

Note the "alien mummy" at the MDM also had black artificial eyeballs inserted, I guess to make it seem more... eerily alien? Bwa. Ha. Ha.

These folks, like Schmitt, are all so obvious and crass. The combination of both delusion and knowing attempts at repeated financial exploitation of gullible belief is just so incredibly distasteful.

While there's already a couple versions of the "UFO Hall of Shame" (and "UFO Hall of Fame") online, maybe someone needs to create a "UFO Hall of the Really, Really Shameful." Ah, what's the point...

It's all simply a freaky sideshow, complete with disturbing/ed conmen & carnival barkers, and nothing more than just silly, stupid, and diversionary disinfotainment. Out of greed. 'Twas ever thus.

Meanwhile, the real, actual UFO phenomenon continues...

That's where the discerning focus should be.

Tom said...

All of the the Sliders, including Dolan, may have an extra chromosome. This is the most moronic, stupid, idiotic hoax of our time. Yes, they are all indeed hoaxers. But for them to think they could get away with this asinine fraud requires an imbecile mind of historic proportions.

Mark OC said...

"This is the most moronic, stupid, idiotic hoax of our time." Don't sugar coat it, Tom!

Anonymous said...

Although Dolan didn't appear on the Strieber podcast, you might as well throw him in the mix. I used to have some respect for him at one time. No longer. Hanger 1 and Alien Slides, Richard. Really? Were you that hard up for a buck that you would use up what little bit of mojo you have to lower yourself like that.

Lawrence said...

Must admit I think it's kind of hilarious. Strieber has been falling down the rabbit hole for an age, he keeps falling and I can't even say if he has hit the bottom.

There are a few Roswell true believers who get away with it though, even if they have since come out against the slides. To ever have believed in this slides nonsense in the first place (long before May 5th) is to have no credibility. Zero. All Roswell true believers have no credibility, not just the slides group. Ufology has fallen so far into cretinism and senility that we now have supposedly the 'credible' Roswell true believers and the discredited Roswell believers (i.e. the sliders). None of them have any credibility. It's merely differences of degree to their True Believer status, not of kind.