High Strangeness: Dead Battery

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Dead Battery

Bad news on the UFO chase vehicle front... The dead battery from my trusty old Taurus is hooked up to the battery charger as I write this, and God only knows if it can be saved.

Without that battery I can't start the car, and if I can't start the car I can't drive it, and if I can't drive the car I can't respond to UFO sighting reports ("It Gets Me Where I Want to Go," 9/9/2011). I mean, sure, I could use my new car in a pinch. And, yes, I could use my wife's car if my new car wasn't available, but since nobody else in the household drives that would be really unexpected. The point is, I want the old Taurus and only the old Taurus to be my official UFO chase vehicle, because it's so solid and sturdy, it's one of the few places where I can still play my old cassette tapes, it's completely paid for, and, frankly, I don't want the new car to end up in the sights of same alien laser cannon.

So I must get the battery working! And then I must get to work on the transformation. I must somehow get the Taurus from this:

...to this:

I only have a few months, a few tools, and, to be honest, a few dollars. It should be easy enough to find or fabricate a radar dish for the roof, and maybe someday I could even make it functional, but the tank treads and laser-proof bodywork will really stretch my abilities.

I think it's time to see if FUFOR, the Fund for UFO Research, is really as broke as its website seems to suggest...

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