High Strangeness: June 2015

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Can We Get Back to Talking About UFOs Now?

I have to admit to feeling a little discouraged about the state of ufology over the past few days, but something happened yesterday that has renewed my sense of purpose as a UFO investigator.

My MUFON State Director assigned a historical case to me and asked that I contact the witness ASAP, because it involved multiple witnesses and at least the possibility of photographic evidence. I read the report and was intrigued...

I called the witness up yesterday evening and heard quite a story... The event took place in 1980, when the witness was in the Army and based at Ft. McCoy, a sleepy little training base in west central Wisconsin. At that time, Ft. McCoy was designated as a Cuban Resettlement Center, and as such was used to house several thousand Cuban refugees who had fled to the US. The witness was part of a "human fence" ringing the perimeter of the camp to keep the refugees from slipping away at night. He was one of about 40 or 50 men who stood guard together 24/7 on this unusual assignment. One night, after "late chow," when it was his turn to get some shuteye, he unrolled his sleeping bag in the grass about 50 yards from the other men and got in.
Fort McCoy, the sleepiest Army Base in the US. Until the UFO showed up...

It was then that he saw something strange moving in the sky behind the trees to his left. He got up and watched as the object moved out from behind the trees, and was shocked to see it was a brilliantly-lit square or rectangular craft of some kind moving at uniform speed from his left to his right. That's when it got weird.

All of the men in the human fence saw it, and he told me that "You could hear 50 voices all shouting out 'What is that?' all at once." He noticed that some of the men had cameras and were taking pictures, but he didn't look very closely because his attention returned to the strange object. It took about two minutes for it to cross from the tree line on the left to the tree line on the right. but in that time he saw an opening in the side of the object... He told me that he didn't perceive it as a window with a glass pane, exactly, but more like an opening protected by a force shield. Visible in the opening were two beings "looking right at me." He could only see their outlines in the opening, but he sensed they were looking at him by the way their heads appeared to turn as the object moved past from his left to his right. "I knew they weren't human," he told me after some hesitation.

His attention was also drawn to what appeared to be a flaming exhaust trailing the craft, but when he looked at it, it didn't display any physical characteristics of a rocket exhaust... There was no trail of smoke behind the craft, just a stationary "light coming out of the tail."

He said "I freaked out for a spilt-second. A wall came down in front of me and I went blind; that's the best way I can explain it." Then after the object disappeared behind the trees to the right, he got back in his sleeping bag and fell asleep immediately. To him, this was the oddest, most unsettling part of the experience. How could he just fall asleep after such an emotionally-charged experience? He can't make any sense of it and it bothers him intensely, even after 35 years.

He woke up the day after the sighting feeling perfectly normal, and found that no one wanted to talk about the events of the night before. He asked his Lieutenant "what to do" about the sighting and was told "You're on your own." When he asked his Colonel the same thing, the Colonel said "If it comes out in the local paper, then we'll investigate." The witness smelled a rat: "He knew that as long as we were on that guard duty, no one would have a chance to get into town to look at the papers!" So, of course, nothing ever came of it officially.

The witness told me that he has a list of the men on that guard assignment that night. I had a hard time understanding how he had this document, but by this point in the conversation he was pretty shaken and his voice was giving out a lot... He is sending me the list in the hopes that I can track down someone else who saw the same thing and is still living and is willing to talk about it. A tall order, but still...

Now I'm going to be very unscientific here and tell you what I found persuasive about this man's story...
  • He told me that when this happened he knew less than nothing about UFOs. 
  • He told me that he has kept this inside for over 30 years and can't do it anymore. 
  • His voice exhibited signs of strain and fear as he told me his story. 
  • At times he struggled to find words that would convey the true feeling and meaning of the event -- he had particular trouble describing the "wall" that came down in front of him and how it made him "go blind" for an instant.
  • Sometimes he couldn't find the words to describe things and he just gave up -- the appearance of the odd "flame exhaust" was just impossible for him to put into words, no matter how hard he tried.
  • Odd "soda pop factor" items came out; strange little details like the absence of glass in the opening on the side of the ship, which has no bearing on the story but stuck out to him as significant enough to report in detail.
  • He offered to share the duty roster with me, even at the risk that I might contact someone who would contradict his story.
I believe this man had a very real but as-yet unexplainable experience. If I were to fill out the Ballester-Guasp Report Evaluator with just the information I have now, this case would register a whopping 48.85% Certainty Value, the highest I have ever encountered personally (Yes, I have written in the past about my problems with BGE, but it's what we have to work with).

