High Strangeness: Small Aliens

Monday, December 5, 2011

Small Aliens

Since I've started getting Tweets from ufo_stalker on my smart phone, I feel pretty on top of the UFO world. Not a day goes by that I don't get at least a handful of UFO sighting reports tweeted to me, and I have to say there is something kind of novel and engaging about having mind-bending, life-changing encounters with otherworldly entities related in 140 characters or less.

There's no room for detail or nuance; a witness just has to go for maximum impact. Take this tweet, for instance: "Witness husband does not believe his own eyes but small a small entity." In any other medium, that statement is the windup to the pitch, but as a tweet it's the whole ball game. Astonishing. I wonder what else I might have learned if the tweeter hadn't felt the need to mention that the husband "does not believe his own eyes." That's 30 precious characters wasted right there, 30 characters that could have been used to... oh, I don't know, describe the small entity maybe.

Anyway, as a good UFO Field Investigator, I decided to follow up on the tweet by looking up the full sighting report at MUFON.com. It turns out that this case may have been better left as a tweet, because in its full form it almost had too much detail... There, on the UFO locator map, I discovered that this encounter had taken place on November 23rd of this year in Liberty, North Carolina. The full report starts out by saying that "The witness is husband to a lady that has had sightings, missing time, and found herself standing naked in her living room at 2 AM recently." Now, there are many reasons why one might find ones self standing naked in one's living room at 2 AM, not all of them having to do with UFOs. But, I thought the witness was the husband... Why is the wife inserting herself into the narrative in a state of undress? Why does she have to make this about her?

But the husband quickly reclaims center stage in the next sentence: "The husband saw what he described as a being about 4 feet tall with long hair. It was in the hallway for 2 seconds looking at him. Then it disappeared into a mist."

Why was the husband in the hallway? Didn't he know that his naked wife was standing in the living room? And why in this version of the story does the husband apparently believe his own eyes? Because I wouldn't have believed mine. Not for a second. It's not the being's small size that jars me, nor is it the being's ability to disappear into a mist, nor is it even the very idea that there could be a mist in one's hallway. It's the long hair that jars me. "Greys" don't have hair. Reptoids certainly don't have hair. So where does this little long-haired 4-footer fit in?

Whoever MUFON assigns to this case, I hope he or she separates the husband and wife and questions them separately. And I hope the wife is wearing something.

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