High Strangeness: UFO Scavenger Hunt

Thursday, January 15, 2015

UFO Scavenger Hunt

I lied once when I was a kid. Actually, I wasn't just a kid; I was a Boy Scout. And when a Boy Scout lies, whoo-boy that's bad.

My fellow Scouts and I were on a big campout with hundreds of other Scouts from around the state, and we were all competing in a huge scavenger hunt. It was all pretty simple stuff: find a twig, find a rock, find a ray of sunshine. There was no way we could lose, or so we thought. At the bottom of the list was "Find a price of rabbit fluff."

Rabbit fluff? How the hell do you find stray rabbit fluff laying around the forest? We were screwed, and we were pissed. How could the judges throw us such a screwball? Did they want us to lose??

Can you tell when you're being rabbit fluffed? I can.
As we stood there in the woods, lost in our despair, one of us -- I don't remember who -- picked up a cigarette butt and started picking at it. Somehow, a light went on and inspiration struck. The shredded filter tip looked kind of like.... rabbit fluff. Suddenly we knew we could win; all we had to do was shred the filter tip as finely as we could and then don't crack when the judges inspect it. It was the perfect crime.

The judge was immediately suspect. Clearly, he never expected anyone to come up with any rabbit fluff... He looked at it. He touched it. He smelled it. He lit it on fire and smelled the smoke... We thought we were dead. Then, his face screwed up in disgust, the judge said, "I hate to do it, but it's definitely rabbit fluff."

We won.

Why do I bring this up now? Because I have been trying very hard to catch up on my MUFON caseload this week, and I've noticed something odd. I've been able to interview four witness in the last two days, and, although I can't prove anything, I think I've been rabbit fluffed three times over!

Let's go over the cases one by one:

Case #1: A witness reported seeing two brilliantly-lit objects in the sky fly overhead one after the other. Both were silent and slow-moving, shapeless but with a brilliant white centers and orange outlines. The objects moved across the sky and then disappeared... He tried to chase the second one in his car, but lost it.

In our interview, the witness was very enthusiastic about the brilliance of the two objects, describing them as "plasma lights" over and over again. To me they sounded suspiciously like Chinese lanterns, and sure enough, the witness at one point brought up that possibility... But then he quickly dispensed with that idea, declaring unequivocally that "Nobody around here would launch Chinese lanterns."

The witness seemed sincere, but I couldn't help feeling I was being rabbit fluffed, even if unintentionally. I listed his sighting as a Man-Made Identified Flying Object (IFO).

Rabbit fluff factor: Moderate

Case #2: A witness discovered an object on a photo he had taken last fall. He hadn't seen the object when he took the shot. It was a gray-brown squiggly blurry thing far out over the waters of Lake Michigan. I didn't think to ask him what he thought he was taking a picture of, but I should have, because it's just a photo of some very boring land and water and sky. What he thought was worth photographing is beyond me.

Even though he never actually saw the object out over the lake, he likes to speculate. He told me over and over again that he is convinced the object in the photo looks like a space vehicle with an ion engine, possibly something along the lines of the US Enterprise, or if not that then a US military anti-grav vehicle.

I see a seagull. I listed his sighting as a Natural Identified Flying Object (IFO).

Rabbit fluff factor: High

Case #3: A witness saw a light in the sky and took a very long video from his car as he chased the light. The video is very dark and shaky and indistinct, with lots of lights, and it's difficult to know exactly which light is the strange one. The video has titles, giving us a running commentary of what the witness was saying to himself as he shot the video. At one point he says he is "Talking directly into the mic in case i die or anything."

When I spoke to the witness, it was a very strange & short conversation. He said he had started out feeling very enthusiastic about talking to me, but that "in light of recent developments" he thought that he shouldn't talk to me after all. I asked him what he meant, and he said, "Well, NASA's feed is down," and wouldn't say anything more. When I tried to ask him what he was referring to, he hung up. Then he emailed me to say he really, really couldn't talk to me. I did not respond.

Strange thing is, I checked yesterday after that phone call, and the live feed from the International Space Station really was down. Weird. The error message said the feed was "...either switching camera or experiencing temporary loss of signal..." 

Today the ISS live feed is back up, but I did find this weirdness about an apparent NASA UFO Cover-up.

I listed his sighting as "Insufficient Data." And that was being generous.

Rabbit fluff factor: Off the scale

And, no, I don't feel bad about the scavenger hunt. If you ask a bunch of clever boys to find something impossible, what do you think they're going to do?


purrlgurrl said...

Now whenever I hear what's obviously a tall story, the phrase"rabbit fluff" will go zooming around in my head instead of "BS". A vast improvement, I think.

Mark UFO'Connell said...

I take that as a huge compliment! Thank you, purrlgurrl.