So, yeah, just when I'm about to give up all hope for ufology and MUFON, a case like this falls into my lap. This guy is powerfully convincing when he says "I have kept this to myself for over 30 years and can't do it any more. Remember the other witnesses also. I was not alone."

And here's the great irony: he decided to file this report only after seeing some lame cable TV UFO show, possibly even the much-reviled MUFON show "Hangar 1."


PS: Speaking of "Hangar 1," something else has improved my mood: Jack Brewer's incredible piece of reporting at The UFO Trail today. Go read it now!

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

My Talk With MUFON

Well, I had my talk with Jan Harzan, International Director of MUFON, and it went pretty well.

I hate to disappoint some of you but I did not destroy MUFON. I did not reduce Mr. Harzan to tears. I did not actually take down, dismantle or destroy anything, but it was a productive conversation nonetheless.

We talked for about a half hour, and the entire conversation was polite, respectful and friendly, which is the way it should be. Jan listened to what I had to say about excluding Jaime Maussan from the MUFON 2015 Symposium, and he understood where I was coming from. He explained that he had booked Maussan for the event many months ago, long before the beWitness fiasco came about, and that his main reason for doing so was so that Maussan would present the UFO videos he has collected over the years from UFO witnesses in Mexico. These videos are, apparently, a big draw.

We then talked about what could be done in the future to make sure MUFON is moving the UFO conversation forward, and I made two suggestions for future sessions at the Symposium. The first suggestion comes from the clever mind of Terry the Censor, who suggested here recently that MUFON could put the actual real people investigating UFO cases on stage to talk about their work. And then while they're at it, they could invite some of the UFO witnesses to get on stage to tell their stories as well. Jan seemed receptive to that, and shared that he has been trying to persuade some "experiencers" he knows to come to the Symposium for just that reason. Who knows, maybe in time that sort of real-life presentation could squeeze the Jaime Maussans of the world off the stage completely.

The second suggestion came about from my wife's and my recent experience hearing Don Schmitt's angry "speech" at the Milwaukee Paranormal Conference. I came out of that experience feeling that a whole lot of people had just had a whole lot of bad information hurled at them, and with no opposing viewpoints expressed, that was what they would be going home with. "What if," I asked Jan, "you put on a panel discussion or even a debate between Jaime Maussan and someone with the critical thinking skills to forcefully rebut the lies and misinformation surrounding the Roswell Slides fiasco?"
beWitness! Is it just me, or do these guys all look really depressed?

He seemed to really like that idea, and suggested that he might even be able to make that happen at the 2015 Symposium coming up this September in Irvine, CA. The trick, he said, would be finding an open slot in the schedule. Of course the real trick would be to get Maussan, or any of the people who stood on stage at the beWitness event, to willingly participate in a debate with people who knew from day one that the slides were bogus and could clearly explain why... You know, the "skeptics."

I don't see that happening anytime soon, but I could be wrong. These guys do have massive egos, and can be easily manipulated if you appeal to their narcissism.

So, who knows? I might have planted a seed... Just think about how many bums you'd get in seats to watch The Great Roswell Slides Debate!


Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Another Skeptic Whining About "Proof"

I think it's weird that in his wind-up to the big announcement about the Roswell Slides last November at American University, Roswell Dream Teamer Tom Carey referred back to "the Ramey memo" as "Smoking Gun #1."

The Ramey memo, for those of you not "in the know" like I am, is a piece of paper with text printed on it, visible in a 1947 photo taken of alleged Roswell saucer crash cover-up conspirator General Roger Ramey. In the photo, which shows Ramey displaying to the media the weather balloon debris that is central to the Roswell saucer crash "cover-up" story, the memo is clutched in Ramey's left hand.

What does the memo say?? Does it support the saucer-crash cover-up conspiracy narrative or debunk it? Is it -- is it a smoking gun?? The world needs to know!

