High Strangeness: Phil Larson is Lying

Monday, November 7, 2011

Phil Larson is Lying

"We, the undersigned, strongly urge the President of the United States to formally acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence engaging the human race and immediately release into the public domain all files from all agencies and military services relevant to this phenomenon."

So begins a petition recently submitted to the White House by a group called "Paradigm Research Group," and signed by 12,708 truth-seekers. Another, similar petition, submitted anonymously, was signed by 5,387 Americans. By my count, that's 18,095 people in the U.S.A. who think that all you have to do is "strongly urge" the President to do something and he will do it. Uh, that only works for some of us.

Anyway, the White House recently instituted a new policy whereby it will respond within 30 days to any public petition signed by more than 5,000 people, and so today the petitioners got their answer. Responding to both petitions at once (so as to save taxpayer dollars), the White House announced that "The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race. In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public's eye."  Read the full, unedited, stupid, insulting, pathetic, laughable, preposterous, shamefully lame statement here.

Hey, you 18,095 people, I feel bad for you, but what did you really expect? Next time, go for something a little more demanding than "strongly urging" the President to come clean. Establish a sense of urgency. Threaten to hold your breath if he doesn't do what you want. Imagine the power of 18,095 people holding their breath all at once. Obama would be at your mercy!

And, White House, I'm not letting you off the hook. Could you put just a little more effort into your responses? All you can come up with is "The U.S. government has no evidence..." and "There is no credible information..." which you've been trotting out since Rutherford B. Hayes was strongly urged to reveal the truth about Bigfoot. Then you make it worse by issuing the statement from the desk of "Phil Larson," who works in "space policy and communications at the White House Office of Science & Technology Policy." Oh, sure... I always go straight to Phil Larson when I want the U.S. government to clear up something important for me, don't you?

I'm not buying it. Not until Phil flipping Larson himself swings open the front gates to Area 51 and invites us all in for tea and cookies. I can't word this any better than the petition did:  

"The people can handle the truth."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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