High Strangeness: My UFO Promotion

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

My UFO Promotion

Vxxxx, my State Director at MUFON, finally got back to me with the official horrific description of what my life would be like if I accepted her offer to make me the Chief Investigator for the state. It's pretty grim:

The Chief Investigator's job is to assign, review and approve cases.  The Chief Investigator, if utilized in a given state, is a senior field investigator appointed to the position by the State Director.  The Chief Investigator must work closely with all Field Investigators and State Section Directors to ensure that the state's caseload is efficiently managed.  The Chief Investigator must be thoroughly familiar with MUFON's Case Management System (CMS).  The Chief Investigator may also provide periodic investigator training to state volunteers.  The Chief Investigator is responsible for the initial review of the investigator's case report to assess its completeness, including reviewing the Vallee Definitions and BGE calculations.  In addition, the Chief Investigator may also actively manage an investigation only at the request of the State Director.  The number of Chief Investigator positions shall be limited to one per state unless approved by the Executive Director.
Whoever takes this job is going to need all-day relief
Seeing as how my state of Wisconsin is currently ranked #29 in terms of percentage of new cases assigned to an investigator within 72 hours and percentage of assigned case reports completed within 90 days, and state #30, Rhode Island, is just a Close Encounter away from bumping us out of our spot, I'd say that whoever takes this gig had better keep the Aleve handy, because he or she is going to have the weight of the world on his or her shoulders.

(For those of you who were wondering, California is in first place and Louisiana is in last. But isn't that true in general?)

Anyway, before I could absorb all of this, I read the rest of Vxxxx's letter, specifically the part where she totally lets me off the hook:
"To be honest - this wasn't how I was viewing the position and I don't think it's the way that most CIs are used.  The way it's described is much more administrative than I was thinking.  I was thinking more of the go to person who knows how to conduct a proper investigation - someone who can oversee and direct others if necessary in the proper techniques."
She wants me to be the go-to person! Why didn't she just say so? I'm all about being the go-to person. I love going to new places! I wrote back asking Vxxxx where she wants me to go, and I'll let you know just as soon as I find out!


Anonymous said...

The following saying seems to apply here... Be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it.

Anonymous said...

Wow - I wouldn't have imagined that MUFON would have the same misleading job descriptions you find in other businesses. It seems their HR people are as clueless as everyone else's.

So this is a volunteer post with no equipment of stipends provided?

Anonymous said...

"or", not "of"... need more coffee.

Mark UFO'Connell said...

Oh, it's 100% volunteer in MUFON-land. You even have to provide your own Geiger counter.