Thursday, December 15, 2011

Bong Bong Bong

How's this for a tale of inept government bureaucrats wasting taxpayers' dollars?

The U.S. Air Force decides to build a massive base to house two fighter-interceptor squadrons in the upper Midwest, pours millions of dollars into the construction of that base, and then, just when the base is finished, decides it's redundant and walks away. This is the sad tale of Richard Bong Air Force Base, and it really happened that way back in 1960, right here in southern Wisconsin. The U.S. Air Force actually closed a base before it opened, and basically invited the Russkies to nuke Milwaukee first.

This B-47 Stratojet might have flown missions out of Richard Bong Air Force Base; maybe it does and we don't know it.
I bring this up because of my talk last night with the Super-Terrific Wisconsin State MUFON Director and her equally Super-Terrific husband ("Straight To The Top," 12/14/2011). At one point in the conversation, Vxxxx asked if the two UFOs witnessed on the night of October 29th during the Haunted Woods Tour had come from the direction of the Bong Recreation Area. Now, I should explain that since that dark day in 1960 when the Air Force Base was unceremoniously scrapped, the site has been turned into a State Recreation Area. You may question the wisdom of the State DNR dubbing an isolated 4,500-acre stretch of nowhere "Bong Recreation Area," but I question the wisdom of parents who would name their child "Richard Bong" in the first place. In any case, you do remember the name.

But back to Vxxxx's question. At the time she asked me, I couldn't say whether the two UFOs had come from Bong, but it certainly made sense that they might have come from Bong. Well, today I checked Google Maps looking for Bong and found that, sure enough, the UFOs actually did come from roughly the direction of Bong, and that Bong is only ten miles from the site of the Burlington Vortex, where we sighted the UFOs. Did you follow that? I was just trying to see how many times I could use the word "Bong" before it stopped being funny. I don't think I'm there yet.

Back to Vxxxx's question yet again. I didn't know what she was getting at at first, but eventually it became clear. What if the Air Force only wanted us to think that they had closed the base back in 1960? What better way to build a secret base than to build it out in the open, decide you don't need it, then keep operating it under the radar once everyone thinks you've abandoned it? What if the UFOs we saw that night were actually experimental aircraft, or captured UFOs, operating secretly out of Bong? I have to admit, I like the way Vxxxx thinks.

While I was trying to wrap my brain around Vxxxx's ingenious line of inquiry, her husband Cxxxx hit me with another mind-bender. I recounted yesterday how Cxxxx kept asking me if anyone who sighted the UFO's that night had any infrared, ultraviolet or night-vision cameras on their persons. His reason for asking turned out to be just as ingenious as Vxxxx's secret base idea: What if, Cxxxx speculated, the objects we saw were giving out light in the visible spectrum, but then switched over to a part of the spectrum invisible to the human eye just as they flew over us? That would explain why both UFOs seemed to just blink out of existence overhead. They weren't falling into a wormhole; they were shifting to UV or IR!

See why I love these two? That is some radical stuff coming out of the mouths of a couple of snowbirds piloting their RV down the Pacific Coast Highway. I am in awe.

And, oh yeah: Bong.

1 comment:

J. Jason Groschopf said...

There wasn't a lot to do growing up in Brighton Township. One hobby in my youth was studying, mapping and exploring the remnants of the former air base.

I can say categorically that there's nothing covert going on at that property. Just some bored DNR wardens and wayward campers.

All of the above ground structures form the air force base have long since been razed. Underground, it's just a bunch of storm sewers and heating plant tunnels eroding over time. They're creepy (off-limits to civilians and dangerous), but not nefarious.

I had been asked to investigate a UFO sighting over the area back in the early 2000s. Near dusk, a strange light was seen bobbing over the park seemingly without sound and not moving like a conventional aircraft would.

Turns out it was an ultralight aircraft.

Some aviation enthusiast used the airstrip the DNR built atop the former main runway going out for a joyride near nightfall.

Occam's razor, baby.