Well, several years ago someone named David Rudiak decided to find out. Apparently, Rudiak used some slick software to "de-blur" what was written on the paper that was inexplicably clutched in Ramey's hand. You may be surprised at the results. Sure enough, the memo was shown to be a smoking gun because the software revealed the following words and phrases on the document:

"DISK"

"VICTIMS"

"WRECK"

"RANCH'."

"FORWARDED"

"FORT WORTH, TEX."

"DISC"

"ARMY"

"STORY"

"NEXT"

"OF"

I ask you, is that not the smokingest gun of all time? Wasn't it ballsy of General Ramey to be lying to reporters at the same moment that he was holding a clearly-visible document in his hand that proved that a saucer crash had occurred and was now being covered up? That's what we in the know call "Hiding in Plain Sight," and it's one of the government's favorite mind-fucks. The key is deniability: if any intrepid reporter had asked, "Say, General, what's that suspicious looking memo you are holding in your left hand?" he could have crunched it up and slipped it into his pocket in a flash and pulled the old "Memo? What memo?" ploy.

This is what a smoking gun looks like.
Now, here's the crux of the issue:

Back in November, Carey argued that the text said to be visible on the Ramey memo only after the picture had been photographically enhanced had to be accepted as the truth.

But after May 5, the DreamTeamers argued quite insistently for the exact opposite. After the mummy bombshell, they argued that the placard text said to be visible in the Roswell Slides only after the picture had been photographically enhanced couldn't be trusted, and was, in fact, false information. Even now, some of them still seem to think that.

How is this possible? How can these guys really think they can have it both ways?

Sunday, June 21, 2015

UFOs and Basketball

Remember the original "Dream Team"?

They were the 1992 US Olympic basketball team, and they were called the "Dream Team" because they were the first ever US Olympic basketball team to allow professional NBA players. The team was created to win, and they did. And, because they were so powerful and talented and pre-ordained to win Olympic gold, Sports Illustrated called them the "Dream Team."

The nickname worked, and you know why? Because Sports Illustrated came up with it, not the team itself. If the team had called themselves the "Dream Team" everyone would have hated them and they probably would have gotten bronze, if anything.
You want to know what a "Dream Team" looks like? This is what a "Dream Team" looks like.
Now, I know there are likely other uses of the term "Dream Team" that predate the '92 Olympic basketball team, but you get my point: a group of people can't name themselves a "Dream Team," because if they do they come off looking like a bunch of jackasses. Only someone else can name a team a "Dream Team."

Which brings me to the point of this post...

Since I wrote my letter to the Director of MUFON requesting that Roswell Slides impresario Jaime Maussan be taken off the speakers' roster at the 2015 MUFON Symposium, I have been inundated with letters of thanks and congratulations (which I appreciate a great deal) and invitations to appear on a number of podcasts (which I also appreciate greatly).

So, I've been thinking about what I would say about my letter on a podcast, and what kind of conversations or arguments my statements might start. I decided to do a little research, and I thought the best place to start would be to review the announcement Tom Carey made last November 11th at American University. Carey was part of a panel discussion entitled “UFOs: Encounters by Generals, Pilots, and Government Officials," and he used that opportunity to make a VERY BIG announcement that has now come back to bite him and his fellow "Dream Teamers" in the ass in a most spectacular way.

(I am very grateful to Mr. Ben Moss of the Virgina chapter of MUFON, who attended the event, recorded the speeches and posted them at www.mufonva.com To listen, click on the Audio tab then click Play on Tom Carey's recording, or go here.)

In light of claims that are being made now by Carey and his colleagues, it's very interesting to listen to the public statements Mr. Carey was making only 7 short months ago...

