High Strangeness: Hell on Earth

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Hell on Earth

It's always interesting to me to look over my most popular postings, so I know what you, my readers, are responding to. This helps me tailor my content to your interests, and it tells me how weird you all are. For instance, these days you seem to be most interested in the nine circles of hell hidden away inside a mesa in New Mexico ("Dulce, New Mexico," 11/17/2011), and I find that somewhat disturbing.

Why do you like this? Why do you enjoy reading about this supposed subterranean human-alien genetic research station, home to 18,000 alien "greys," Reptoids and walking lab accidents? My whole point in blogging about it was to show you how silly the whole idea is, but it seems as though my plan has backfired.

You really want to know more about Dulce? Okay, let's start with a believeable little item about President Dwight D. Eisenhower. By all accounts he was a decent guy and a pretty good chief executive, but if that's true then how do you explain the treaty he entered into with the extraterrestrials? You read that right: the "Greada Treaty" signed by Eisenhower in 1954 gave certain alien races the right to abduct the occasional herd of cattle or human being for "research,"on the condition that the humans be returned unharmed. No word on what was to be done with the cattle, but surely an advanced race capable of interstellar travel must have truly superior barbequing skills. Anyway, according to the treaty, the aliens would share technology with us in exchange for their human/cattle abduction rights, and beyond that we generally agreed to be cool with each other. And that, apparently, was the start of the secret subterranean genetic research station in Dulce, New Mexico.

(And that bit about returning abducted humans unharmed? After what I've learned recently about the mental capacity of alien "greys," I think Eisenhower should have stipulated that the aliens return their abductees unharmed and to the right address.)

Then there's the thing about the 1979 "Firefight." Accounts vary, but my favorite version states that an alien "grey" living in the Dulce base was giving a presentation to a group of scientists when it spotted a human security guard wearing a sidearm. This security guard was the first human to learn why guards were not allowed to have weapons anywhere near a "grey." The alien went berserk and killed the guard instantly, then went on to kill about 60 human scientists and security guards using an unknown force. If true, this is a tragic, horrific story, and yet... and yet I can't help but smile warmly at the thought of an alien giving a presentation to a group of human scientists. Did a 1979-era alien use an overhead projector, or did it use a laptop with Microsoft Powerpoint that was being beta tested before being dropped through the open nursery window of infant Bill Gates? Did it use a wooden pointer or a futuristic laser pointer? And could one or both of those pointers have become a lethal weapon in the hands of that alien? What did it talk to the scientists about: advanced technology, or advanced barbequing? Did it provide coffee and donuts, or do "greys" have their own unique alien office treats?

Alas, we will never know, and really, we shouldn't want to know... Because that's the last I want to write about Dulce, New Mexico.

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