High Strangeness: Aliens I, J, K and L

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Aliens I, J, K and L

I'm starting to hope that I will never have to interview anyone who has seen an alien entity in the course of their UFO encounter, because I would be embarrassed to have to show them this page and ask if any of these creatures resembled what they saw.

Beyond the fact that entity I looks like a deranged, underfed dwarf, entity J looks like a character from one of my Star Trek episodes, entity K looks like a refugee from a 1960's Italian science fiction movie, and entity L looks like Bigfoot -- oh, hell, it is Bigfoot -- the stupendous variety of the MUFON Staff Artists' stylings goes against one of the best arguments for the reality of the UFO phenomenon.

In many of his writings, the late UFO researcher extraordinaire J. Allen Hynek made the fascinating observation that the millions of UFO and alien sightings on record all share essentially the same features. In report after report, the flying objects all essentially look and behave the same, and the alien entities all essentially look and behave the same. If the UFO phenomenon were fake, Hynek argued, we would not see such consistency in witness reports from around the world and spanning over decades.

And yet we do. People from all over the world and from every decade describe the same type of objects and the same kind of entities over and over, which, in Hynek's view, makes the whole phenomenon very credible. So, Bigfoot, you're not invited to this party. Neither are you, Mr. Evil Scowling Alien with the evil serpent logo on the chest of your skin-tight jumpsuit. I don't know where the MUFON Staff Artist found you, but I'm sending you back.

Shame on you, Bigfoot, for trying to horn in on a whole new world of strange phenomenon when you already have your own all to yourself. How greedy can a hairy, biped creature be? How would you like it if UFOs and space aliens started showing up at Bigfoot sightings? Just go away.

Also, Mr. Skin-Tight Evil Scowling dumb-ass Alien, did you not get the memo? Aliens do not wear jumpsuits anymore. And even if they did, and even if they decided to go all-out and affix an evil-looking symbol to their chest, they wouldn't choose a twisty serpent for their logo. Think about it: if an alien doesn't think he's scary enough on his own without having to sew a scary snake symbol onto his jumpsuit, he's a pretty hopeless alien.

This is how aliens used to dress. In the 1960s. In Italy.





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