Here are the highlights of Carey's comments:
  • He begins his talk by announcing that he has in his possession a "Smoking Gun," but that he won't reveal details until the end of his speech.
  • He spends the next 15-20 minutes talking about the Roswell saucer crash case, and emphasizes that it is the only UFO case that either he or Donald Schmitt have investigated over the last 20-some years.
  • He identifies the "Ramey Memo" as "Smoking Gun #1."
  • He leads off his big announcement by mockingly saying "The Skeptics are always whining about 'Proof.'" 
  • He says he has in his possession "slides of an alien being," aka "Smoking Gun #2."
  • He says that "...it shows an alien that has been at least partially dissected," and that "its innards had been removed."
  • He says that the being in the slides "looks exactly like what I thought the Roswell aliens would look like, based on the information that had been given to me over the last 24 years; exactly what I had expected!"
As you can see, there's no ambiguity there. None. He clearly stated that he had photographic images of an alien being, and then he made a direct connection between the "alien" in the slides and his precious Roswell case.

So, after that, I feel pretty ready to talk about this on any and all podcasts that may come up. There's just one thing: which one of you skeptics has been whining about proof?? Cut it out! You're making us all look bad.









Thursday, June 18, 2015

Eradicating the UFO Pestilence -- Part II

Holy Green Fireballs! 

I never expected the kind of response I've gotten to my letter to the MUFON head office asking them to un-invite Jaime Maussan from this September's UFO Symposium, and to banish anyone who stood with him on that stage in Mexico City last month. 

I guess it had never occurred to me that nobody has ever made such a request before. How can that be?? I feel a little like Oliver Twist asking the orphanage Headmaster for "More please?" at lunch time: kind of bewildered that such a simple request would cause such a ruckus...
"Please sir, could you tell Jaime Maussan to stay home?"

Well, I am happy to say that I have an update, or at least a partial one: MUFON Director Jan Harzan  called me today to talk about the issue. We played a little phone tag over the course of the day, but never connected. Alas, I will be traveling tomorrow, so I won't be able to talk with him until next Monday at the earliest. 

I will say that I was pleased with the friendly tone of Jan's voice messages, and I am looking forward to talking to him. However, I don't feel it's right to comment further until we've had a chance to talk. I will post an update right here as soon as there is anything new to report. Meanwhile, thanks for all the support!

Meanwhile, I'll leave you with this thought:

The other day an old friend of mine, who knows nothing about the UFO biz, was looking at the MUFON logo and asked, in complete innocence: "How do you pronounce this? 'MUFFIN'?"

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Eradicating the UFO Pestilence

You know how everyone keeps saying the members of the Roswell Dream Team should be banished to UFOlogy Siberia for their roles in the Roswell Slides fiasco? Well, last night I noticed that Mr. Jaime Maussan is a featured speaker at the MUFON 2015 Symposium this coming September, and so I decided to do something about it. I decided to write a letter to Mr. Jan Harzan, International Director of MUFON:

Hi Jan,
I'm the Chief Investigator and Assistant State Director for MUFON Wisconsin, and I have a request to make concerning this year's Symposium.

No doubt you have followed the sad saga of the Roswell Slides hoax, and so you must realize how inappropriate it would be to have Jaime Maussan appear at the 2015 Symposium. In light of the apparent duplicity and/or ineptitude of Maussan and the others involved, I would like to formally request that Mr. Maussan be removed from the speakers' roster. There is simply no way that MUFON can seriously present one of the perpetrators of the Roswell Slides fiasco as a speaker at this flagship event and retain any credibility. How can we say MUFON is dedicated to "The Scientific Study of UFOs" and then let a man who has just done immeasurable harm to our work come speak at our Symposium?
I would like to request further that from here on out, Mr. Maussan and his colleagues Tom Carey, Don Schmitt, Richard Dolan and Anthony Bragalia be banned from all MUFON events. There is no place for these people at any gathering that is meant to further the cause of serious UFO study.
Thank you for your time and attention,
Best regards,
Mark O'Connell
I haven't heard back from him yet...

Maybe we need to shut a few doors while we're at it...
Curiously, at the website for the Symposium, Maussan has an unbelievably lengthy bio, and yet there is not a single reference to the Roswell Slides or BeWitness!

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

UFO: The Musical!

Boy, you take a few days away from UFO world and everything just dies... Ever since Shepherd Johnson revealed the nearly 200 pages of documents verifying the origin and history of the mummy in the slides formerly known as the Roswell Slides, the whole place has gone quiet... Everyone, it seems, is done with the mummy, the slides, and, possibly, with UFOs in general. I wouldn't blame anybody for feeling that way.

