High Strangeness: Alien Detectors

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Alien Detectors

Looks like I'm not going to get my alien detector, and I'm pretty steamed about it.

If you read my last post, then you know that yesterday I wrote to "Captain" David MacDonald, the new International Director of MUFON, to ask him why, if MUFON was in possession of alien detectors, they were not issuing them to their Field Investigators. Quite simply, I wanted one of my own, and I wanted it now.

This whole thing came about because Mr. MacDonald had dropped a little bomb in his column in the latest issue of the MUFON eJournal that alien detectors were among the items shipped to the new MUFON HQ in Cincinnati. It made sense to me that if MUFON had such amazing technology available to its members, then it should damn well get the detectors out into the field so we can start rounding up aliens, and I thought my inquiry to Mr. MacDonald was entirely reasonable.
Toucan Sam gives away alien detectors. Why won't MUFON?

Alas, Mr. MacDonald didn't think so. Within minutes of my hitting the "send" button, he got back to me with this glib response:

Hello Mark!
The detectors are part of an experimental program called the Omega Project.
They are experimental only, very expensive and not for public consumption.
Sincerely;
David MacDonald

Okay, let's just unpack this, shall we?

First, who is this "public" he's yammering on about? I am not a member of the public. I am a dues-paying member of the organization, and I have made a hefty investment of time, money and energy so far studying to become a Certified MUFON Field Investigator. I think I deserved something more than this condescending brush-off.

Second of all, the fact that MUFON is in possession of this advanced game-changing technology and is keeping it under wraps goes against everything MUFON is supposed to stand for, namely transparency and open access to information. The MUFON folks love to whine about government cover-ups, but at the same time they sure do love to keep secrets themselves.

Third of all, when I did a web search for "Omega Project," the first item that came up on the list was a porn site featuring "naked babes and nude girls galleries." Now, right off the bat this bugs me, because to my understanding there's really no difference between a naked babe and a nude girl, but I have bigger fish to fry here. Why would there be a porn site named after an alien detector? Conversely, why would an alien detector be named after a porn site?

Unless...

Unless MUFON is using naked babes and nude girls as alien detectors! It kind of makes sense, and it opens up the intriguing possibility that someday I may be going out on UFO Field Investigations accompanied by a naked or nude girl or babe partner. It also makes me feel bad for the naked and nude girls and babes that, if my theory is correct, were apparently shipped from Colorado to Ohio in the back of a truck.

Of course, there is another possibility here, probably the most likely explanation of all. Mr. Captain MacDonald is pulling my leg.

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