High Strangeness: Horses and Bayonets

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Horses and Bayonets

Can we solve the UFO mystery with more horses and bayonets? Not likely, but I thought it was worth posing the question.

On to more important things. It occurs to me today that it can make one feel rather silly to be calling people up on the phone and introducing one's self as a Certified UFO Field Investigator calling to ask about their recent UFO sighting. I know what you're thinking: you just now figured that out? Well, no, I've always felt it, but I buried the feelings deep inside. Deep, deep inside. But they've come up again because I've been calling and emailing people the last couple of days trying line up investigations. In the process, I've ended up leaving a couple voicemail messages with witnesses, and for some reason when you start talking UFOs in a voicemail message the goofiness of the whole thing is hard to ignore...

"Hi, Mr./Mrs. XXXXXX, my name is Mark O'Connell, and I'm calling on behalf of MUFON, the Mutual UFO Network. I've been assigned to investigate your recent UFO sighting, and I'd like to arrange a time to go over the details of the incident..."

Maybe it's because when I talk to a person on the other end of the line, the words disappear the moment I've spoken them, but when I leave a message on an answering system, the words live on... Maybe it's just that typing "MUFON" is one thing, but saying "MUFON" out loud is altogether different... Or maybe it's that when you're speaking to someone directly your words only reach their ear, and when you leave a message, there could be a hundred people in the room when the message gets played back, and they could all be howling with laughter by the message ends.

Just try saying it out loud a few times. It sounds dumb.

But this is serious business, and I need to bury those feelings once again and just keep moving forward. Tonight I have had to chastise two other field investigators who are falling behind on their case reports in my four-county area. And one of them is my State Director! I've already sent her a mildly scolding email, and I have no idea how that will go over...

She has three cases outstanding: one involves a "VERY bright light," one involves a "solid orange light traveling northwest," and the third involves a "bright ball" that fell behind some trees. Honestly, how long could it take to investigate these?

The other guy has only one case outstanding, and that involved "12 to 15 glowing orange orbs." I can cut him some slack, because that's a lot of orbs to investigate, but I can't cut him much.

We have got to turn this around. We are a team, and we succeed and fail as a team. But if we do fail, is it my fault or theirs? I know what my guess is.

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