High Strangeness: Natural-Born Leader

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Natural-Born Leader

Sometimes the UFO investigation business is pretty quiet... and then in a flash it heats up hotter than the hottest part of a super-hot supernova. And today I'm breaking out the Coppertone.

First off, after requesting more UFO Field Investigation cases be sent my way, my State Director has just handed me four cases to look into. Four! It seems some rookie Investigator decided he couldn't take the heat and dropped all his cases, leaving yours truly to pick up the pieces, as usual.

Then, due in large part to my "enthusiasm (see above) and report writing skills," my MUFON State Director has asked me to take on the position of State Section Director for the south-central-eastish section of Wisconsin, and I have accepted. Naturally, once I accepted the position I thought it would be a good idea to read up on what I had just volunteered to do. That's the sign of a natural-born leader.

Here's how the MUFON Field Investigator's Manual describes the responsibilities of a State Section Director (SSD):

"Having assembled a cadre of trained investigators within a geographic area, the State Director should strongly consider recommending one of the individuals for appointment to the supervisory position of State Section Director. (On occasion, a person with leadership potential communicates his/her credentials directly to the International Director. In that circumstance, the State Director may be asked to concur in appointing the individual to a Section Director position.)

"As the first level of supervisory responsibility, Section Directors have specific duties and functions within their geographic areas (usually one or more counties dependent on population density and geographical location proximity.)

"After the state is substantially organized, and given the particular strengths of the State Director, it is advisable to recommend the appointment of one or more Assistant State Directors for geographical areas and a Chief Investigator."

Okay, so that doesn't actually tell me all that much about the position. To be more precise, it tells me nothing. Fortunately, State Director Vxxxx tells me that her State Director's Handbook has this to say:  

"A State Section Director is responsible for managing the field investigators and volunteers in the counties under their supervision....and reviewing investigation case reports from their area to ensure accuracy and completeness."

One word: Cakewalk.

Vxxxx was nice enough to offer me a choice of sections to be chief of: the the south-central section a little in the middle of the state, or the south-central section more to the east. I chose the latter section, which includes my home county of Jefferson, as well the UFO-happy counties of Walworth, Waukesha and Milwaukee (see map). It wasn't that hard to choose, actually, as Walworth County is the home of the Burlington Vortex, and the territory encompassing Walworth and Jefferson Counties is known Bigfoot country. UFOs, Vortexes, Bigfoots: the perfect trifecta!

This is my beat: Jefferson, Walworth, Waukesha and Milwaukee Counties. You can locate them on this map a mere inch or so above this very caption.
This promotion suits my ambitions to a T. You see all those pretty counties? Someday soon they will all be under my supervision. Then someday soon after that, the entire country will be under my supervision. That's right, I will be able to tell the entire country -- all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and all those other places we own -- what to do, and it will have no choice but to listen!

Don't laugh; this is how Blofeld got his start.

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