But, wait! There is still something to be done about the Roswell Slides! We must still hunt down and publicly excoriate the infamous Adam Dew. He cannot get away with what he has done to UFOlogy!

It occurred to me this morning that there may be a way to smoke Adam Dew out from whatever dark place in which he's hiding. I started looking for contact info or a website for Dew Media, Inc., but all I came up with was a showcase of his video work on Vimeo. No help there.

Then I looked on linkedin.com and sure enough, there he was; just click here to see. But, guess what? There's no contact info given for Dew Media! Damn that scoundrel! He knew that sooner or later someone would come looking!

Well, I sent him a message on linkedin asking to be business buddies, and I think you should too. I think everyone who has followed the Slides fiasco at even the most casual level should message Mr. Dew and ask him what's going on with the slides, and with his movie project, "Kodachrome."

Speaking of "Kodachrome," a quick check at imdb.com showed that much of the production info on the movie has been deleted or edited. Either it's not happening, or the people involved just don't want to reveal anything about it. Which is weird, because before May 5th there was a whole lot of info about the movie there. It all just went "poof!"

Still, I was able to dig up a little info, like this film still:

The climactic scene from Adam Dew's "Kodachrome"
I was so psyched to find this still on imdb.com, I decided to send a message to Adam Dew there, too. I posted a comment on the "Kodachrome" message board, and I encourage you to do the same! It's free, so what's stopping you? 

Anyway, here's the comment I left for Adam Dew and his production team:

I am so psyched to see this movie -- the TRUE story of the Roswell slides and how Adam Dew lucked into possession of these slides that PROVE that an alien crash landed in a UFO in Roswell in 1947 and then how Dew joined forces with some of the sketchiest players in the UFO trade to snag headlines around the world in the buildup to their great reveal of the ROSWELL SMOKING GUN in Mexico and the almost immediate discovery that the slides showed a mummified human child and not an ET as Dew and his cronies had claimed!
I am totally confident that this movie will answer the following questions:

Who is Adam Dew?

How much money did he make on this project?

How hard was it to fool Carey, Dolan, Maussan & Schmitt?

How can this movie, that has such a massive, monumental story to tell -- let's be real, this is the "Les Miserables" of the UFO world -- be described as a "Comedy Short?"

C'mon now, go and post something there yourself! Let's let Adam Dew know that we haven't forgotten about him. I'm sure that will make his day :)

Thursday, June 11, 2015

UFO Irony!

There's a chapter title in the book "The Real Area 51: Inside Wright-Patterson Air Force Base" (2013, New Page Books) that adds a heaping dose of irony to the the Roswell Slides clusterfuck (as if it needed any more).

"The Real Area 51" was written by Thomas Carey and Donald Schmitt, of course, so its contents have special relevance at the moment. The title of Chapter 15 is -- and I'm not making this up, folks --
"Dr. J. Allen Hynek: Dupe or Accomplice?"
Do you think maybe we start asking that of Carey, Schmitt and the rest of the Roswell Dream Teamers?

BONUS IRONY: Don't ever say this blog doesn't deliver. I have just noticed another huge irony on the pages of "The Real Area 51", this one on the dedication page. It reads:
"Dedicated to the fond memory of
Dr. J. Allen Hynek, who was enough of a scientist to admit he was wrong"
Kind of blows your mind, doesn't it?

NOTE: I would include scans of these pages, but I only have a Kindle copy of the book. I will leave it to the expert photoanalysts to determine whether or not that's what the book really says...


Maybe they should have used one of these... It might have been more accurate.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Here I was, all set to write more about Don Schmitt's bizarre presentation last weekend at the Milwaukee Paranormal Conference, and now I find all the wind has been taken out my sails by the intrepid Jose Antonio Caravaca. And I am grateful for that.

What Mr. Caravaca has done today makes any and all talk about the "Roswell Slides" and their proponents on the "Roswell Dream Team" completely irrelevant. He has unearthed a second slide of the very same mummified boy visible in the original "Roswell Slides," complete with a similar placard identifying the remains as the mummy of a two-year-old child recovered from the Pueblan cliff-dwellings at Montezuma's Castle National Monument in Arizona. You should go take a look here; the new image is a sight worth seeing.

