High Strangeness: UFO Inventory

Thursday, September 26, 2013

UFO Inventory

I realized this week that I was terribly behind with my MUFON investigations, which is not a good thing when you've just been promoted to Chief Investigator for the entire state. So, yesterday I logged into MUFON's Contact Management System to see how big a mess I was in.

Turned out things weren't as bad as I'd feared. I had five open cases going back to last July/August. Three of them I was able to close out because the witnesses had failed to respond to my repeated attempts to contact them, either by phone or email. I marked those, "Insufficient Data."

You see, when I first get a case, I generally attempt to make contact first by phone (unless the witness didn't leave a phone number, in which case I send an email). If I don't get through or don't hear back from the witness, I send an email. If I don't get a reply to the email, I send another.... But, you see how tough this is: at some point I can start to seem like a pest, and that's the last thing I want. I mean, it's the witness' fault that I'm becoming a pest, because they filed the report and by virtue of that fact they asked to be interviewed. So, by trying to interview them I'm only doing what they want. Except all of a sudden they don't want to do it, so I have to keep calling and emailing. This is very tricky, but at some point I have to pull the plug on these people and so I did.

That left two cases to investigate. One has been mired in a legitimate phone-tag and email-tag situation, largely caused by scheduling issues on my end. So, I am cutting this person some slack and trying once again to make an appointment. Here's the witness' account of his/her UFO experience:
I was sitting in my bed watching Netflix on my iPad. The lights are off and Im facing an open window. When this very very bright orange light appears above the treeline across the street. So bright it captures my attention from the show I was watching. It was slowly rising above the tree line. It was just so odd, because it was so bright. I got up and went to the window and watched the light hover. At first i thought someone lit off a firework, but it was way bigger and brighter than a firework and it didnt explode, it hovered. Then i thought it may be a helicopter flying towards me. But there was no sound. Then it seemed to float off to the north, and then started to ascend.
The big question here is, obviously, what was the witness watching on Netflix? What movie or TV show was so boring that an orange light floating in the sky would catch his/her attention?

The last case on my docket is brand new:
Was just sitting here reading a book, in my chair next to my upstairs room window. I casually looked out at the night and the sky and see to the West of Platteville WI an unknown far object flashing bright electric-like lights. That was 3:12am central time. Pink and green, but they look electric, it looks like the colors swirl around the whole object and its still there right now to the West of Platteveiile WI. It has moved higher and lower and now is up even higher straight up, its blinking and pulsating really fast now, its amazing how fast and bright this is!!!! Itd now 3:43 and the craft like light is still there. In the western sky of platteville wi.
This is an interesting sighting, all right, but I wonder why the witness found it necessary to mention three flipping times that it was sighted "west of Platteville, WI." Is the witness trying to tell me something? I checked the map and there are exactly two things west of Platteville, WI: 1) the Mississippi River, and 2) Iowa.

There is, however, something very strange to the east of Platteville, WI. There, four miles outside of town, on a mound known as Platte Mound, is a gigantic letter. Not just any letter: it's the letter 'M.' and it's not just any letter 'M': it's the world's largest letter 'M' in the world! And it's made of rocks!

You can see it here:
Or I suppose the 'M' could just stand for 'Mound'...
Legend says that the giant 'M' was built in the 1930's by bored mining students at the nearby University who figured out that 'M' stood for 'mining,' and who thought that any passersby who saw a giant 'M' on the side of a big mound would automatically jump that same conclusion. Here's what I think: if you want to spell 'Mining' in giant stone letters you should just spell the damn word out--these were mining students, for God's sake: they could always get more rocks! But that was a long time ago and no one really knows where the giant 'M' came from. The 'M' could just as easily stand for Mars or Mothership or Meet here, UFOs!

Anyway, I see an interesting line of questioning developing here. Because, from what I understand about geography, in order to clearly see a giant 'M' to the east of Platteville, you would almost certainly have to be hovering in a ship to the west of Platteville... I really hope this witness gets back to me...


Anonymous said...

Maybe I'm jaded but I don't think either of the remaining two reports are particularly compelling. I will be interested to hear whether your witnesses are willing to subject themselves to any serious interrogation about their sightings. To me, they sound like the hundreds of spurious reports that clog up Peter Davenport's UFO Reporting Center.

Jack Brewer said...

Congratulations on your promotion, Mark. I hope things go well.

I enjoy the interesting and entertaining posts. Looking forward to more!

Anonymous said...

Department 47, I agree with your assessment. If lights in the sky are the best MUFON can come up with... My question still stands, who is analyzing these cases and trying to come up with some conclusions? Or is this merely a collection agency? Also, keep inviting Steven Greer to the MUFON symposiums if you want to be thought of as irrelevant.

Mark UFO'Connell said...

Or, as I like to call him, Steven Greed.

Anonymous said...

Since MUFONs resources are limited, they really need to triage these cases. Ones like these with meandering nocturnal lights warrant a polite thank-you e-mail and not much else. Time and energy should be focused on the truly compelling cases.

I wouldn't waste too much time with unresponsive witnesses either. In the vast majority of cases, lack of response usually equates to lack of truthfulness.

Mark UFO'Connell said...

Agreed! I'm about to shut down two more cases///