High Strangeness: When It Rains UFOs, It Pours UFOs

Sunday, September 9, 2012

When It Rains UFOs, It Pours UFOs

Geez, the UFO biz quiets down for a couple weeks, and just when you think you might be able to get your lawn mowed or raise your kids or something, all hell breaks loose and suddenly you're drowning in an embarrassment of riches!

Suddenly I have some new UFO sightings to investigate, some new UFO books to read, and in the coming week I'll be visiting the two J. Allen Hynek UFO archives in the Chicago area, one at Northwestern University and the other at the Center for UFO Studies (CUFOS). And I still have to finish my analysis of the National Security Agency's program for how the human race can survive an alien attack in six easy steps. I know what you're thinking: nice cake; where's the icing? Right here, bub: thanks to my wife's literary connections, I now have a publishing company interested in my Hynek book. Which means I have to write the damn thing now. So, yeah, I'll be busy busy for a while...

Here's a little sample of what's on my plate today: I was just assigned a UFO case in which a daughter took some pictures of a strange thing in the sky, then shouted to her dad to look up in the sky, but when he did the thing had disappeared, but it showed up in the photos as a "CIRCULAR OBJECT... THEN THE LIGHT FORMED A BRIGHT CHECK MARK--THEN SORT OF A CROOKED BACKWARD QUESTION MARK."

Well, it doesn't take a genius to see that whatever that object was, it was trying to communicate with this dad & daughter by changing the shape and layout of its light to form characters in our language, not unlike the message board on the belly of the Goodyear Blimp... Unfortunately, the object seems to have mistakenly chosen the Dingbat font, as I often do, and its words and messages -- which could have revealed the meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything -- were changed into check marks and backwards question marks and were completely unintelligible to the witnesses.

Now we may never know what they were trying to say...

Damn, you Dingbats. You have cost the human race dearly.

If the Goodyear blimp was an alien spacecraft, what message would the aliens flash on its message board? And, more importantly, which font would they choose?


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