(NOTE: According to Rick Reynolds at UFO Conjecture(s), the new photo was actually discovered by Jorge Peredo. I will seek to clarify this and issue corrections if and when necessary)

It's over. The "smoking gun" of Roswell has become instead the final nail in the coffin. 
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, Roswell...

This might explain Schmitt's strangely cautious yet unsurprisingly belligerent talk five short days ago in Milwaukee. Perhaps he had gotten wind of Caravaca's discovery and was attempting to position himself on relatively safe ground. But, of course, that is speculation, and speculation is what gets us all into trouble in UFO world, isn't it?

Ok, I've reconsidered. I will tell you a little about Schmitt's talk after all, because there are things we can learn from it. The talk was filled with whoppers big and small -- that he was "special investigator to Dr. J. Allen Hynek" and that Carl Sagan said on his death bed that "Roswell is still the most important UFO case" and that he wanted Schmitt to use that information -- but you expect that. Beyond that, though, there was an undercurrent to his talk that my wife and I both found extremely disturbing.

Maybe it was the way he branded anyone who doesn't support his specific trademarked version of the Roswell story as a "skeptic."

Maybe it was the way he suggested to the audience that those very same "skeptics" are their enemies.

Maybe it was the way he strung together unconnected thoughts and tried to make them sound like facts: e.g., listing all the many ways the government has been known to lie to us and then using that as "proof" that they are lying to us about Roswell, too.

Maybe it was the way he blatantly mischaracterized the actions of the Roswell Slides Research Group, of which Mr. Caravaca is a member.

Maybe it was the way he angrily announced all of his upcoming Roswell-related projects -- A new book! A new movie! A new archaeological dig! -- as if that somehow proved beyond a doubt that the Roswell story is real.

Maybe it was the way he displayed zero tolerance for the views of any other UFO researcher, or any other critical thinker at all, UFOlogist or not.

Or maybe it was what my wife noticed... She works in academia, so she pays close attention to how scholars, experts and authorities express and pass on knowledge. There are good ways and there are bad ways, and the way Schmitt expressed and passed on knowledge last Saturday night was very bad and very upsetting to her. It was bad because he only pretends to pass on knowledge. "He's in this incredibly privileged position from which he could move the conversation forward, but he doesn't move it forward," she said, "He moves it backwards, and he does it for his own benefit."

I couldn't have put it better myself, not in a million years.

As we were leaving the Conference, she came up with another gem that I really have to share with you. I commented on how relatively drama-free Schmitt's speech was, all things considered, and she said, "Yeah, all the drama was in his hair."


Monday, June 8, 2015

A Ghostly Good Time!

I'm going to blog at length about the Milwaukee Paranormal Conference experience tomorrow, but for now I thought I'd share this recap that was just posted by the organizer of the event.

I pop up here and there, and so does a certain member of the Roswell Dreamy Team... see if you can tell who is who!

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Smoking Roswell Bombshell

There's a lot I could say about Mr. Donald Schmitt's speech this evening at the amazingly fun Milwaukee Paranormal Conference (and I live-tweeted some of it at #mkeparacon), but I like you all too much and so, for the sake of minimizing the pain, I'll keep it simple.

Schmitt's keynote presentation this evening was entitled "The Evidence for the UFO Crash at Roswell" and his message to the audience can be pretty concisely summed up this way:
"I have too many lucrative Roswell-related projects in the works to be able to admit that the Roswell slides were fakes.
Thank you
Goodnight
I'll be signing copies of my book in the main hall"

Thursday, June 4, 2015

UFO Meat Market

Well, the aliens sure came up with a brilliant way to invade the earth...

It has been announced that George Noory, the man who stays up all night talking about UFOs on the radio, has just launched a dating site for those of us who have "an interest in the paranormal, science, life after death, ghost stories, Bigfoot, UFO’s, alternative medicine and conspiracy theories." It's paranormaldate.com and I'm convinced it's either going to revolutionize dating or cause the extinction of the human race.

