High Strangeness: Alien Invasion!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Alien Invasion!

So I've been reading this old book, "The Uncensored Truth About UFOs," written by Captain Edward J. Ruppelt, the former director of the Air Force's Project Blue Book. The book recounts Ruppelt's adventures as the Air Force's key man in the the UFO investigation game in the early 1950's, and it's been a pretty good read. But at the end of the kindle version of the book there are some "bonus chapters" written by some guy named Chet Dembeck... Okay, fine, I don't mind getting a free bonus.

Except I start to read the bonus chapters, and they really don't follow in any way from Ruppelt's book. The new material by this Dembeck fellow is random, disorganized, sloppily researched, and has no business being tacked onto Ruppelt's book, or anyone else's for that matter. Coming from a guy who also wrote a book called "The Palin Juggernaut: Why Sarah Palin should be taken seriously," I guess this should not be a surprise...

But then, buried in the bonus chapters, I come across this amazing passage entitled: "Declassified document outlines U.S. survival plan in event of ET invasion."

Huh? If the government has drafted a survival plan for an alien invasion, then the government must know that UFOs are really spaceships from another world... Why that would mean... Holy shit, it's all true. Mr. Dembeck, I owe you an apology!

Dembeck explains that in 1968 the National Security Agency outlined a six-step strategy for mankind's survival "...if it turns out to that (sic) UFOs and extraterrestrials are real -- and decide to make their move."

When the alien invasion comes, will you have what it takes to survive? You'd better, because I'm not so sure about me.
And when they do make their move, it's all over. According to Dembeck, the declassified NSA document concedes that "if extraterrestrials invade, we are at their mercy." Thanks for that little ray of sunshine, NSA. Glad you weren't in charge of WWII.

At that point is it even worth it to try to survive? We won't really know until we're crushed under ET's thumb, of course, but if we do try to survive, the NSA has provided six helpful tips to get us started, which I will now milk for six successive blog posts. Here's number one:

Step 1: Full and honest acceptance of the nature of the inferiorities separating you from the advantages of the other people.

Uh, NSA? You're not really helping. Did ET hire you to write this? Why else would your #1 survival tip be to accept that you're vastly outclassed and outgunned? And even if we were to attempt to follow this step, how many humans do you know who are been capable of a full and honest acceptance of their inferiorities? Besides me, I mean.

Next up: Step 2

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