High Strangeness: Kodachrome Apocalypse

Monday, May 4, 2015

Kodachrome Apocalypse

Well, I've taken some time away from the blog to concentrate on my Hynek book, and that may have been a mistake... You see, I just realized today that this could very well be my last ever blog entry on "High Strangeness," and if that's the case, then I will forever regret not writing a whole lot of nonsense here over the past week or two.
It's baaaaa-aaaaack...

What happened was, this morning I got an email reminder that "The Roswell Slides" will be unveiled tomorrow, May 5, 2015, in Mexico City, and if those two Kodachrome slides prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the bodies of extraterrestrial aliens were recovered from the wreckage of a crashed spaceship in July, 1947, at Roswell, New Mexico and then taken to a secret military installation for dissection and analysis, then, my dear friends, there will no longer be any need for me to continue this blog. We will have proof that UFOs are not only a real phenomenon, but that they are real physical objects from another world, piloted by living beings, and that the U.S. Air Force has known the truth since at least July, 1947. If you're thinking that's an awful lot of weight to be carried by two old, blurry slides, then you're a fool.

That's a big fucking deal, folks. It would put me out of a job at MUFON, for sure. Why keep investigating new UFO cases when I know the mystery has already been solved? It would put the kibosh on my bio of J. Allen Hynek as well, because it would mean that Hynek was a complete idiot who was never even remotely right about anything associated with UFOs, and why would anyone want to read a book about such a schmuck? And, most important of all, it would mean that the "Roswell Dream Team" is made up of the most brilliant minds of all time.

So, yes, I am worried. But maybe I shouldn't be, if the newly-released teaser for "Kodachrome," the documentary film about the Slides, is any indication. In it, the filmmaker shows the slides to random passers-by on what appears to be Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago and asks them what they think they are seeing. The fact that 99% of them say the slides show "aliens" is supposed to be of some significance, but it's not. The people are shown images of what has become the culturally-accepted universal iconography of an "alien" and of course that's what they think they're looking at. Duh. Tellingly, the people weren't then asked, "Do you think this is a picture of a real alien corpse?" because guess what they would have answered? Instead they were told, "This is real."

And there are other problems:

  • If I had shelled out big bucks to see the first showing of the slides in Mexico City tomorrow, I'd be pretty pissed to know that they've already been shown to a couple hundred random Chicagoans.
  • I am bothered by an interesting new twist in the slide owner's spiel where he now claims that Hilda Ray, the mystery woman who supposedly owned the slides, may be visible in one of them, standing behind the "alien." Where did this bombshell clue suddenly come from?
  • The way the backers are scrambling for safety is a sight to see. One of the Dream Teamers recently said to a radio interviewer, "Can we prove it’s an alien? Well, a picture unfortunately can’t do that." Another supporter made the bizarre statement that while the slides will "always have the glimmer of uncertainty about them," they cannot be easily debunked, "at least not legitimately." Which is another way of admitting that they will always have the glimmer of uncertainty about them, and they are legitimately debunkable.
  • Why are they legitimately debunkable? For starters, there is no way to prove when the film was manufactured, when it was exposed or when it was developed. If you can't date the "evidence," you've got nothing.

Imagine that 50 years from now some random person finds an old box of slides in your attic after you've died. That person has been hired to clean out your house, but has never had any connection to you otherwise and never met you while you were alive. That person gives the slides to her brother, who also never knew you or knew of your existence while you were alive, and he sits on them for 10 years. He then gives them to a friend. That friend of the brother of the person who found the slides while cleaning out your house after you died then decides not only that the slides belonged to you but that he can recreate your entire life story with complete accuracy, just from the information on those slides.

Do you think the story he made up would have even the slightest connection to reality?

These guys do. So maybe I'll still be around after tomorrow after all.
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