How did Noory come up with such a brilliant idea (and make no mistake, it is a brilliant idea)? I'll let him describe it in his website's own words...
George Noory, syndicated radio host of Coast to Coast AM, heard on nearly 600 radio stations nightly, created Paranormal Date, after seeing a need from his massive, loyal audience. Noory says, I keep hearing the same thing at speaking events around the country, “George, I need a place to meet people of like-mind, that understand me and my interests.” From that, Paranormaldate.com was born!
Want to have a Close Encounter of the 69th kind? Paranormaldate.com! Want to go Bigfoot hunting, but send a clear message to Bigfoot that you're already taken? Paranormaldate.com! Want to start a conspiracy theory, but stymied because by definition it's impossible to have a one-person conspiracy? Paranormaldate.com!

Well, that's what Noory and his alien friends want you to think it's all about. In reality, Paranormaldate.com has nothing to do with finding love, and everything to do with evilness and world domination. Think about it: if the aliens are able to pair off all the people who know they exist into couples, it will take them half the time to eliminate all the undesirables when they launch the attack.

The alien-human hybrid in "V" was born in, like, 6 minutes.
Worse yet, if they use Paranormaldate.com to set up unwitting humans on dates with aliens we could be overrun by a race of evil alien-human hybrids nine months from now. Even sooner, if alien babies don't need nine months to gestate, which they probably don't. They never do on TV.

The fiends! Using our desperate need for love and connection to wipe us out! Using a human meat market as a human meat market!

On the other hand, maybe Noory's just burned out and figures if he can set up some of his fans with girlfriends and boyfriends, they'll have something to do at night and won't call into the show so much.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Ohhhh... NOW I get the Roswell Slides!

I just listened to an absolutely mind-melting radio interview about the Roswell Slides, in which author Whitley Strieber has a long discussion with Linda Moulton Howe and Jamie Maussan about the slides. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting much from this, but I'll be damned if the three of them didn't explain everything...

If only they had had this talk on May 4th! Imagine all the trouble they could have saved the world!

Here's what I learned from this show...
  • The woman who allegedly took and owned the Roswell Slides, Hilda Ray, was BFFs with former first lady Mamie Eisenhower (ironically, and hysterically, pronounced "Mummy Eisenhower" by Maussan)
  • "Spy" has been added to Hilda Ray's resume sometime since May 5th
  • The U.S. Department of the Interior has trotted out the old "respect for the remains of native Americans" lie as a smokescreen for hiding the truth about the alien
  • Whitley Streiber once walked past a doctor who glanced at the Roswell Slides and said the figure is not human
  • The figure's shrunken, collapsed and dessicated face "is not the face of a human child!"
  • An anonymous German tourist once positively I.D.'d a "mummy" in a long-defunct museum in the southwest U.S. as an alien, and the German press investigated it
  • If a mummy is displayed with a placard that reads "Alien??" there is no doubt that it's an alien
  • All mummies in all museums everywhere are dead aliens
  • All museum placards are lies
  • Before the May 5th unveiling of the slides, no respectable scientist would look at them
  • Before the May 5th unveiling of the slides, they were nonetheless subjected to rigorous scientific analysis
  • Now that the slides have been unveiled, they can at last be subjected to rigorous scientific analysis
  • "Counterintelligence" is Linda Moulton Howe's favorite word
  • Our government utilizes the old "Hide in Plain Sight" ploy, putting dead aliens identified as "mummies" on public display at isolated, little-known tourist-trap museums to see how humans will react to an alien presence on earth
  • All the visual information on the left side of the Roswell Slides is genuine and we must all agree that it is authentic and accurate in its depiction of an alien being; all the visual information on the right side of the Roswell Slides is evil and false and misleading, and must be ignored
  • Adam Dew no longer exists
  • Whitley Strieber will believe anything
  • Linda Moulton Howe uses this to her advantage
  • We must all pay up to subscribe to Whitley Strieber's "Dreamland" podcast
  • Seriously, pay up now
  • We are all going to change our minds about the slides very soon
I am also pretty sure Jaimie Maussan can collect that $5,000 reward he himself has offered to anyone who can produce a historic photo that shows the Kodachrome slide body in a museum mummy display, because he has done just that. However, if he declines to accept the $5,000 reward from himself, I believe I'm in a pretty strong position to collect it myself, as you can see below:
Pay up, Jaimie!