High Strangeness: Color Me Disappointed

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Color Me Disappointed

Well, I go away on vacation to Germany for a few days, and what happens while I'm gone? Nothin.

I thought that maybe if I just walked away for a while, MUFON would solve the whole UFO mystery for me, but apparently they've been too busy moving their files and records and dictating machines from the old antiquated HQ in Greeley, CO, to the new antiquated HQ in Cincinnati, OH. New International Director David MacDonald writes about the move in his column in the April MUFON eJournal, and it seems as though it was a pretty big deal.

How's this for a bombshell: when all the file cabinets and records were unloaded and delivered to the new offices in Cincinnati, Mr. MacDonald made the startling discovery that the files contain EVIDENCE! Hundreds of cases of EVIDENCE! That's actually how he wrote it: EVIDENCE! IN ALL CAPS!

Wow. Didn't anyone in Greeley ever look through those files? Did they not know they were sitting on hundreds of cases of evidence? I guess we should all be grateful that all that evidence in now in Cincinnati, where it will be appreciated, and noticed even.

I admit, I had my doubts that hiring airplanes and trucks to move the collected records and wisdom of MUFON from Colorado to Ohio was the best possible use of my dues, especially when I read that one of the articles that we paid to haul cross-country was a rocket engine that "fell off" a 1960's-era Vanguard missile. Because nothing can solve the mystery of UFOs like a smashed-up old rocket engine collecting dust in the foyer. So, yeah, that all kind of bugged me, but I have to say that the discovery of all that evidence has made me reconsider.

This is a Vanguard missile, moments before its engine will "fall off" and find its way into a MUFON filing cabinet.

Then there's this: in his further cataloging of all the material that arrived in the new offices, Mr. MacDonald mentions a number of fascinating articles found in the inventory, such as "projectors," "books" and "alien detectors."

What the what?

Alien detectors? First of all, what is an alien detector, exactly? Second of all, why isn't that front page news, in ALL CAPS even?? Third of all, why haven't I gotten mine yet? For goodness sake, you have alien detectors in stock and you're not sending them out to your field investigators?

This will not stand. I have just sent a letter to Mr. MacDonald at thecaptain@mufon.com to request my alien detector. Here's what I wrote to thecaptain:

Hi Mr. MacDonald,

I just read your April column in the MUFON eJournal, and was surprised to read that MUFON is in possession of "alien detectors."

What is an alien detector, and why don't I have one? I'm studying to become a MUFON Field Investigator, and feel that an alien detector would be an invaluable tool to have in the field. If I'm going to be encountering aliens in the field, shouldn't I have the proper detection equipment? Especially if it comes down to me or them, I want to be able to detect the aliens before they detect me, you know? If you have them in stock, why are you not sending them out to all your investigators?


Mark O'Connell

I'll let you know what I hear back from thecaptain... 

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