High Strangeness: Straight To the Top

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Straight To the Top

Tonight I had the rare pleasure of having my latest UFO sighting investigated by the Wisconsin State MUFON Director herself. I don't know what I did to get my case kicked so far upstairs, but the air up there tastes just fine! MUFON didn't send any rookies or trainees to handle this case, no sir. And I can guess why. I'm pretty certain that the State Director sussed out what a juicy case this was going to be, and she wanted it to herself. Trust me: I've been in this UFO game long enough to know that that's how State Directors get to be National Directors, and how National Directors get to be International Directors. I've got no problems with that at all. As long as she takes me with her...

Now, on to the interview. Vxxxx, the State Director and soon-to-be National Director, if I have anything to say about it, was calling from the road; that's how dedicated she is! She and her husband, Cxxxx, are at this very moment savoring the sights of sunny California from their RV. But, knowing how explosive this sighting was, Vxxxx interrupted her sightseeing to talk to me for a full half-hour as Cxxxx manned the wheel of the RV.

I was immediately impressed when Vxxx told me that she had already watched my video of the sighting; clearly, her investigation had begun long before we spoke this evening...

A camera flash illuminates a tree branch as a Burlington Vortex UFO shines brightly in the center of the photo.

 Slowly, haltingly, I gave Vxxxx the intel on the sighting, including as much factual detail as I could, and she started asking me the usual questions: Did any of the witnesses suffer any ill effects? Did the animals in the woods show any signs of disturbance? Did the UFOs leave behind any physical evidence? If Vxxxx was disappointed that my answer to pretty much all of her questions was "no," she didn't show it. She knew the truth was out there somewhere, and she wasn't going to let a few negative responses slow her down.

Then Vxxxx and Cxxxx pulled a switcheroo on me. Without warning, Cxxxx started to pepper me with questions:

Cxxxx: Did anyone in the group have an ultraviolet camera with them?
Me: Mmmm, no.

Cxxxx: Did anyone in the group have an infrared camera with them?
Me: Errr, no.

Cxxxx: Did anyone in the group have a night vision camera with them?
Me: You know, I never thought to ask.

Cxxxx seemed a bit let down, so I tried to explain to him that this was a group of 30 or so very silly people out in the woods late at night looking for spirits and ectoplasm, and that as far as I could tell no one on the Haunted Woods Tour that night was actually a part of any black ops team. I even had to admit shamefully that I hadn't even had my Flip video camera on a tripod... For some reason this seemed to be an important detail.

Yes, this cracker jack wife and husband team elevated the good UFO field investigator/bad UFO field investigator ploy to an art form. I never knew what hit me. Are you paying attention, MUFON Board of Directors?

The investigation wound down as the sun set was setting on Vxxxx's and Cxxxx's RV, and soon it was time for my interrogators to say goodbye. But this won't be the last time I meet up with them. I have a feeling that someday soon Vxxxx and Cxxxx are going to drive that RV of theirs up the steps of MUFON headquarters in Greeley, CO and show those folks a thing or two about how a UFO research organization ought to be run!

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